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He beamed at me, pleased that I liked what he’d ordered. It was moving that he’d gone out of his way to do something for me.
While we ate, we talked more about family, about finding the right people, about having someone to lean on.
“For a long time, I was worried that my power would corrupt my family, somehow,” Erol said.
He glanced up at me to gauge my reaction. He was confiding something in me he didn’t tell a lot of people, I realized.
“Why?”
“They’re not Conjurites.”
I gasped, staring at Erol. “They’re Fae?”
He nodded. “The last thing I want is for this darkness to creep into their lives and taint it as it tainted mine. I don’t wish this on anyone.”
His speech was more proof that he was inherently good, that there was something worth saving about him.
There was a lot worth saving.
“Tell me about them,” I probed, and Erol told me about his sister and how close they’d been once, how she loved animals, and tending the farm was perfect for her. He told me about his mom and her embroidery, how she created wonderful quilts with so much color, the Conjurites traveled from near and far to buy them because of the bright hues that were a stark contrast to their drab world.
“They sound wonderful,” I said when Erol fell silent, a smile on his face after thinking about his family in such a warm way.
“They would like you, too,” he added.
“I’d love to meet them.”
“Would you?” Erol asked, his brows knitting together.
I nodded. “Will you receive them at the castle, soon?”
“I wasn’t going to. It’s…dangerous. It always was. Now that Falx is gone…I still fall back onto my reflexes, trying to protect people when the imminent threat is long gone.”
“I know what that’s like.” I knew all too well how the habit of surviving didn’t go away, even though it was clear it wasn’t necessary to keep fighting to stay alive anymore.
Erol nodded and pushed the last of his Orbin around on the plate. I watched as he withdrew and shut down from me.
I reached across the table and put my hand on his. He glanced up at me.
“I think it’s noble how you want to protect them. I’m sure they feel it, too.”
“I don’t know. Through their eyes, I walked away, chose a different life, and didn’t look back.”
I shook my head. I was convinced that Erol’s mother and sister understood he wanted to keep them safe from the darkness that penetrated everything else in Palgia. I would have done the same thing.
“You’re so kind to me,” Erol said in a low voice. “Even after everything I’ve done—”
“That’s in the past,” I cut him off. “You had no choice, you said so yourself. You have a choice now, and you’re not the same person.”
Erol shook his head, but he didn’t say anything. His emotions seemed close to the surface, like he struggled to keep it together.
I stood and walked around the small table to him, standing in front of him.
“You’re not a bad man, Erol.”
He looked up at me. His face was raw with emotion, his eyes deep and dark and churning.
“How can you say that?” he asked. “After everything I did…”
