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She coughed and spluttered, kicking and writhing on the floor, clawing at her neck to get rid of the hands that choked her. She couldn’t—they weren’t real hands, and her fingers slid through the darkness again and again.
“Erol, don’t!” Hazel screamed, jumping up.
She wrapped two small hands around my enormous bicep and tugged and pulled, but I swatted her away like a fly. The darkness was in control, and a part of me—the Conjurite part—relished in what was happening.
The other part of me, the part that had only been along for the ride since the day I’d been forced to give up the light, watched in horror as I did exactly what I’d told myself I would never do again.
“Let her go!” a panicked Vanya pleaded, and she ran toward me. I felt her coming with all her Luminescent magic. She was powerful, but I was stronger than she was.
When she reached me, I didn’t use magic to do anything to her—my power was too busy choking Zita, who started blacking out on the floor. I pushed Vanya aside as she came for me, and the power behind my movement was so strong, Vanya flew back. She hit a wall with a thud, crying out as the air was forced out of her lungs, and she sank to the ground.
“Erol!” Hazel shouted, and her voice pushed through the waves of power that blocked everyone out. It reached me when nothing else could, tugging me back to reality.
I saw what I was doing. I saw Zita, her body limp on the floor and her eyes rolling back in her skull. I saw Vanya, trembling on the carpet on the other side of the room. I saw the Conjurites,mypeople, terrified of me, huddling together.
Lastly, I saw Hazel’s face and the terror and pure sorrow in her eyes.
That snapped me out of it, and I came back to the present. The darkness retreated, and I looked around at the destruction I’d caused. The anger was replaced by remorse immediately, and I felt terrible.
“Fuck,” I breathed. I ran both hands over my head. “What did I do?”
Hazel’s eyes filled with tears. Seeing her cry—knowing it was my fault—broke me.
I pushed past her, past the Conjurite who huddled together like sheep, and left the room, leaving the chaos I’d created behind for someone else to clean up, like the asshole I clearly was.
I ran through the castle, the pain of my mistakes on my heels. Cyrene was right next to me as I ran, whispering in my ear, in myhead.
This is who you are. You can never get away from it. Destruction, pain, fear; it’s all you’re capable of. You think you have good in you, but there’s only a void where the good used to be. You’re better off like this, with the power you wield. You don’t deserve anything else.
By the time I reached my room, my breath scraped in and out of my lungs, and I felt sick to my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and threw up, retching into the toilet until my stomach was empty. I gagged a couple of times more before I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and stumbled back into my room.
I had to get out of here. I had to get away—far away from anyone and everything so I didn’t hurt another soul. I’d nearly killed Zita, and I was too scared to know what I’d done to Vanya. If I’d caused any kind of damage to Hazel’s mother…I would never be able to forgive myself.
Hazel had become so much to me in such a short time, and to be the thing she hated was too much to bear.
I packed a bag as fast as I could, not bothering to ask for a servant’s aid. When the bag was ready, I ran through the castle again. I ignored guards and servants who wanted to help, who fell to their knees with pure fear when I hurried by. Word about these things spread fast, and by now, they probably already knew what a monster I was.
I’d only fooled myself into thinking I’d changed. I hadn’t changed at all—I was still Falx’s right-hand man, the one who killed and destroyed on his behalf.
No, not Falx’s. Cyrene’s.
I was Cyrene’s bitch.
The hover bike was where I’d left it in the shed outside the castle walls, and I kicked it until it shuddered to life. I swung my bag onto my back, got on the bike, and opened throttle. The bike took me away from the castle and the hell I’d created there and took me toward the jagged mountains to the north.
I had a cabin up there, hidden away from everything and everyone. Not even Falx had known about it—it had been my sanctuary where I’d had a chance to escape to a handful of times during my tenure at the castle under Falx’s rule.
Now, I couldn’t think of a better place to lock myself away. I had to isolate myself from the rest of the world before I destroyed everything that was good.
19
HAZEL
“Mom!” I cried out. I wanted to run to her, but Zita lay limp on the floor, and I didn’t want to leave her side.
She looked pale, her lips were blue, and she had bruises like a necklace around her throat although Erol hadn’t once physically touched her.
My heart broke as tears rolled over my cheeks. What had he done?
