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Dex’s face softened, and his eyes filled with an emotion I didn’t understand. He was a hard character to read, filled with emotion, and he never used words to describe it.
“We’ll get to a point where that’s not true for you anymore.”
I sighed. “Will we? It feels like this is my life now, a new normal.”
Dex came closer, but he stopped a few feet away. He was careful not to make me feel uncomfortable.
Somewhere deep within me, I craved his touch. I wanted him to come closer. I flashed on a hand on my cheek, a memory that rose from the corners of my mind, accompanied by a feeling of warmth and affection.
“How are you today?” Dex asked carefully.
“The same as yesterday. I keep hoping that being in here will unlock something for me, that I will find answers. But it’s always the same—it’s just another room, and these are just more books.”
“It will take time, but your memories are in there somewhere, just locked away. Would you like some tea?”
I nodded, and Dex beckoned for me to follow him.
Sincetheevent—I’d come to define what had happened to me that way—I was completely alone in my cathedral. Ellie told me she’d dismissed the servants, apologetic that I had to do some things myself. I didn’t remember what it meant not to, so it didn’t bother me, but Ellie had seemed very upset that she had to do that. I was just glad to be left alone so I could try to figure out what was going on. Everyone made me nervous. I knew no one, and when I got looks of pity from the few people who did see me, it made me feal like a freak to be ogled at, like I was missing something.
I supposed I was.
Dex walked to the kitchen and brewed tea for us. Magic ran through the palace and powered the water, making it hot in no time.
“I trained the new recruits again this morning,” Dex said, chatting while he worked. “They’re getting better.”
He always came to tell me something about his day, about how things worked here at the palace. I loved the deep sound of his voice rumbling in his chest when he talked. It had become soothing, something I missed when he wasn’t here.
“I asked them to watch the elite guards’ training a couple of days ago so that they can see what they’re aiming for one day. I wanted them to be as unified as the elite guard, but we still have a long way to go.”
Dex brought a cup of tea to me where I sat at the kitchen table.
“Thank you,” I said and wrapped my hands around it, drinking in the warmth.
He nodded and sat down with a cup of tea of his own.
The cup was tiny and fragile in his large hands, and it was comical to watch him sip tea. I studied his features. His face, scarred and gruff as it was, was pleasant to look at. Despite his enormous size, he walked with the fluidity of someone who knew how to handle himself.
My stomach clenched. He was attractive, and the more time we spent together, the more I liked him. I had a feeling I’d felt a lot more for him before I’d lost my memories, and I could understand why.
Dex was an anomaly. He looked like a warrior, but in private, he was a large teddy bear, filled with mush.
“Did you always want to be a general, a warrior?” I asked.
Dex glanced up at me and frowned. “I…guess I did. My family is known for its warrior blood. My dad, my brothers, my uncles. My eldest nephew is a lieutenant, and the others will follow in his footsteps when they’re old enough, I’m sure.”
“Did you ever want to do something else?”
He shook his head. “What else is there but to fight for the greater good? I’m here to make sure Ellie and Ren are safe, that Jasfin is safe, so that they can do what they need to do for the people. Fighting is noble, and saving lives…” Dex shrugged. It was the longest speech from him I’d heard in a while.
As I looked at him, I flashed on a man wearing leathers, wielding a sword. He was bloodied, wielding magic with fury and grace. He was incredible, a force to be reckoned with.
I stared at Dex.
“What?” he asked with a frown.
I shook my head. What I’d seen was a memory, something I’d seen when I’d been in battle with him. I didn’t know how I knew; I just did. My stomach turned and twisted, and my pulse sped up. With Dex, I remembered small things.
Maybe there was hope for me to remember who I was yet.
