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Ellie let out a breath, billowing her cheek. Deron let go of my hands and reached up to Ellie’s face, making sounds, babbling in his toddler language.
“You’re going to hurt her,” Ellie said.
“You don’t know that.”
“Terra showed Nylah!” she cried out.
“Yeah, and you kept it from me. Nylah doesn’t remember. I understand why she didn’t tell me, but you…you should have told me.”
Ellie shook her head and pursed her lips. “Be logical, Dex. You know what Nylah’s visions are like. You know how she’s never wrong.”
“Maybe the vision was talking about this,” I suggested, scratching my head. “Maybe the vision was about her not knowing who I was, and that was us losing each other. It already happened, so we’re in the clear.”
Ellie shook her head. “I’m sorry, Dex. It’s not. You’re going to lose each other if you keep doing this, and I won’t let you hurt her.”
I groaned. “You can’t put this on me. Not after you’ve kept it from me.”
“I didn’t think it was necessary to tell you, since she didn’t know who anyone is anymore.”
My anger doubled. “You didn’t think I deserved to know something about me?”
“Dex, don’t get mad at me.”
I balled my hands into fists. “Don’t tell me what to do, Ellie. I’m pretty damn sick of you calling the shots like you’re the leading authority on what’s good for Nylah.”
“Careful how you talk to me,” Ellie clapped back. “I’m still your queen.”
“You’re right,” I said curtly. “You’re also my friend. Nylah’s friend. We’re supposed to have each other’s backs.”
“I’m trying to have her back!” Ellie yelled.
Deron squealed when her voice rose, mimicking her, and she jiggled him again.
“Yeah,” I said. “But you forgot to have mine.”
11
NYLAH
Ihugged the toilet bowl and groaned. I felt sick to my stomach, heaving and retching despite not having any stomach contents to dispose of anymore.
I’d been throwing up all morning.
When I was sure nothing would come out anymore, I stood and opened the faucet, leaning over the basin. I splashed cold water on my face and rinsed my mouth.
What was going on with me?
Ellie had told me that I’d once been a healer, and I wished I had that ability now. I would have used it on myself to get rid of this wretched feeling.
I walked to my room and dropped myself on my bed. I didn’t usually get back into bed during the day, but I didn’t have the courage to face anything else.
Over the past couple of weeks since I’d lost my memory, I’d tried to find snippets of my life that would tell me who I was. I learned what I could from the books and scribbles on paper in my library, I listened to what Ellie, Ren, and Dex told me about who I was. It wasn’t enough to give me a clear picture.
“Nylah?” a gentle voice asked from my bedroom door, and when I looked up, Vanya came to me.
“Hi,” I said weakly.
“Ellie asked me to come see you,” Vanya said.
