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She briefly stopped in the bathroom, emerging a minute later looking mostly put together. Then she pulled on her heels, and it was time to go. We both looked back at the room for a long moment before closing the door. A hell of a lot had changed in there.
The elevator ride was long and painfully silent. Partly because we were both sleep deprived, and partly because we didn’t know what to say to each other. Even after everything we had done with each other, to each other, it was still awkward. We had a lot to figure out. A lot to deal with back home. And no time.
“Well. I need to go this way.” I motioned towards the entrance to the parking garage once we were out of the elevator.
“Ahh. I’m heading out front to get a cab.” Jillian replied, flushing lightly at the obvious statement.
“I have a flight out tomorrow,” I said of my job as a pilot. “But I’ll be back Tuesday afternoon. Can we meet up, and finally talk?”
“Sure. I think I’m free,” she whispered.
One stilted hug later, we parted ways. Thus, bringing an end to our unexpected Vegas adventure.
Other than a few simple texts confirming a time and Jillian’s address over the last two days, we hadn’t spoken at all.
It didn’t make sense given our short time together, but I had missed Jillian like crazy. She had never really been mine, but it felt like something was missing without her. The days crawled by.
By the time I landed and headed home, I was dying to see her again. I was also equally apprehensive. That night, both nights actually, had been nothing short of earth-shattering. There was something amazing between us, there was no doubt in my mind.
But although we had agreed to hold off on the paperwork a little while longer, I had a bad feeling. As if the second she had crossed the city limits without me, sanity had returned. I was convinced that as soon as I saw her, she would throw divorce papers at me. Or annulment papers. Whatever they were at this point.
Or even worse, there was the remote possibility that in the last few days Eric had somehow managed to worm his way back into Jillian’s life. That he had convinced her to take him back. That was my worst fear. I didn’t think she would ever do that, but I couldn’t be sure. I hadn’t talked to my brother in well over a week either, so I had no idea what he was thinking about their breakup.
All in all, I was a confused and tense mess. It was a miracle I hadn’t crashed the plane I had been flying.
And then Jillian opened the door to her apartment, looking sweet and beautiful in her simple white sundress and bare feet and the tension disappeared.
Unlike her days in Vegas, she was wearing almost no makeup, and her hair was loose and free around her shoulders. Not that I hadn’t appreciated wilder and sexier Jillian too, because I very much had. But now she looked comfortable and casual, someone I could picture myself lounging on the couch with every night. And once again, she reminded me of the Jillian I had met at the restaurant over a year ago, the one I had originally fallen for, and had never stopped caring about.
With her looking like that, I was in so much trouble.
“Hey,” she said in greeting. She smiled tentatively, but I had no idea what was going on in that head of hers.
Jillian held the door open, and I followed her inside, taking in the décor as I did. It was warm and welcoming, just like her. I also surreptitiously looked for any sign of Eric in her life, but there was nothing. Either there never had been much, or she had already removed it all.
A sliver of relief slipped in.
After the short tour, we ended up sitting in her living room, making small talk about her last night in Vegas, the ride home, and our respective jobs over the last several days. Just when I couldn’t stand it anymore, she sighed heavily.
“This is ridiculous. We don’t need to be so weird with each other. We’re friends, kind of. We’re definitely...something more than these strangers we’re acting like.”
“I think the word you are looking for is—” I started to say.
“Nope! Don’t say it,” she interjected, laughing.
“Alright fine.” I smiled at her. “We won’t discuss the elephant yet. But…we do need to decide what to do about it, right?”
Jillian nodded and rolled her eyes.
I cracked my knuckles.
A clock on her wall literally ticked the seconds.
Finally, Jillian scooted towards me. “Ok. So. We’re…you know. Legally. And we also, got, umm, close last weekend. Those are two different issues. Or possibly the same one. Regardless, as I see it, we have three options. One, we undo the legal part, and pretend the rest never happened. Two, we don’t undo the legal part, but still pretend none of it ever happened. At least until someday when it becomes an issue. And three, we don’t undo anything, yet, and we also keep…hanging out.”
I smirked at how diplomatic she was trying to be. “Very well put. I think you know where I stand, though. I didn’t want to undo it the morning after, and I still don’t. As I see things, it’s already done. And there’s no hurry to undo it as far as I know. What if we undo it, and then change our minds? That’s so much messy paperwork. Why hurry anything? As for the other part, well, I absolutely don’t want to pretendthatdidn’t happen.” I also scooted forward, grabbing Jillian’s hand.
She looked down and spoke so softly I could barely hear her. “Yeah. I don’t really either. I didn’t expect that. I don’t understand how I could feel that way with you so soon. But I won’t lie to you. I felt something.”
