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“Right now, I honestly don’t know,” she finally said.
I let out a small relieved laugh. “You sound like me,” I replied.
For a moment, five years hadn’t passed. We were still the same two people we had been that summer before college began. We had the world before us and so many plans, so many dreams. Then the door to the store opened and Mrs. Ramos called out, “Ezmita! I need you to get back to the register.”
She glanced back at her mother and nodded. “Yes, Momma. Coming.” Then she turned back to me. “I better get back in there. It was good seeing you, Asa. Take care,” and she walked inside with one last wave. The illusion was gone.
CHAPTER FOUR
EZMITA
Weren’t people supposed to stop growing when they hit puberty? Wasn’t that how it worked? Because holy crap, Asa was massive. He had not looked like that the last time I saw him. Just two years ago, he had been broader, maybe taller, but he had not been the huge brick wall that he was now. The very wide, muscular, towering, gorgeous, brick wall… ugh! I shook my head at my thoughts.
I had told myself I would not think about Asa that way. Although it was hard not to think about him being gorgeous when he was absolutely just that. He was this big, huge man now, and crawling up that brick wall sounded way too appealing.STOP IT!I scolded myself.
Asa was a former SEC football player. I had been surprised when he didn’t go into the NFL draft, as had been my brothers. Everyone in town had expected him to. He had settled on a career instead. I wondered if he had been hurt or if it was because of a girl. There had to be a female. A guy did not look like that and remain single.
Tall, leggy models with long flowing hair and tiny waists that turned heads everywhere they went were what you found on the arms of a guy like Asa Griffith. There had to be one somewhere around here that belonged to him.
I had made the right decision five years ago. I was not the kind of female that dated guys like Asa. Nothing about me was supermodel material. We were grown now, and the teenage years were over. All just fond memories to cherish.
I shoved all thoughts of Asa aside and focused on talking to the customers as I rang up their groceries and bagged them. There were very few new faces. Most I had known all my life. They had been coming in here as long as I could remember. By the time we closed the doors that evening, I knew all the town gossip and updates. More information than I wanted to know.
Taking off my apron, I tossed it into the dirty bin, then picked up the bin to take back to the laundry room.
“What did the Griffith boy have to say?” my motherasked me as I walked into the house with the dirty basket from the store.
“Just to say hello,” I replied with a shrug.
“He is a big man now.”
I laughed then. “Yes, Momma, he is rather large,” I replied.
When she said nothing more I started toward the laundry room with the basket.
“Is he staying in Lawton?” she asked me.
Stopping, I sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know. We didn’t talk that much. I dated him briefly five years ago. I don’t know him anymore.” And that sad fact was one I wished I hadn’t verbalized. Knowing something and stating it aloud were two different things. The latter hurt more.
I put the aprons and towels into the washer, then headed for the stairs. I knew dinner would be ready soon. I could smell the mole and knew we would be having chicken tonight. Teresa had been gone all afternoon to a senior picnic the school had hosted. She still wasn’t home, and I knew it had to do with either a boy or the fact she didn’t want to work in the store.
Either way, I knew she would be home soon, because missing family dinner was not acceptable.
I wanted a moment of peace in the room I was sharing with her before she returned and talked nonstop about herday. I would be happy to hear about it, but for just a few minutes I needed to talk myself back into a good mood. Somehow I had gotten into a funk, and I feared it was over Asa freaking Griffith.
The fact I could so easily be put in a funk over a guy I dated one summer five years ago when I hadn’t shed a tear over a relationship that ended after four years said a lot. Too much. More than I needed to know about how much time I had wasted with Malecon. The worst part was he had loved me. He still did. He had told me at least once a week that he loved me for the past three years, and not one time had I been able to say it back.
Yet he had stayed with me. He had stayed with me until he had given up on us. I had stayed with him because Malecon was my friend. He was comfortable and safe. I didn’t have to worry about a broken heart with him because I hadn’t given him mine to break. When I had first met him, I’d instantly disliked him.
He had been working at our store as a stock boy, and I had been fixated on Asa. I had overlooked him or just been annoyed by him when he made it impossible to ignore him. That had been our way up until the day I had walked away from Asa Griffith. I had decided letting him go was the safest and smartest thing to do for myself.
When I had walked into the store and gone directlyto the back of the store to break apart and cry, it had been Malecon who came to sit beside me. For the first time he hadn’t talked and said stupid things. He had been quiet. He had let me cry, and when I was ready he had listened to me ramble on about all that had happened.
Over the next year, he became my best friend.
Then he became more than that. He had followed me to Nashville. We had just fallen into a relationship. It had seemed simple. Like it was expected. As if it had been what was supposed to happen. But deep down I had known I could never love him the way he wanted me to. I did try, though. I did.
His final words to me had been “You didn’t completely walk away from Asa Griffith’s truck that day. You left part of yourself behind. I can’t keep waiting on you to get it back.”
