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“I understand that,” I replied.
We stood there looking out over the town that had raised us. Through all the good times, wins, losses, heartbreak, and our darkest moments, we had known that was home. We had that one secure thing to hold on to. Not everyone had that, and I knew we were damn lucky. It was more than just football pads, helmets, fresh-cut grass, the smell of the cowhide. It was a friendship that made us a family. We would always have that, even if our days playing on a field together were over. It had taught us a lot about life, prepared us for things to come—and we had thought we were just playing a sport we loved.
“We were lucky,” I said, breaking the silence.
Brady turned to look at me, but I continued to take in the view.
“To have had this. One another,” I finished.
“Yeah, we were… we are. The game may be finished, but now we have the future.”
I smiled. “That’s what I was thinking.”
“West.” A familiar voice said my name, and I turned to see my mother standing there. I hadn’t expected her to be here. I knew this was Maggie’s doing. She’d wanted me to talk to my mom, but I hadn’t been able to do it. Not after she had gotten married and hadn’t thought to tell me until after.
“Hello, Mother,” I replied.
Brady slapped my back, then walked away, leaving us there. Part of me wished he’d have stayed to be a buffer or distraction.
She looked nervous as she twisted her hands together. I was good at reading her body language. Once we had been close. Once she had been a mother to me. That had died with my dad. She told me what I had already figured out. “Maggie told me about the wedding.”
I nodded. “Sounds like Maggie.”
She bit her lip, and I could see the unshed tears glistening in her eyes. I didn’t want to see my momma cry. God knows I’d seen enough of that in my past, but I also couldn’t justforgive her and act like the past six years hadn’t happened.
“She’s a beautiful bride, but I knew she would be,” Mom said.
I knew Maggie would be stunning. That wasn’t what Mom wanted to talk about, and today wasn’t the day I wanted to have a heart-to-heart with her. This was the day I married the woman I would spend my life with. The woman who had not once let me down or turned her back on me. When I needed someone the most, she was there. I couldn’t say the same for my mother.
“She invited you, and you came. It’s good to see you again. Thanks for coming,” I said, then started to walk away.
“West, please. I need to say something. I need to explain.”
“No, you don’t. Not here and not today. The time for that has passed.”
“Honey, please,” she pleaded, and her voice broke. The lone tear rolling down her cheek made me think of Dad. He never wanted Mom to cry. He loved her laugh. I was making her cry, and although she didn’t deserve this, I couldn’t do it.
“Okay, fine. I’m listening. Just stop crying.”
She sniffled and wiped away her tear and the next one about to fall. “I am sorry. That’s something I haven’t said and I should. I am truly sorry. I lost myself when we lostyour dad. I should have been there for you. I should have been a mother, but I was struggling to make it. You left for college, and the little bit of progress I had made at being a mom again was lost. I was lonely and sad. I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again. I searched for it. Seeing you reminded me of all we had and lost. I felt guilty when I looked at you, and I knew how disappointed your father would be with me.
“I ran from that life. Our life. Lawton. All of it. And I hurt you. I’m so sorry… and I know you aren’t okay with me being married. It’s why I waited to tell you. I was afraid of how you would take it. But I’m happy again. I don’t feel lost anymore. And I know I can’t erase the past, but I want to change how things are now. I want to be a mom to you… and a grandmother.” The sadness, hope, and fear in her eyes made it difficult to lash out. I didn’t understand my mother. I doubted I ever would, but she was my mom. I had never stopped loving her or needing her in my life. I had just learned to live without her.
“You’re right. I don’t understand. I never will, but I forgive you. It was never me keeping you out of my life. That has been your decision. If you want to be a mother and a grandmother, then do it. Show me. The ball is in your court here,” I told her.
She gave me a teary smile. “Really?”
“It always has been, Mom,” I replied.
She stepped closer to me, and I knew what she wanted. I opened my arms and she walked into them as I held her. She sniffled against my chest, and I looked out over the town.
It’s going to be okay, Dad, I mouthed, because I had no doubt he was there watching.
GUNNER
Wearing a tux sucked. I hated dressing up, but this year would be full of this. Weddings out the ass. I grinned, thinking about the fact one of those would be mine. Standing at the edge of the setup, I saw West talking to his mother. There was so much damage in that shit. It looked like they were having a long-past-due talk. His dad’s death had messed that family up. He’d always had the life I wanted growing up, until it all fell apart.
Not that my shitty family had been better. There would be no making up with my mom on my wedding day. She wasn’t interested in that, and there had been no death to tear us apart. My mother hadn’t been one to want children.My father wasn’t my real father and had hated me since the day I was born. There was no love lost there. I didn’t even know where he was living now, nor did I care.
