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We walked to the punch bowl together, and Jessica bent down to fiddle with the strap of her high-heeled shoe, and when she stood I saw she had pulled a flask from under her dress. I shook my head.
“What? You’ve been around the preacher’s daughter too much.” She scoffed as she spiked the punch.
Kyrie grabbed a plastic cup, then looked Jessica in the eye as she poured herself the now spiked liquid.
“We’ve corrupted you.” She smirked in admiration.
Kyrie took a big gulp. “Well, if I’m going to die tonight, I might as well feel good,” she said, turning to me.
“If you’re going to what?” I asked as I waved the drink away, confused. I wanted to have all of my senses and be ready for anything, and Kyrie’s words had my heart racing.
Kyrie shrugged her shoulders before setting the empty cup down. “It was just a joke. Wanna dance?” she asked.
I nodded, though it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I could spin her around as I took stock of our surroundings.
Across the room, I saw Valerie, and she waved, as if the scene outside the café just hours earlier had never happened. Her eyes seemed vacant as she looked away.
Beside her stood the Deacon, his long hair in a ponytail, his face tilted toward Valerie’s. He spoke into her ear, and she looked at me again, lost in whatever he said.
I placed my hands on Kyrie’s waist as we swayed.
“I’m glad we came,” she said, playing with the collar of my shirt.
“Me too. I only have a year and a half left of high school. I want every experience I can get,” I said. It was true. I wanted to experience everything I could. I craved it. And whenever it felt like life was spiraling into the horror of the past, I clutched to ordinary thrills even tighter.
The title to my new truck in my coat pocket.
My friends around me.
The promise of the night.
It all felt like it could float away, be burned from my hands.
Nothing about the night felt normal, if I let myself be honest with myself. I felt as though I were on the edge a cliff, ready to tip over the edge. And if I was falling, I wanted one person with me. I didn’t want to be swaying with Kyrie. I wanted to be close to Sorina, to have her whisper her vague stories into my ear, pull me close.
I wanted to undress her, pretend I was in a dream, and that she would never let me wake up.
I looked down into Kyrie’s eyes, and she smiled. “Who are you looking for?”
I smiled, grateful my friend knew me, even if she didn’t know who I was searching for. “Sorina. I doubt it she’ll show up, though. I think she may have left town.”
Kyrie surprised me when she answered. “I’m sure you would have seen moving trucks at her house if she left.”
I blinked, and a question hung between us.You didn’t forget her?I pushed it away. “I think if she wanted to leave, no one would know. No one could stop her.”
Kyrie nodded, looking down. “You’re in love with the girl next door. That’s a normal thing. An ordinary thing. It’s what you want, right? What we both wanted for just one night.”
I shook my head and closed my eyes.Not if she isn’t a girl, if she isn’t … normal.“Not if she doesn’t love me too,” I said.
Kyrie didn’t argue, couldn’t. Then she looked over at the bleachers, her eyes on Nicole. She pulled one arm from my neck, and I saw the friendship bracelet there. I’d wanted her to make one for the rest of the group, and she hadn’t yet. But I saw her ease with the Clements grow. I saw the way she was opening up.
I wished Kyrie and Nicole could see what I saw when they looked at each other. I wished they would go to each other. But I didn’t understand it, didn’t see the big picture for them. Though I tried.
“You should ask her to dance,” I offered.
Kyrie’s eyes flew to me, and her face turned red. She glanced around the room, and I saw where they fell. Her parents were in the corner, talking to another group of parents. I had no idea they’d signed up to be chaperones.
Kyrie looked up at me, a sad smile on her face. “I can’t. And you know that.”
