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I dropped to my knees in the dirt and leaned down, and Diana stepped away as if to give me privacy as I brought my nose to the blood.
I should have been disgusted, but I closed my eyes and saw myself in a dream—a black wolf lapping at a creek, running red with blood.
I got closer, opened my mouth, and stuck my tongue out as the blood of my mind was left behind.
White light flashed behind my eyes, and I groaned as I heard the faint sound of Diana’s retreating footsteps, and I grew hungry, taking the dirt and blood into my mouth.
My body broke again, bent, and I grew large, ravenous. I licked it all up as my body grew and changed, and when I was done, I howled into the dark, into the gaping hole in the ceiling.
When the sound left my aching throat, I fell over, convulsing, eyes closed.
I saw Sorina, a young girl, walking into the woods. Before her stood a man, his hand outstretched.
In a flash, the image changed, and she was bent over a tree trunk as he raped her.
Her eyes were closed.
Her tears were streaming.
Flash.
Her mother was angry, begging her to tell her who did it, who she was with.
Flash.
Sorina on the streets, belly large, homeless, a runaway.
Flash.
A baby boy in her arms, ripped away, a blind man flying into the night with her child.
Flash.
Sorina was older; another woman held her and rocked her. It was Diana. The rain pelted them.
Flash.
Sorina with a man, dark hair, their hungry bodies clinging together.
Flash.
His lifeless animal body, the Deacon standing over it. Sorina in a pool of blood, her lover dead, her daughter gone.
I saw myself then, young, in California at the ranch, and Sorina in the woods, watching me, sneaking into my room.
She’d known me before I knew her.
I saw her sneak into my bedroom at the trailer. Climb under my covers, our bodies wrapped around each other.
I felt her heart swell with it, with her longing for me.
Love. Love for me. Jealousy mixed with desire as she saw me with the girls.
I saw us in the pool, my tongue on her skin, her hand wrapped around me. The beating of her heart when I looked into her eyes.
Love. Love. Love.
Fear and love wrapped together, love devouring fear, fear consuming hurt.
