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Kyrie rolled her eyes, glancing back at our classmates. “You shouldn’t hang out with William Clement.”
“Why? Because he smokes weed?” I asked, smirking.
She whispered-yelled, “He’s a drug dealer!”
“Aren’t you supposed to be all nonjudgmental and nice and shit?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Kyrie scooted closer to me. “I’m being nice and watching out for you. My friend.”
Though I’d kept Billy at arm’s length, I liked him and our nightly chats about nothing. Every conversation in my life seemed to be fraught with riddles and resentment. Sorina and Valerie brought out varying shades of dark in me. And spending time with Billy was something I enjoyed. “Well, he seems nice. Smoking doesn’t make him a degenerate. If you think that, then why are you friends with me? I smoke, so what? I smoked with Sorina, but maybe you don’t need another reason to dislike her.”
Kyrie moved closer again. “I’m not trying to be judgmental.”
I leaned away. “You don’t like how people look at you and the assumptions they make because you’re a pastor’s daughter. Well, you shouldn’t make the ones you make. What are people who live in trailer parks, bad people? I’m sorry, as you know, I grew up on a ranch. I don’t know all this cool society class shit. Is he a bad person because he does drugs? Well, I do too.” I was getting angry and defensive over a strange girl who kissed me and threw me out of her house weeks ago and some guy I met in the trailer park and had a few smokes with. Kyrie had been a good friend to me since the day I stepped foot in the school. I needed to give her some space to … be normal. But I was also protective of the other people in my life. However few.
Kyrie eyed me, shaking her head before she dropped her eyes. “No, I didn’t mean … I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’m not perfect. And that’s another thing people assume, and you’re using it on me, too. Sometimes I … I don’t know.”
I almost reached out, placing my hand on hers, but I didn’t. “No, it’s okay. I … I don’t know. Maybe we should talk to Billy and see what he knows if you think something is happening. See if it’s just a gut feeling, or maybe he’s seen something. Maybe he’s heard something from family. Has his family been here long?”
Kyrie nodded. “Ages. Like mine.”
“Well, maybe his family is a little more apt to speak frankly than yours.”
Kyrie glared at me, but then smiled. She knew her parents.
“Where could we meet after school? The Raven’s Nest?” I asked.
Kyrie smiled. “Yeah. But we might look suspicious.”
“Why?”
“Why would two high schoolers be hanging out with Billy Clement?” Her glare told me she knew why people would assume we were hanging out.
Drugs.
“He’s only nineteen,” I reasoned. “And he lives in the trailer park with me.”
“It’s going to look weird.”
“Well, if you stop dressing like Mary Poppins, it may not,” I joked.
Kyrie looked down at her dress and smoothed out a crease. “Fuck off.”
My eyes grew wide, practically bugging out of my head. “I’m sorry, what?”
She looked me in the eye, half a smile, half a frown. “You heard me.”
I laughed loudly, and a few theatre students looked back at us. I mouthed a “Sorry” and watched Kyrie blush. She was pretty, smart, a good friend—everything some high school kid should want. But I felt nothing, not in that way, and it made me hurt. Liking Kyrie would feel normal, right?
Nothing about me felt normal or right.
I wanted the girl next door, and she didn’t want me anymore.
If she ever did.
* * *
Two days later, we all walked into the Raven’s Nest looking like a bunch of suspicious assholes. We didn’t fit together. Not even in the slightest, but we found a booth in the back, ignoring stares from the staff when we ordered, and the customers as we passed them.
