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I wanted to do what she said. To live a normal life. The kind of shit I read about in books or watched on the TV shows I caught after school sometimes. I wanted to sink into a blissfully ordinary life, but the wolf was at the doorstep.Mydoorstep. All of my ominous wonderings and nightmares led to him—the winged beast of my dreams, the savior Markus had described on the ranch. The savior he said would take us all away to the promised land if we did what he said. Jesus Christ, the Vampire King.
What a fucking joke. What a fucking lunatic.
I swam backward, bringing the two of us to the pool’s edge. When my back hit the side, Sorina’s arms gripped the ledge, bringing her closer to me. I could feel her nipples on my chest, her breath at my ear. “I can teach you how to be normal. I’ve gotten good at pretending.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “You’re fucking awful at it. Everyone thinks you’re a freak.”
Sorina pulled away, but I felt her nip at my earlobe before she did. Her black eyes peered at me, and I let mine see everything. Her lips, her jaw, her neck. When my eyes landed on her small breasts, I thought I could hear her heart beating. I remembered the way they felt between my teeth, under my tongue.
“Do you want to be a freak, too? I can teach you that as well. Though, I think you’d be a quick study,” she teased.
She ground into me, and I think I growled. Something animalistic came from my throat, and the blue of her eyes glinted in the light. I saw recognition there. She knew what it was; I didn’t though. Not yet. I thought I saw fear, arousal, and a sad acceptance. None of it made sense.
“I’m sorry about what happened to you, Nicholas,” Sorina said, low, almost apologetic. “My hands can hurt, but they won’t hurt you,” she whispered, trailing her fingers down my neck, to my chest, thumb grazing my nipple, then she gripped my ribs.
“Do you want to play a game with me again?”
I closed my eyes and saw a fleeting shadow on her face, an upside-down cross, an omen.
When I opened my eyes, I nodded. “Yeah,” I groaned. Let’s play.”
She dove beneath the surface, gripping me, taking me in her mouth with no preamble, no warning as I closed my eyes and prayed my mind would stay there in the present—stay on her.
A strangled moan escaped my lips, unabashed, and I felt safe in the open, where no one could hear me, watch, hold me captive. I didn’t expect it to last long with Sorina under the surface, but she stayed submerged. Her hands gripped my base, her throat taking me in. I clutched the side of the pool, head falling back, hips surging forward, but in a flash, my mind broke—taking me back to when everything was taken from me. I opened my eyes, the present flashing to me as I reached below, grabbing Sorina’s ponytail, pulling her to the surface.
She wiped her eyes, streaks of black across her cheeks, and my name,Nicholas, fell from her mouth in a question, as I pulled her close and kissed her hard.
It was still a lesson, and I felt unsure, but my mouth moved knowingly. My tongue swirled with hers, and when I pulled her flush against me, she pressed her center to my hard lines. Her hands gripped my hips, the dips and bone, the muscles that seemed to become more defined every day. When I pulled away, I pressed my forehead to hers. “I want to … I want nothing done to me.” I didn’t wonder if she would understand my words. She understood everything—my silences, my pauses, my body language.
She reached up and wrapped her hand around the back of my neck. “There istoyou, andforyou. One day you will feel the difference, feel the heart behind the hands. With the right person.”
I didn’t argue that shewasthat person. That she was what I needed. I simply wanted to bring sounds from her mouth, fall into the game again in some way, so I pulled her from the water, small frame, pale skin under the light. I spun around and placed her on the edge, and her hands on my shoulders fell away as she fell back, knowing what I wanted to taste, to touch.
The air was chilly, and our bodies mirrored the night, but I wanted the cold. I felt warm all over, like I could scorch the water, make it steam as I pressed against Sorina’s thighs, spreading her legs. I stared at the sliver of black silk covering her, saw that she was swollen around it, flushed red. I thought I could hear her heart beating, but I wasn’t sure what was real anymore.
I locked my hands around her thighs, pulling her closer, hearing the rough sound of her flesh dragging along the concrete, though she didn’t let out a cry, didn’t protest. All she did was reach up, cup her breast. I hoped it was all real, not for show after my anger on the stage when she was silent, making me feel like I was one of them—one who takes.
Pushing the past away, I focused on what her mouth and done to me, the swirl of her tongue, the graze of her teeth. It should have frightened me, with remnants of my dreams on the edges of my memories, but it didn’t. My chest ached and dreams and wants blurred. I imagined Sorina running into the woods, her sheer black dress, me in pursuit.
It made me hungry; it made me alive. I pulled the small fabric to the side, exposing her to the chilly night. She arched off the ledge, and I moved closer, inhaling her, moaning. I felt like an animal ready to feast. I closed my eyes, inhaled, and breathed out a hot breath.
I thought I heard my name again.
I couldn’t be sure, and the only thing Iwassure of was that I wanted to do somethingforher, as she’d said. I wanted to practice on her what I wanted her to do in return. So I lost myself in her body, licking, sucking, pressing my fingers to her slick wetness, listening when her hand on my wrist told me what to do. She clenched around my fingers as I worked her, clutched herself as I stared on in amazement. When did a teenage boy have the dark goddess from his dreams before him?
Never.
Now.
Forever.
I crawled out of the pool, my wet body covering hers. And though I wanted to bury myself in her, I was afraid of her—afraid of myself. Afraid I would break open and she would see me for the boy they hurt, not the man I was becoming.
Sorina looked into my eyes, her own almost black, and I saw a red circle in her eyes, two reflections. I blinked, and it was gone as she pushed my shoulder down, climbing on top of me.
She tugged at my boxers, and that’s when everything stopped. The night blinked, and the stars were ink for a moment, and I let out a breath that was more a cry than a plea.
Sorina stopped just as I grabbed her wrists. I push the blinking memories from my mind and kissed her with every broken piece of me to quiet my cry.
