AllFreeNovel
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If I was a better person, I would back off, let him reign in the last of his endorphins, but gosh dang it, dookie. I don’t think I have it in me today to be the better person.
“You want me to let you know after I get fucked and get pleasured so intensely that my whole body is numb from the earth-shattering orgasm?” I play this game better than anyone I know. I don’t know a lot of people, but I think I am hilarious.
Lad barely lifts an eyebrow at me.
“I will do that, if only to see you and remind me how lucky I am to not be another dead fish flopping around in your sea of many, many questionable catalogs of women who have seen you naked and truly thought they were receiving a gift from some divine deity.” I perk up a smile and turn his workbook to the correct page.
“I’m asking to switch partners.” Lad deadpans to my face.
“I hope you do, because for my safety, at this point, Lad. I am worried I might catch an STD from just interacting with you.” I lean forward, pretending to add worry into my voice, watching a few other students pass by us. “I don’t even know if they have antibiotics to get rid of ding-a-ling dick disease or entitled excrement ailment.” I give him an understanding nod and smile.
“Are you done?” Not one bit amused; maybe I am losing my touch.
“Yes, thank you for asking. I appreciate that.” I situate myself better in my seat as Lad produces this sad pout on his lips.
“You are seriously pouting when Mona was on her knees sucking your skin scepter, asshole? Have some appreciation for the woman who took time out of her busy schedule to lend you a hand, or in this case a mouth.” Because specifics matter here, people. The facts are what matters.
“Ugh...let’s get this shit over with.” Lad stands up and moves to the seat next to me.
Another round won.
“Hey, quick question do you think you are good enough to swim professionally? Like for the Olympics or something?” It’s the last one, I promise on our lunch lady’s third nipple.
“I was on the junior team last year. Do you not follow my success like everyone else around here?” Lad straightens out his arm and leans over to look at my notes.
God, I can’t believe he thinks I am being serious. I bite my lips together to hold back the laughter.
“Right, well, I just didn’t know. I mean you were fast just now with Mona, so I didn’t know if you were super-fast in all your other abilities or just certain ones.” I am writing down a word, could be my name, could be the outline of boobs as eyeballs. But I don’t know because I am so proud of myself for not bursting out in maniacal laughter.
“Jesus Christ, Alaska. Are you always a bitch or am I just the lucky bastard you picked as your victim today?” Poor, poor Aladden, I bet he wishes he could rub his magic lamp and ask his genie to make me disappear.
Now that I think about it…Aladden…rubbing magic lamp. Man, I am on a roll today with dick nicknames!
“Chill, you need to relax more.” Getting back to the topic at hand, our project for the term.
“I was trying to, but you ruined it.” Awe, still mad about it, I can tell.
“Don’t schedule your blowjobs during our project time, and we won’t have a problem, three for five.” I use air quotes to get my point across.
“Three for five?” But he doesn’t even bother trying to figure it out on his own.
“Yes, three pumps for five minutes.” Lad glares at me with a new hate. “It gets you there.” If my calculations are correct and they seem to be seeing as the steam blooming out his ears.
“Why were you staring at my dick?”
“You weren’t shy about hiding it. Why would I be shy about looking at it? It’s not anything special. You’ve seen other guys dicks, right? For comparison purposes.” Oh, what do you know my little doodle is a mountain with a little ski lift?
“Did it turn you on, you perv?” Wow, that one hit hard, right into my third-grade ego.
“I’m the pervert? Are you serious? This is a public library, Aladden Lorenzo.” I spread my arms wide around us. “Besides it tilts to the sky a bit.” Back to the slopes of sunny days drawing. I smack my lips satisfied with the image.
“It does not,” Lad counters.
But I only shrug, not giving him more.
“Why do you live with your cousin, Alaska?” Lad’s voice is neutral, but I can’t trust it.
“I don’t live with her. I’m homeless.” It’s mostly true. I wiggle my eyebrows before ignoring the subject entirely, and he knows the right word to shut me up and study.
