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“I haven’t even finished that one.”
He placed the paper on the coffee table. “I don’t need one of myself. But I’d gladly take one of you or Mathew.”
At first that warmth that continued to make an appearance had driven her anxiety through the roof. But the more that she experienced it with Tristan, the more she looked forward to it. Being with Tristan was like she had been transported to another world where even breathing felt different. What was absolutely surprising was that Tristan didn’t even have to touch her to make it happen. He could give her a look or say something sweet, and all at once, it was there again.
Together they finished cleaning up. Side by side and not talking. That was something else she liked about him. He didn’t feel the incessant need to fill the void with unnecessary words. She hadn’t thought about it before, but that was something she had abhorred expecting in a relationship. Sometimes she simply liked to have her nose in a book or a quiet space to draw.
Her gaze locked onto Tristan’s a few times as they worked. When they were done, Tristan jerked his head toward the living room. “You want to stay for a little while? Or do you have to get back for something?”
Dianna shook her head. “I don’t have to get back for anything.” Unlike that morning, this time she didn’t want to leave. It felt like if she did, she’d be missing out on something.
Tristan held out his hand and tugged her toward the couch. “We could watch a movie, or you could draw some more.”
“Do you draw?”
He gave her a funny look. “Why do you ask?”
“I just figured that since Mathew enjoyed it, he probably got his interest from someone else.”
Slowly, he shook his head. “No. But now that you mention it, his mother liked drawing. They were only doodles, but that’s how she spent her time when she had to wait for something.” The tone of his voice shifted. She was getting better at reading him, and bringing up his ex wasn’t something he liked to do. Great. She probably destroyed all the progress they’d made.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured as he pulled her to sit beside him.
“Whatever for?”
“I know you don’t like talking about her.”
He draped his arm around her. It only felt natural to rest her head against his shoulder. His fingertips trailed up and down her arm and he didn’t speak for a few moments, making it clear she was right in her assumption. Finally, he put words to what must have been on his mind. “It’s not that I don’t like talking about her. She’ll always be a part of my life—one that has shaped who I am and who Mathew is.”
“But it was a time that caused pain.”
“Sure, but those moments are still meant to help us grow. It’s why I push Mathew so much. I know it’s hard, but I also know he’s capable of being what I know he needs to be.”
She couldn’t help it. That statement left a sour taste in her mouth. It wasn’t up to Tristan to decide what Mathew should and shouldn’t be. Tristan needed to guide his son, but he couldn’t force Mathew to be something he wasn’t destined for. She had a firm belief that every individual person had something special to add to this world.
But Mathew was young. He still needed that guidance and his father was doing a pretty good job at it, even if he was a little misguided. His love for his son couldn’t be questioned, and that was more important than anything.
Dianna didn’t know how, but she knew that Tristan would continue to grow just as Mathew did. They were both going to be okay.
“Does Mathew ask about her?”
Tristan went silent once more. Had that question been off-limits? Probably. Even though he said he didn’t mind talking about her, it was clear he did.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s fine.” His voice was strained. “He’s been asking about her a lot more recently, but I think it’s only because he feels like there’s something missing in our family.” His arm tightened around her. “His classmates at school have two parents. It’s only natural for him to wonder if she’ll come back into his life or get replaced.” He grimaced. “I’m sorry, that probably sounded a little heartless.”
“I don’t think it sounds heartless at all. You said she left when he was really little. She hasn’t raised him. You’ve done that all on your own.” She shifted so she could see his face better. “You can’t replace something that was never there to begin with.”
“But you can fill a void that should have been full in the first place.” He gave her a pointed look that fueled the fire within her. He couldn’t be suggesting that she was the one who could fill that emptiness, could he?
Every thought that ran through her mind told her she should push him away, tell him he was just moving too fast.
But her conversation with her sister had seemed to flip a switch. She’d spent nearly every single day with this family since their arrival. She’d seen good and bad, and she knew what she’d be getting herself into.
The fact that Tristan might actually want to invite her to be part of this wonderful family only spurred a sensation of excitement. She offered him a small smile. “You make a good point.”
21
