AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You can’t know that.”
“Dianna.” The hurt in his voice made her flinch. Just one more thing to feel guilty over. She’d made more than her fair share of mistakes, and she’d be paying for them dearly.
She took in a long, slow breath and let it out through pursed lips. “I’ve had a lot of time to think this over—this you and me thing.” She fidgeted under his scrutiny. Why did this conversation feel so much harder than just resigning to stay in the relationship?
“What about you and me?” His voice softened though there was still an underlying tone of concern.
Dianna blew out a long breath and squeezed her eyes shut to ward off the strange sensations swirling in her stomach. These weren’t normal. While pleasant, she couldn’t ignore what her head had been telling her this whole time. A relationship right now wasn’t going to work. Not with Tristan, not with anyone. His closeness made her want to wrap herself up in his arms and tell him to make her believe they could work. But that was her traitorous heart speaking. She knew better.
Didn’t she?
Tristan’s hand touched her chin. Her eyes flew open, finding his concerned gaze locked onto her. She could do this.
Dianna reached up and pulled his hand down to his side. “I don’t think this is working.”
Immediately his features tightened and he took a step back. “What?”
She swallowed hard, the lump in her throat constricting her so much she wondered if she was making the right decision. “I’ve had a long time to think about this, and I’ve realized I’m not ready.”
“Not ready for what?”
A heavy sigh burst from her chest. “I’m not ready to fall in love. I told you this in the beginning. I don’t even know if I want to have a relationship. I’m a mess, and the only thing that makes sense right now is for me to take a step back.”
His brows creased and he rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re not ready to fall in love.”
“That’s what I said,” she muttered with exasperation. Why wasn’t he listening to her? He’d been able to do so before.
“And you’re not sure you want to be with me.” His gaze flitted up to meet hers, cutting her off before she could add to their discussion. “I’m just trying to piece everything together.” His hands dropped to his sides and he cocked his head slightly. “But you do have feelings for me.”
“I don’t know how that has anything to do with what I’m trying to tell you.”
“And you care about Mathew.”
“Of course. But—”
“Then we’re not breaking up.”
“What?” She gaped at him. He wasn’t allowed to do that, was he?
Tristan shrugged. “We’re not breaking up.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. A relationship takestwopeople. If one of them wants out, it’s dissolved. You can’t just say you’re going to keep on dating someone if they don’t want to anymore. That’s not how this works.” Her heart rattled in her chest angrily while her stomach knotted deliciously.
He shoved his hands in his pockets, no trace of teasing in his expression. He was being absolutely serious. “From what I see, youarein love even if you don’t want to be. Plus, you care about Mathew. Those are the only things necessary for us to be able to make this work.”
“But—” she sputtered. “But I don’twant—”
“I get that. Truly, Dianna, I hear you. But what you don’t seem to understand is that Iknowyou care about me. I’ve experienced your love. From your touch to the way you look at me. And I love you with all my heart. You can try to scare me off. You can push me away, but I am willing to wait as long as it takes. I’ll give you space if you need it. But every now and again I’ll keep calling, visiting, and asking you out.”
“And I’m going to say no.”
He winced, and that guilt slithered back into her stomach, replacing the pleasant feelings that continued to throw her off balance and make her question everything.
“Let me ask you something, Dianna.” He pulled out his hand and rubbed his finger and thumb together as if he needed to get something off them, but she’d seen this tactic before. He was having a hard time with this discussion, too. And if she was right about that, why was he so insistent on staying? Two miserable people shouldn’t stay together.
“What do you want to ask me?” she rasped, hating the way her heart continued its acrobatics.
He glanced up at her and offered a sad smile. “Are you trying to break up with me because you truly don’t want to be with me? Or because you’re scared?”
