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He moved his hand, placing it over hers, and she lifted her large, innocent eyes to meet his. “You know what? That doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. People should be able to stick up for what they want without feeling guilty about it.”
She stiffened, though he couldn’t tell whether it was due to him holding her hand or the words he’d said. Speaking to Dianna now was utterly terrifying. What he wouldn’t give to know what was going on in her head at this very moment.
He needed to start with the basics—ease into it.
“You look pretty tonight.”
“Thank you.” She took a peek at him out of the corner of her eye. “You clean up nice, too.”
He chuckled. “Do you ever get the feeling that we never really get past that awkward stage from when we were teenagers?”
A wry smile touched her lips. “Somehow I think my childhood differed from yours by a great deal.”
“You’re probably right.” Tristan shifted his focus to the vast property that surrounded the building. It wasn’t better than taking in her beauty, but looking at her did a number on his nerves and he needed to be on his A-game. “When I was a teenager, the most important thing was finding a date to prom.”
“Yeah. I can’t say I had a similar experience.”
He looked toward her. “No, I don’t suppose you did.” He took a chance and wrapped his fingers around hers. If she didn’t pull away, he’d continue. Tristan waited for what felt like an endless moment, but Dianna didn’t move. Maybe that was a sign for him to keep going, or maybe it was just wishful thinking.
“Anyway, the hardest part about any of that was asking the girl to go to the dance—especially the first year.” He chuckled, but the sound was strained. His focus remained on their hands. It felt surreal to be here again, close to her, talking quietly and holding her. He had to force himself to get back to the subject at hand. “There was nothing worse than being turned down by the girl of your dreams.”
Inwardly, Tristan grimaced. He probably shouldn’t have said it that way. Dianna might interpret his statement the wrong way. He didn’t blame her at all. When he glanced in her direction, he’d expected her to be upset, but instead she looked thoughtful. Her eyes flitted to meet his and she gave him a small smile.
“I suppose I never thought about that side of things.”
“How do you do that?” he blurted the question, effectively destroying the ambiance.
“What do you mean?”
“How do you manage to surprise me at every turn?”
Her cheeks warmed and she looked away. “You don’t have to say those things to me. I haven’t been all that great to you lately.”
His brows creased and he faced her, taking both of her hands in his own. “How can you say that? I think you’re amazing.” When she didn’t look up, he tipped his head, angling it so she didn’t have much of a choice but to drag her gaze to meet his. “Despite everything that has happened, you have stuck around. You continue working with Mathew. You’re there for me. Do you realize how much I respect you for that?”
She didn’t answer. But at least she was still looking at him.
“I mean it. There is so much about you that I admire. I don’t know if you ever realized this, but there are no simple reasons why I fell in love with you.” Here it went. He was going in deep with this one. There was no turning back, even if he wanted to. Tristan only prayed he was making the right choice and that telling her this would only help their relationship get back on the right track.
Tristan let out a heavy sigh. “Yes, I love certain things about you. Like the sound of your laugh and the way you make me feel when you smile at me. But my feelings go so much deeper.”
“But we still barely know one another.”
He gave her a crooked smile. “And there’s the irony, I suppose. I figured I would never find someone I wanted to bring into Mathew’s life after Erika left. I didn’t think anyone would be able to care for the two of us, let alone handle the ups and downs we deal with when it comes to Mathew’s… quirks.” Tristan chuckled. “To be clear, my feelings for you don’t hinge on how good you are with him either. While you seem to be the ‘Mathew Whisperer,’ that’s a very small part.”
How could he bring up every single thing without making her feel like he was putting her on the spot? Ultimately, he needed to assure her that her feelings mattered too, and he wasn’t going to push her into something she wasn’t ready for.
He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from speaking. He needed to know she wanted to join the conversation at hand.
When she didn’t talk right away, his heart stuttered. He hadn’t given her enough space or time. Hadn’t he told himself that was the most important thing right now if he wanted to get her back? He’d done it again. He’d messed up an opportunity that God had seen fit to place at his feet. How could he have squandered something so wonderful? He tore his focus from her. Hopefully, she wouldn’t see the disappointment he suffered with. If he was lucky, she would also miss the desperation in his eyes he was sure had been brought to the surface.
“Are you sure?”
Tristan’s head snapped up and he studied Dianna hard. “Am I sure about what?”
“All that stuff you just said. How do you know?”
A sad laugh bubbled from his chest and he tightened his grasp on her. “You forget I’ve been around the block before. I know what I want, and that’s you.”
