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I paused. That wasn’t something I ever thought about. I wasn’t sure why. With his question, now I gave it serious consideration. Would we have been closer, forced to rely on each other because we would either have lived with my junkie mother or his negligent aunt? Or would we have hated each other because our lives would have sucked so hard?
“I prefer the way things are now,” I eventually answered.
“Why?” He stopped eating and glanced at me with genuine curiosity.
Taking a drink of water, I used the time to figure out how I wanted to say this. “My childhood was bad. I watched my mother do drugs, run men through the house, and I spent more time cleaning up after her than I want to admit. I wouldn’t want that for you.” His brows pulled down and he looked as if he was gearing up for an argument, but I plowed on. “I know your childhood wasn’t any better, I’m not comparing us like that. The memories we’ve made the last several months, yeah, some of them have been tough, but mostly, they’ve been happy. I prefer those memories rather than us having bonded over traumatic experiences. Don’t you?”
That shut him up. I almost grinned, but I’d keep the small victory to myself. It wasn’t often anyone stumped Jonah.
“Okay, I see your point, but it would have been nice to have a brother growing up.”
“You have a brother now. And call me weird, but I love the group thing we have going on. There’s no telling we would have wanted to be a part of this kind of dynamic if we’d grown up together. At least not in the same group. I could have seen you as an annoying nuisance.”
He laughed. “I’m pretty sure you do see me like that most of the time.”
I joined him, enjoying the way laughing lifted my mood. “Yeah, maybe. But we’re friends now. Not just brothers.”
Nodding, he turned back to the TV. Even from the side, I could make out the moisture in his eyes. Yeah, I loved him. He was my brother, and our relationship was different than what it could have been, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.
After I finished my dinner and took my dishes to the kitchen—yes, I worked to be cleaner knowing I had Astrid in my life—I settled back on the couch and scrolled through TikTok.
Liking and returning comments was a full-time job all on its own. Good thing I had Astrid to split the workload with me. If it were just me, I’d probably ignore everyone and just post. She had been adamant that I needed to interact with people, and she had been right. When I commented most times, I got follows. That wasn’t taking into account how my interactions on my posts boosted the algorithm.
Once I was done with that portion of tonight’s assignment, I switched over to the messages to review the ones that had come in today. Most were women trying to hit on me with lame pickup lines.
I’ll be your pretty girl.
Make a song about me!
You look hot bent over a car, but I’d look hotter.
That message pissed me off. Yeah, fuck you too bitch. Even though all the videos had been taken down of the night I gloriously fucked up…or one of my glorious fuckups, once something was out there, it was there forever. And this bitch had watched it.
Block.
What I didn’t do was delete any of the messages. I let Astrid do that. These women were shameless as much as they were relentless, and I never wanted Astrid to believe I was keeping anything from her. So let her read and delete them as she saw necessary.
A message came through while I was in the app, and I stared at it, too shocked to click in. But the blue mark meant this was a true verified account, and one of the biggest TikTokers that I followed.
Holy shit.
Anticipation sizzled through my body making my hands shake. This was not unlike the feeling I had before my first date with Astrid, only this was a dude and career related.
And he got millions of views each video.
A strange laugh popped out of my mouth as I clicked in the message.
Hey Beck! Cool to meet you. I love watching your videos. You’re one hell of a singer. I’ll be in Denver this weekend. What do you say about meeting up for a collab?
Holyfuckingshit. I couldn’t believe it.
Jonah nudged my knee, but I couldn’t talk to him right now. Instead, I called Astrid. It rang three times before her sweet voice traveled through the phone.
“Hey,” she greeted, happy to hear from me. It wasn’t lost on me how lucky I was given that whole fiasco over the holidays.
God, I loved this girl.
“Pretty Girl. I got an invite to collab. Go check it out. I need you to respond so I don’t sound like an idiot. This one is possible because he’s going to be in Denver.” I was rambling, but I couldn’t stop. I was too fucking excited.
