Page 67 of Brittle Hope


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I wasn’t even sure why I picked up in the first place. Curiosity? Misplaced nostalgia?

Today, he was a shell of the man he’d once been. He’d lost a good fifteen pounds. His face was sallow, and his hair was in disarray when he’d always had it neatly combed before. Even his clothes were wrinkled, but that could have been because Mother Dearest had left, and he was forced to do his own laundry.

“Astrid,” he said in a tone that was every bit as forbidding and distant as he had always been.

He hadn’t been a bad parent like Mother Dearest. But he’d been neglectful, unloving, uncaring. The opinions of the church had meant more to him than my own fleeting happiness had. My father was the epitome of a narrow-minded hypocrite.

“Dad.” I stopped about ten feet away from where he stood by my driver’s side door.

“You haven’t answered any of my calls.” He straightened his shoulders like he could suddenly compose himself back to his former glory.

But students lingering in the quickly emptying parking lot were starting to stare. He’d never attended any of the school conferences, even before we moved here, so I doubted they recognized him, unless their family attended his church. Those students, they’d see as exactly what it was, a hostile conversation. His body language, and mine, said it all.

“I did, but you didn’t want to talk to me. You wanted me to have Rhys pass messages to his dad. Then when you’d call, I couldn’t understand anything out of your mouth because you slurred so badly.” I gripped the strap of my boho bag, hitching it higher on my shoulder.

He pressed his lips together, his ruddy cheeks puffing slightly. “Sometimes, life takes a turn and we don’t handle it well. Unfortunately, that happened to me and…” He raked a hand through his thinning hair. “I’ve had too many changes this year, too many things go wrong. I didn’t handle it well. I…” His gaze switched between each of my eyes as he took a few steps closer.

Jonah and Rhys both pressed up against my back on either side of me. If Dad thought it was odd that they both were so close, he didn’t mention it. He didn’t even blink.

“Astrid, I’m just going to come out and say it. I was placed on administrative leave from the church.” He winced, like it physically hurt him to say that.

“Okay…” I was sympathetic. Kind of. It was the one thing in life he’d actually valued, and he was potentially going to lose it. But he hadn’t been in my life for months.

“That means,” he slowed his words, as if he thought I needed him to enunciate every sound. “The college money you were promised, I don’t have access to it anymore. The car loan I have out for you, it’s going to be repossessed if I don’t start working soon. Your phone? It’s going to be disconnected.”

My heart stopped as I pressed my fingers to my lips, breaking eye contact with him.

How had I not realized?

“You have to help me get in touch with Stan. He’ll help. He already thinks of you like a daughter since you’re dating Rhys.”

Gross. I couldn’t hide the grimace crawling over my face. I’d spoken barely a handful of unimportant words to Rhys’ dad. He didn’t know me. He had an affair with my father and any kind feelings he might have for me was an extension of that relationship. It wasn’t real.

“Don’t you care about your future? Stan will help us.” He started to reach for my shoulders, but Rhys put his hand out to stop him. After a quick flick of his gaze to Rhys, he swallowed, then looked back at me.

“I don’t care.” I shook my head, taking an unconscious step back. Why was I backing away? I didn’t have anything to be afraid of anymore. This man didn’t have any say over my life.

Although, he had. He’d been paying my car insurance, my car payment, my phone. I had already secured my scholarship, so I didn’t need the church’s money. But he’d still been supporting me in a way. How could I have let him do that? When I wanted nothing to do with him, I shouldn’t have been accepting his money.

Some might see it as owing that to me as his child, but I didn’t.

I didn’t want him to have anything to hold over my head. That changed, starting now.

“I have a scholarship. I have a job, and I’ve been saving money. I’ll take over everything. Just give me a few days to sort it out.” I’d have Thatcher help me. Or Beck. They’d both been handling their own finances for a few years and would know what I needed to do.

“That’s not the point, Astrid. What about me? I’ll lose the house if they don’t reinstate me. It’s property of the church,” he wailed. His red eyes uncharacteristically misting over.

Surprisingly, seeing him this way hit something in my chest. It wasn’t pain for him, it was more of an awkward and uncomfortable pang, because he’d never shown this side to me before. I wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced anything like this. “You’re an adult. You’re not my responsibility.”

Jonah draped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I gladly took the comfort.

“I raised you. Clothed you, fed you. I am still supporting you!” His upset changed to indignation as his back shot straight up.

"I’m sorry you had to do that. I didn’t ask to be born. I certainly am not asking you for anything else.” A crowd was starting to gather around us, a few phones appeared. The intense attention should have made me nervous, but instead, I was just done. In a calm, steady voice, I continued. “Holding those things over my head when you’ve never been any kind of father to me at all is not fair, and it’s not right. I don’t care that the Bible says you should honor your parents. Respect is given before it’s earned, and you never respected me. You ignored me, left me at the hands of an abusive mother, and disregarded everything I wanted for myself. I’m sorry you feel you have some right to my life, to my decisions. You don’t. I’ll get everything switched over and you won’t have to see me again.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and stepped forward, slapping it into his limp hand. His fingers closed around it seconds before I let go.

“Ms. Scott, is everything okay here?” Mrs. Gold pushed through the crowd, surveying us and my dad with a concerned eye.

“It is now.” I reached up and tangled my fingers with Jonah’s, giving him a squeeze, letting him know I was more than okay with what happened.

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