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“Aye. Indeed, I did,” he replies. “But I’m not at all shocked. He is a bold blasphemer. We heard his deceit with our own ears, and now everyone else as well.”
“We did,” I agree with him, “but there is more I haven’t shared with you, and after the events from today, I fear what my future my hold.”
His hands tighten around mine. “Your future? I don’t understand.”
It’s hard for me to continue speaking, images of the hurt and concern in his eyes haunting deep within my soul, although a confession has barely been made. I never want Jordy to believe me deceitful, to think that I would keep something from him to hurt him in any manner. But I know he’ll understand when I divulge my truth, so I’ll tell it and pray he hears it with his heart and not his head.
“I didn’t tell you the day it happened because I thought his rantings were that of a madman, but the same knight, Sir Victor, he approached me two morrows ago. He knew my name, and said that he knows who I really am.”
“Who you really are?” Jordy says under his breath. “What does that mean, Milla? I pray you forgive me, but I am lost to these words. I fear I do not understand.”
“I have told you how I have no idea of my lineage, how Gram has kept that knowledge a secret my entire life. Well, this Sir Victor, he called me by name and said he knows my lineage, and that it will change Timberness as we know it when it is revealed. He said I am more than my station in this world. He wanted me to go with him somewhere safe so he could share his knowledge with me, but the guards caught up with him and arrested him before he could say more. I watched the guards drag him away. I feared when I heard the trumpet blasts this day that it would be Victor on those gallows. And aye, it was.”
Jordy is silent at first, obviously considering my confession. “This sounds like tomfoolery,” he finally says. “Surely you know how this sounds, Milla.”
I do know how it sounds, but I also know that Jordy has parents, and grandparents, and a family tree with roots so deep, not even the devil himself could uproot it. I have but a single leaf, one perfect leaf to call my own in this wretched world. And when that leaf withers and dies, I will not possess as much as a twig. Jordy doesn’t know that feeling, and I thank the gods for it.
“I know, Jordy, but don’t you think it could be possible? Do you think I could be someone of importance? Maybe my gram has kept my lineage a secret all these years because she had to. Could it be that she was protecting me from someone?”
Jordy cups my cheek and pushes aside a stray hair that has escaped my bonnet. I can tell he’s holding back. He has more to say but is choosing his wording delicately. I brace myself when his lips part.
“Milla, one of the qualities I admire most in you is your ability to dream, to make wishes and holdfast to the belief that those wishes will come true. I will not go so far as to say that this knight’s claims could not possibly hold any validity, but it is almost too incredible to believe. You have to see that, right?”
I do see it, but it still hurts to hear the doubt in Jordy’s voice. “Well, if his claims have no truth, then how did he know my name?”
Jordy places a kiss on the top of my hand before speaking. “Milla, you are the match girl. Do you know how easy it would be to learn your name, how many people in the market would tell him your name if he pointed you out? I honestly believe that this Sir Victor is simply a defector and was saying anything to have you go with him. I am certain he had impure intentions with you, and he was scheming to have you. I know I am being blunt, but it is the only way to tell you what I believe. I’m sorry if it sounds harsh, but you cannot put stock into a rogue’s words, Milla. You are only hurting yourself by doing so.”
What hurts is the way he’s looking at me, like I’m a fool for believing that the knight’s words could be true. Like all I’m good for is to be a knight’s conquest.
“So, you think I’m not made for greatness?” My voice is a little louder than I’d like it to be. “You can’t believe, even in the slightest measurement, that Sir Victor’s words for me could be true?”
Jordy swallows hard but speaks no words.
I stand and head toward the street. “I think I shall go. People may be frightened by the day’s events, but they still need warmth. I can at least offer them that…if nothing else.”
“Milla, wait.” Jordy takes me by the hand. “I love that you are a dreamer, that you have a fire in you that searches for your family line. I know you feel that you are more than what this life has afforded you, but you do so much for so many already. You are kind and strong. You have a good heart, Milla. Everyone adores you. That has to count for something. Now come, let me walk you home. I wish to keep you safe amid this chaos. And I do not want you running into Malek on these streets alone if he arrives.”
I know what he’s trying to do, but my heart is aching and the tears I feel behind my eyes won’t stay contained much longer.
“I will see you on the morrow, Jordy. I’ll be fine. I’m used to walking these streets alone, remember? I am the match girl, after all.”
“Milla, wait!”
I turn my back on him and put a hand in the air. The tears are sliding down my face before I even round the corner. Jordy believes me a fool, and maybe I am.
I’ve never felt more foolish in my life.
CHAPTER 13
Having Jordy doubt that I could ever hold any greatness wasn’t what I had expected when I told him about Sir Victor today. Honestly, I’m not sure what I expected, but crushing my soul most certainly wasn’t on the list. I keep telling myself not to be so hard on Jordy, but the ache in my heart isn’t listening. I keep thinking back to when Sir Malek challenged the blacksmith’s son for a duel. I was more than a little terrified that Jordy would join the fray. Not because I believed Jordy didn’t possess any greatness, but simply because I know exactly how great he is, honorable to a fault. I knew he would defend Philip, would never back down from a fight. I wish Jordy could see the greatness in me.
Gram has been sleeping since darkness fell. Her coughing was merciless but seems to have left her now. She barely touched the food I offered her earlier, and her hands and feet are cool to the touch, warmth not seeming to embrace them. But she still insists she’s fine. I know I should be resting, but I can’t seem to find sleep. My mind keeps drifting to the events of the day, Sir Victor escaping the noose and my revelation to Jordy that went so terribly wrong. But maybe Jordy’s right. Maybe Sir Victor did simply have impure thoughts and was trying to coax me to go with him. It would make more sense than him knowing my lineage. Maybe I was a fool to believe any portion of his words in the first place. I will apologize to Jordy come first light and try to push the knight’s words out of my head.
I remove my apron and hang it back on the peg when I finish the dishes. I stoke the fire and peek into the bedroom to check on Gram. She’s sleeping and her cough is quiet. I’m glad the cough is gone for now. I feel a little guilty, but it’s nice not to hear the heaving and hacking. They have become the most irritating sounds. I would never say it to Gram, but sometimes I step outside for fresh air simply not to hear the coughs.
A knock on the door startles me, and I hurry to open it. I don’t want Gram to awaken. It’s probably a patient I will have to turn away unless their ailment is within my expertise. I open the door to three knights, and Sir Malek is one of them.
My chest tightens, but I take a fortifying breath. “Yes, my lords, may I help you?”
