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“But she doesn’t even look afraid,” Moa countered. “When she came to me with this plan, she didn’t act like it scared her at all.”
“It scares her,” I admitted softly. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told her anything, but it felt important, especially given how much Moa meant to Hera. “I have a bond with her, and it means I can understand her at times, that I can see deeper than what she wants others to see, that I can glimpse what she hides. Hera is terrified. She’s afraid of failing, of losing people, of letting us down. She may hide it well, but do not think that she came here without any fears. In that way, I believe you two are more similar than you realize.”
She didn’t appear convinced but turned her attention toward the door. It made me realize finally why she made me nervous.
Moa had a connection to Hera outside of the one I had. Not in the same way she had a relationship with Brax or the others, but rather Moa knew a woman I didn’t. Moa had grown up around Hera, had known her when she was just herself, before Larkwood and the world had twisted her. Moa knew her in a way I never would, knew a part of her that would be forever hidden from me.
And I didn’t like that one bit. Perhaps it was my wendigo that made me feel so possessive, that wanted to own Hera entirely. I knew it, struggled against that need inside me, refused to give in to it, but that didn’t change how it annoyed me.
We entered the large open conference room to find plenty of shades there, milling around, their conversations whispered.
The relief that hit me made me realize just how worried I’d been about if anyone would show at all. Telling a group of understandably suspicious shades to meet someone in a secret location under the noses of the guards would be a hard sell. For all they knew, it was nothing more than a trap.
Every set of eyes in the room swung our way when we walked in, and seeing me, the level of tension in the room rose.
This is not a wonderful start.
Not that it shocked me. I wasn’t well-liked among the shades at Larkwood. Perhaps it would have been better for another to do this job, but I understood the reasons it had fallen to me. I was best able to protect Moa on my own, and I couldn’t move as easily amongst the rest of Larkwood unnoticed. It was best for me to remain out of sight until I was needed.
“What are you doing here?” one of the shades asked. A glance that way told me the name.
Despite what so many thought, I knew the names of those who stayed in Level 1. They rarely had a desire to be around me, to spend any time actually conversing with me, beyond what was required, but I still valued the information and made it a point to commit it to memory. I could offer most of them little, but I would remember their names through my long life.
This shade was Honor, a twelve-year-old girl who had been there for almost a year. She’d been quiet for the most part, drawing little attention from the guards or staff. As a shifter—a shade who could take the form of any animal—she would normally be watched far more carefully, but her psychological tests on intake had shown her to be timid and of low risk.
“We gathered you here because we have a plan,” I said, then nodded toward Moa. “This woman is involved with smuggling shades out of the country and out of harm’s way.”
“Are you planning some sort of escape?” another shade called out.
“That’s crazy,” came the response of another. A low level of anxiety ran through the shades in the room, murmuring as they whispered about how foolish such an idea would be. “You know what happened last time—how much we all suffered for nothing.”
Before I could keep speaking, Moa stepped forward. “It isn’t just about escaping.” At Moa’s voice, the whispers quieted. “I’ve helped a lot of shades, and a lot of them never made it. Even if I got them through where I was, if I passed them off to another person to help, they got caught. From doing this, I know that some shades who got away a decade before would get found and dragged back.”
“So what’s the point?” Honor asked, crossing her arms, not looking much like the pre-teen she should have been. “If it’s so hopeless, why take the risk?”
“We aren’t here to help you escape a broken system,” Moa told them, her hands drawn into tight fists. “We’re here to break the system. Instead of escaping Larkwood, our plan is to take it over.”
And that garnered another wave of whispers.
Still, Moa didn’t back down. She kept speaking, her voice gaining strength, her chin lifted. “The reason Larkwood has been able to keep control for so long is because no one tells humans the truth. They work together to hide it from us, to tell us stories to make us afraid of you.”
“And what do you plan to do about that?”
Moa reached into the bag slung over her shoulder, pulled out the small camera and held it up. “I’m here to give you all the chance to tell your truth, for you to stop letting other people control your stories.”
“What if the Warden sees this?” one of the older shades asked, her withered hand clutching a cane that she leaned against. “What happens to us when your big plan fails, and we pay the price? You’ll run away and we will be left here to face the consequences.”
Moa didn’t answer right away, but at least that showed she took the time to actually consider it. “This is dangerous—I won’t pretend like it isn’t. I can’t tell you what you should do, and anyone who wants to leave, can. You have to make that choice, to decide what it’s worth to you. This floor will be locked down, so that when everything starts, you won’t be in the line of fire. Even if you don’t want to help us, you can stay here until it’s over. The reality is that Larkwoodwillfall eventually, and you just have to decide whether you want to help it happen or not, whether you want to speak up or not.”
The shades in the room looked between each other, the tension thick and overbearing.
What would they say?
A part of me wanted to speak up, to add to what Moa had said, but I knew better. Even though I’d thought I’d accepted my place in Larkwood, it didn’t quite remove the sting. No matter how much I sacrificed and or how hard I tried, I’d never be looked at as anything but a threat.
The older woman peered around, and in her eyes I could see the years that had passed. I remembered when she’d arrived, when she’d been a young girl, so afraid of the world she’d been forced into. And in her eyes, I caught a glimpse of all the other’s she’d known over the years, the one who never made it to her age, who Larkwood had crushed.
Finally, she nodded, her hand tightening around the handle of her cane. “Okay. I’ll do it.”
