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I pictured eating dinner with my parents again, sitting and laughing with my friends, living free in the world without the fears I’d suffered through the last year. I could be normal.
But…as soon as I considered that, the picture drifted away.
I wasn’t the girl anymore. It wasn’t just the source in my blood or the scar on my throat that had changed—I’d changed as a person. I’d experienced the best and worst of people, had survived so much, that the idea of going back to that empty, pointless life was impossible.
It was like pouring a glass of water onto the sidewalk then trying to put it all back again. The water wouldn’t ever be the same, and it couldn’t go back to how it had been no matter how hard a person tried.
That was me.
Beyond the fact that I’d found things worth having—the men who I loved—I couldn’t pretend my world hadn’t been irrevocably altered, thatIhadn’t changed. It wasn’t about what was forced on me anymore, about what I had to endure because I didn’t have the choice.
Instead, as I stood there, I got to choose the path I wanted to take.
And somehow, that made it all the easier. I shook my head.
She sighed softly. “I think I expected that answer. I could do it anyway, but what would be the point? You’ve proven already what a problem you can be, so if you won’t accept my offer and go back to your perfect little life, then you’ll die here.”
“Warden?” came a voice over the radio. The Warden walked back to the doorway and reached out until a radio was placed in her hand.
“Yes?”
“We have a problem back at the main tower.”
“What sort of problem?”
“Kit, the wendigo—he’s here.”
“What do you meanhere?”
A chilling scream echoed through the radio, as if caught from somewhere around the person speaking. “I mean he is standing out front.”
The Warden turned back to look at me, her face pulled into tense lines. “It’s just one shade. Deal with it.”
“Do you want us to try to retake him?”
“No. All restrictions on lethal force are lifted. I’ve grown tired of this—it ends now.”
I took a step forward at her words, at the fear that swamped me, but stopped when the guards pointed their guns in my direction. They hadn’t had any luck with me yet, but it only took one bullet getting by to end this.
Except, the Warden shook her head. “You all, go reinforce the main tower. If Kit is here, I have a feeling we might just see a few other familiar faces.”
“What about her?” The guard gestured my way.
The Warden offered a chilling smile that made my stomach sink. “I believe the Corrander soldiers can handle her. It really is a pity that things had to go this way. If you only understood what was really out there, I think you could have made all the difference. I would have much rather had you as an ally than as an enemy.”
With that, she left, the guards also backing out. I went toward the door, but stopped as soon as someone else walked in.
Gerald, the dragon shifter, the ‘toy’ Lilianna had under her control. Not just him, though. One after another came in, the same vacant looks on their faces that said they couldn’t be talked to or reasoned with.
I’d survived them last time by dumb luck, by being in a place where I could take down the bridge. Here, though? In their territory, in a large lab with no exits, I didn’t stand a chance.
Which meant the best I could do was try to hold them off long enough to give the others a chance.
Please let that be enough.
Chapter Nineteen
Deacon
