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“I work practically attached to your brother, but even he doesn’t go that far.”
Just naming Evan makes me lose that little smile on my face.
“Give him time. He’ll get over it.”
“Easy for you to say. Tonight I’ll be on a plane to New York, and I’ll never see you again.”
“No, I say it because I know my brother, and he never forgets about the people he cares about. He needs to simmer down, but he’ll come back around to talk to you.” He beckons me to follow him to the shore, and we both sit looking at the ocean. I’m surprised to see him sit on the sand without feeling the need to protect the thousand-dollar suit.
“Did you just want to tell me this? You could have said it in my room.” I need to understand why he dragged me here; the wait is nerve-wracking.
“Doesn’t the idea of sleeping with my father disgust you? I ask because I’m guessing he wasn’t very nice to you. He never is with any woman.” There is no accusation or judgment in his tone, just simple curiosity.
I inhale deeply, and since it’s time to be honest, I decide to tell him the truth, leaving out the details of how terrified I was with his father’s hands on me.
“I’m a sugar baby.” I see the surprise on his face, but he doesn’t hint at saying anything. “I’m used to sleeping with men I don’t like. I’ve learned to remain detached from sex. For me, it’s only a means to achieve a goal. They can tell me what they want, treat me however they want, but I’m confident enough to not let anything they say get inside my head.” Although, with his father, my confidence faltered. That man is so sick that, for the first time, I felt really terrified at the idea of sleeping with someone.
He nods and continues to look at the ocean. “I can only imagine what my father may have told you.”
A sarcastic laugh escapes my lips. “I have no idea how your press office maintains a clean image of that man. Even more, I don’t understand how two decent sons could have come out of your family.”
The bitter smile on Aaron’s lips makes him look human, giving me a peek behind that impenetrable steel wall that surrounds him when he’s out in public.
“We weren’t raised by him or my mother. My parents have always been absent and, luckily, we had nannies who taught us what it meant to be loved.” His confession is very calm, almost devoid of feeling, as if it were something that happened to someone else, not to them.
“Is that why your brother pays escorts? Because he doesn’t know how to love?” I don’t know why I ask him this question, but I need to understand more about Evan. I need to see the other side of the coin to understand his behavior.
Aaron looks at me, intrigued. “No, I think it’s because my brother is too busy with his career to understand that what he’s looking for is right in front of him.”
I turn to him for an explanation, but when he doesn’t add anything else, I decide not to press him. This is not what I’m interested in knowing.
“Evan knows I’m a sugar baby. He never judged me for this choice. Why is it so difficult for him to understand that with your father, it’s the exact same thing?”
“Because my father made it his life’s mission to take away my brother’s happiness. Our mother is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Full of antidepressants—she swallows them with alcohol every day. Evan has always been the only one who, in some way, manages to make her smile. He is the dreamer, the sensitive one, who manages to get close to people not because they are intimidated by him but because he is genuinely a beautiful person. My father always hated it. He has always humiliated him, telling him he will never amount to anything, that he’s not man enough to grow some balls, and that everyone will take advantage of him. The truth is he’s jealous of how people treat him.”
“Okay, but what does this have to do with me? Your dad is an asshole, agreed, but Evan deals with people like that every day. This is nothing new.”
Aaron studies me, frowning. Then he looks back at the ocean and inhales deeply. “My father ruined everything Evan ever achieved on his own to teach him how to grow some balls. When he was eighteen, my brother dated a girl my father paid to leave him. She wasn’t the love of his life, but Evan realized that anything that was his, even the most personal things like relationships, our father could ruin. He got into Columbia, and my father had his application rejected because he wanted him to attend Stanford like the rest of the family. When Evan moved to New York anyway, he completely cut off his funds to make sure he’d return home. He hindered him in every way to not let him find a job, but when Evan met the Jailbirds, the record company recognized a talent too great to let slip away. At the time, I had friends working inside the label, and I did everything I could to make sure my father didn’t get his hands on that too. If he knew I’d helped him, he would cut me off from the empire he built. The trust fund is just the last of many things that man put his hand on to destroy Evan.”
I begin to understand why this betrayal is so serious for Evan, and I realize that nothing I do will ever make up for the damage. It’s not because I agreed to sleep with a man, but because that man is the one who took everything away from him and was taking me away too. I am part of that life his father never managed to contaminate. If I had slept with him, his filthy hands would have reached a part of Evan’s existence that he managed to protect, dirtying it. I look down, ashamed.
“My brother thinks the world of you, and the fact my father was able to get his hands on one of the few people he ever really respected was the spark that ignited years of simmering repressed anger.”
“How can you say he’ll talk to me again? After what you told me, there’s no chance he can forgive me.” The words come out hoarse through the knot in my throat, and I feel the tears threatening to come. I didn’t realize how much I couldn’t live without him until I lost him for real.
“Because Evan needs you, personally and professionally. He is stubborn, it will take him a while to understand it, but he will come back to look for you. In the meantime, take a break, come and work for me in Los Angeles, and wait for his situation to calm down.”
I snap my head toward him. I would have expected anything from this encounter but a job offer. “What the hell would I do for you? Why are you giving me this opportunity?”
Aaron smiles and studies me carefully. I feel stripped by his gaze and not in a sexual way. He has the disarming ability to expose my feelings. He’s thirty-six years old, but in his eyes, there’s a wisdom that makes him look much older.
“I’ll find something for you to do, don’t worry. As for why I’m doing it,” he shrugs, “it’s for Evan. You’re smart. From what he told me those few times we talked on the phone, you know how to work hard. You won’t stay on the market for much longer, and when my brother realizes his mistake, you’ll have already found your dream job. I’m trying to give him a chance to make up for a mistake he’ll regret for a long time.”
He talks like he can predict the future and has all the answers in his pocket. To me, this situation is a massive, frightening mess I don’t know how to get out of. His self-assurance makes me feel like an inexperienced child who can’t make decisions and needs someone to do it for her.
“I’m his assistant. I don’t think I’m that important.” He acts like Evan couldn’t live without me.
His eyes rest on mine with a question that leaves me breathless. “Are you sure you’re just that?”
