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Chapter 45
BRIDGET
Present
As I lay tied to a wooden table in some cold basement only God knows where, I start to question everything. Should I have brought Ethan into this world only to deprive him of a father and a mother? Should I have contradicted Felipe’s advice and gone to the authorities with what he had told me? That question kept me up nights for several months, fading only when Ethan was born and took all my attention.
Felipe had argued that if I told law enforcement what I knew, he was as good as dead, and so was I. The Jing San had inside people who would work against any legitimate investigation. The chances they could catch and convict Amy’s killer or tie him to JD would be small. JD had access to an abundance of resources. Amy’s family would be left anguished that their daughter’s killer could not be brought to justice.
Why does it seem like the world is stacked against common people? Against honest, decent people?
Not exposing the truth, however, feels wrong and unjust. Amy’s death is on my conscience. Simone luckily recovered or I’d have the guilt of her death, too.
I had thought about leaving an anonymous tip with the Berkeley Police Department, but what if the triad caught wind of it? They would know the killer himself wouldn’t have tipped off the authorities. That would leave anyone the killer spoke with or who might have overhead him speaking with someone. That could point to Felipe. I had promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone, though that was before I knew what I was agreeing to. And, given the extraordinary circumstances, I think I’d be in the right breaking a promise.
Could I sentence Felipe to death? No.
Now it looks like I’m going to pay the price of silence with my own life.
But does Darren really intend to kill me? He hasn’t said he would, though that doesn’t mean he won’t. Apparently he already has blood on his hands. Felipe had mentioned Manny, but maybe there are others?
If Darren wants to kill me, why hasn’t he already? Because he wants the fun of torturing me first? I knew he had a sadistic streak, but I never imagined it to be this significant.
So what does it say about me that I’m aroused by him still? It’s like my body doesn’t believe what my mind believes. My body still thinks he’s the man I fell in love with. My mind knows better. The man I fell in love with doesn’t exist, maybe never existed.
“How convenient,” Darren remarks as he stands over a briefcase filled with BDSM paraphernalia. “These nipple clamps come with weight.”
He holds them up for me to see.
Oh God.
My breasts feel engorged right now, and I worry if my nipples might be extra sensitive. I recently stopped nursing Ethan, but my breasts haven’t quite gotten the message. I used the breast pump before my date with Josh to ease the pressure and make sure I didn’t have any leakage issues, but that was probably a long while ago. I don’t know how much time passed while I was unconscious, and there are no windows in this place, so I can’t tell what time it is.
Darren walks over to me and places the nipple clamps beside me on the table. Untying my ankles from the legs of the table, but leaving the binding about my wrists in place, he flips me over onto my back. His gaze traverses my body stretched across the surface before settling at my bosom.
“What’s this?” he asks, fingering the fabric over my nipple.
I lift my head up and see a darkened wet spot. Oh no. I’m leaking.
He grabs a breast, and the spot grows. Taking a switchblade from his back pocket, he nestles the blade into my cleavage and slices the front of my dress open. I let out a wild gasp.
He gropes an orb and squeezes. A steam of breast milk arches through the air.
“There something you want to tell me, Bridge?”
I’m at a loss for words. How am I going to explain this? I’m not going to let him know about Ethan.
“I—it’s—a genetic condition,” I blabber.
Smack.
I’m stunned at the sting in my left check. Darren’s never slapped me that hard before.
“Try again,” he says.
“I—I had a—a miscarriage,” I whimper.
Placing the blade on the table, he grabs my jaw. His pupils are constricted as he stares into my eyes. “You said you haven’t fucked anyone since you left me.”
