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“I have a phone from him. It’s back on the island. I took photos of your personal diary and I’m sorry. He said he’d seen those—so, I’m guessing it was on cloud back up.”
He nodded. “That explains some of what he knew.”
“I apologize for what I did.”
He folded back the quilt and sheet and slipped from the bed to pace to the wide window. The view out there was probably his land. “You didn’t know me well when you agreed?”
“No.” I relocated to the edge of the bed and sat there instead. Cassius slithered over on his stomach, in his naked male glory. I couldn’t help admiring him. He perched beside me on his belly, up on his forearms. He wasn’t looking at me though, but at the doctor’s back.
“If we’re doing confessions, I have one too.” He kissed my thigh, and I ruffled my hand through his fair hair, half-smiling. The man was so pretty, and his mouth was even prettier. Impossible not to imagine him licking me to orgasm, even this morning in the middle of this.
Was this going to be a revelatory time? The secrets the doctor had spoken of would gobble me up from the inside if left to fester.
“I forgive you. You, too, Cassius. I knew you were planted on me by Jacob. It was obvious from the first day. I’ve kept far worse secrets. Ihaveworse secrets. I cannot tell you everything. Please, understand this before I begin.”
“Oh, I understand. You knew already?” Cassius seemed more disconcerted by the doctor knowing he’d being spying for Jacob, than anything else.
I grinned down at him. This man…adorable if a bit stupid.
“Me too.” I raised my head. “I guess I understand?” It was difficult to say for sure when the facts were so murky.
“Thank you. Your admissions helped. Trust does need clarity.” Three armchairs faced the window, and he turned and sat in one, placed his arms on the armrests before regarding us with that familiar stony expression of his.
“I am not blameless. I am not perfect. I won’t deny I’ve been a bad man for part of my long life, but I changed. I’m a living example of someone who can change.” He smiled then. “Cassius, did you know that Jacob has cancer?”
“Oh. Fuck no. I didn’t.” He swung around on the bed to sit with me. I leaned into his shoulder, and he pulled me into his lovely warm body.
“This is why he’s been looking into my life, into me, where I have been, and what I do. I’m unsure what made him initially interested, but he thinks I can help him cure his cancer.”
Could he cure cancer? Another question to add to my pile.
The light from the window played on half his face and lent the doctor a dramatic appearance—half darkened and shadowed, half well-lit and warm in soft morning tones.
“Why?” I thought I knew why. Was he waiting, maybe to see how much I knew. I decided I should trigger this. If it helped him decide what to tell us, if my deductions truly led to a reality, then this was good and fine with me. If not? Klutz R Us.
“Have you…” The room closed in, external sounds fading, as if the room also hung on the next words, “Have you lived far longer than the average person?”
“I figured that’s what you meant,” Cassius whispered. “And that you’re on the wrong meds.”
I flicked him a stare. He still had no idea, and of course he didn’t. I’d been mulling this over for far too long and was on the edge of a precipice…but a familiar one. I needed to jump.
The doctor steepled his fingers. “Yes, Charity, I have lived a very long time. Perhaps it is best if you prompt me. I am always fearful of the consequences of whatever I say in these moments.”
Fuck me but he was spewing mouthfuls of long-winded sentences. And still he’d not shared his age. He was circling the topic like water going around a drain.
The doctor was afraid.
He would have reasons for his fear. This made me afraid too. I was tapping at the ice I was walking on with a big blunt stick.
“You’ve been afraid of this before,” I mused. “How many times have you done this—told people? Was that list in the diary all of your lost girls? In the Inner Sanctum, I found some objects that seemed theirs. As if you’ve kept mementos?”
He frowned and said nothing. His hands shifted to the armrests, his fingers clutching.
I suddenly empathized in a way that turned things upside down.
“This is like…” I met his eyes and melted into a sadness, a weird soul matching sadness. “It’s like telling your family you are really an alien? Is that why?”
He laughed, briefly, then he nodded, staring at the floor. “Yes. Except I’m not an alien.”
