Page 26 of Liar

I stopped speaking again because it felt like my tongue turned to rubber. I was confident that I couldn’t speak another word without my voice cracking. My eyes burned with tears. I took a sip of my coffee to redirect my thoughts, a physical distraction to concentrate on. I needed a moment to just breathe without worrying about forming words. He silently watched as I attempted to pull myself back together. I was left with the impression that what I shared was stirring up harsh feelings in his own head, and I’d give a lot more than a penny for his thoughts.

It took a while, but I gathered up the courage to continue. “When the deployment ended, I took leave and went straight to my parents and told them everything. They were adamant that I finish out my contract and come home. The idea that the nation couldn’t protect me, despite my willingness to die for it, infuriated them. They convinced me to report the abuse, so that maybe others would also get justice. I went back to camp and reported him. I finished out the six months of my contract while under investigation. He made sure those six months were hell. He was under investigation as well, but the Navy didn’t do much to punish him. It was his word against mine withno evidence,” I said bitterly.

“Do you know where he is now?” Adam finally spoke. He cracked his knuckles. His tone didn’t match his eyes. His voice practically vibrated with anger, as if he was seconds away from stealing a boat and hightailing it back to the States to track him down.

That wouldn’t be necessary.

“Yeah, he died in the line of duty. It was some kind of training accident. To his family and the Navy, he died a hero’s death, even though he was a monster hiding in a hero’s uniform.” I practically spat the words, I was so disgusted with the outcome. While he couldn’t rape or blackmail any other sailors or women, I had never gotten my justice. I never got the validation of watching his career crumble, like he threatened to do to mine. His family would never know how he destroyed my life. They’d think fondly of him, instead of looking at his picture and seeing disgust. He took the easy way out instead of taking accountability for what he did. I had to hope he was burning in hell somewhere.

His face softened even further. “No justice,” he whispered softly. He reached out and put his hand on my cheek. “I know that my words don’t make it any better, but I’m sorry you went through that. I’m also sorry that I asked you for the full story and that you felt like you owed me the answer. You didn’t.”Bingo, but the apology was nice.“It explains your current profession,” he commented.

“Yeah, I was recruited by Bob’s predecessor. He was on his way out, and he wanted to leave Bob with a challenge, but also an asset. I already had the skills they were looking for, but I had something that couldn’t be taught—determination—and I was floundering looking for my purpose. That’s how I got involved with the FBI. I was recruited by an agent looking for sexual abuse survivors from the military to make a great undercover team.”

“That’s a lot to take in and sounds pretty dangerous,” Adam said.

“Tell me about it. It’s been my life for the past six years, and sometimes I even have a hard time believing it.” It was hard to think about. Sometimes I felt so disconnected from my past that it was difficult to connect to my current life. I was a completely different person now, and I balked at the idea of letting someone do that to me. At least now when I was being touched by perverts, it was because I was laying the trap. I was the spider allowing the fly to land on my web, so I could devour them. Now I had the power and let my victims think that they did.

He gave me a look of determination and spoke quickly, like he was afraid he’d change his mind. “I’ve got one last question, and after that we can move on from this, no matter the answer.” I could handle one more question if it meant he’d forgive me for not being honest from the beginning. “I need total honesty. What was your angle in hooking up with me, and was it planned? Was the airport run-in or our shared flight planned?” he asked. “Were you using me?” The last words were slow and deliberate from his lips.

The air whooshed from my lungs.

That’s more than one question, but I understood the sentiment. He needed to know how much of our connection was real and if I’d been laying a trap for him, like I had for perpetrators. The questions were gentle and ruthless at the same time. He knew that he was stripping me raw, and this was how I’d atone for the hurt I had caused. I found myself between a rock and a hard place, and no matter what I admitted to, it wasn’t going to be the answer he wanted. Not if he wanted anything more from me than a casual romp between the sheets.

“God no. What happened between us last night was my drunk brain acting on the attraction and chemistry I’ve felt from the first day. It wasn’t planned, but I wanted it, a lot. The airport was a complete coincidence. Although I will admit I knew who you were when you bumped into me. I had looked up pictures of the whole group and your basic background before I left for my assignment. I was completely shocked when you bumped into me, and I couldn’t believe my luck,” I answered.

“And the resort?” he asked.

“That I did on the fly. I didn’t book the room until we were on our way here, after you showed me your reservation.” He looked a little hurt but accepted the answer. I was giving him the raw truth, which I realized was everything to him.

I stared at him for a moment. He didn’t ask me for details on my assignment, which I was grateful for. I didn’t have to explain the truth or lie about my real assignment, investigating the possible involvement of the local FBI office. I’d have a hard enough time earning Adam’s group’s trust now that they knew who I was and that I’d lied to them. If they thought the agency was untrustworthy, who knew how that could affect them and their work with the bureau in the future? I wasn’t going to be responsible for that unless Bob’s suspicions were true.

“So what’s the verdict, judge? Can we move past this? I’d really like to help with your mission regardless of Bob’s expectations. I have to remain ethical given I’m in law enforcement, but I’d like to help however I can within those limitations. My life’s purpose is to put sick bastards away, and I’m sensing in a way it’s always yours too with a recent refocus on who you punish. Can we work together?” My heart was beating like a bass drum in my chest, anticipation eating me alive as he stared at me. His eyes searched mine, looking for something.

“Yes, but first you need to make it through the jury,” he said with a smirk. I was happy for the briefest of seconds before I registered the whole answer.

I was forgiven by him, but I still had to go through his friends… Fuck.

CHAPTERTWELVE

adam

If Abby wasn’t an FBI agent, I would have worried about the interrogation my friends gave her. They were sort of ruthless, questioning her over and over on the reasons behind her lies. She remained almost stoic. The emotional Abby from earlier was gone. I could see it like a switch had been flipped off. If she was anything like me, she had likely compartmentalized her abuse and tucked it away in the back of her mind—that or she was a great actress. Definitely the latter, she already proved that she was a good actress. If it weren’t for the fact that Jasmine recognized her face, she could have continued her lies for days until she felt guilty enough to share the truth. As my friends tried to pick apart her story, she didn’t show them her vulnerable side. Granted, she didn’t tell them about the abuse she suffered while in the Navy; I couldn’t bring myself to ask her to share that with them. It was her trauma, and it would stay between us until she was ready to share it with them. Every superhero had their backstory, their past that pushed them to be better; but not every superhero flaunted it, nor did they need to. Anything related to Abby’s work at the FBI was fair game.

I had to admit that I was relieved that Abby wasn’t the heartless monster that my mind had made her out to be after Jasmine’s revelation last night. I spent the whole night wondering if she had played me and if this was just a game to her. I couldn’t help but think the worst about her, partly because she kept such a huge secret, but also because I’d been burned by women in the past. I had usually caught on before I developed any feelings, but Abby was different. While I was still hurt by how I found out, I had to keep a level head. There would be missions I would never be able to tell her about, classified information I’d never be able to share with her. For me to become irrational over her following orders, that would make me a hypocrite, which was something else I despised. I had to suck it up and move on from it; I was going to have to learn to trust her, because we both had the same mission, just different ways of carrying it out. I had to trust the process.

When the crew stopped tearing into her and put this all behind them, she’d fit right in. I knew that Christine would develop a soft spot for her; they had something terrible in common. They’d both been terribly abused by a disgusting excuse of a man. They turned that abuse into something productive to save others. They rose above the terrible shit to make the world a better place, and that was what made them heroes. I could imagine Abby scoffing at the label, and I could see Christine roll her eyes. Jasmine would snort if I ever referred to any of the women as heroes, but that was okay; the true ones didn’t wear capes or spandex. They hid in normal clothing behind normal lives.

“Okay, before we let this go, I’ve got to know, how exactly did you bring down that ring in New York? That’s pretty high profile, and I have a hard time believing that one person was capable of all that undercover work and intel,” Jasmine said. There was no malice, only awe. Jasmine’s fascination with true crime documentaries was shining through, and she had officially entered fangirl territory.

“Uh, I’ll tell you, but I trust this stays between us. They are all still awaiting their trials, so technically this story is supposed to remain within the bureau until that time,” Abby said. She looked a little uncomfortable, like she couldn’t believe she was about to share this with us. She was breaking the rules again, and we were lucky it was for our benefit.

“We promise,” Jasmine said and then pinned everyone with a look. Everyone nodded along their agreement at Jasmine’s glare.Sheesh, that woman is frightening.As if Jones could read my thoughts, he grinned.

“We had an anonymous tip that there could be some trafficking going on in a high rise. Women are always going missing in the city, but there was an uptick, and the authorities were more concerned than normal. Several floors weren’t accessible to the public. Even people who lived in that building couldn’t access those floors. There weren’t many records pertaining to those parts of the building in the public records.” She paused to make sure that we were listening, and we were all hanging off every word. Jasmine hadn’t blinked since Abby started her story, and Christine sat ramrod straight, her knuckles white. Now I was really glad that Jones made Mary stay home; she wouldn’t have been able to handle this mission. I just knew that this story would have been triggering for her.

“The locals contacted the FBI. Bob’s specialty is trafficking, so he was asked to look into it. We started our own investigation and noticed that surveillance from across the street would black out at certain times of the day, and the owners of those cameras had no idea why. Their tech companies had been out to service their CCTV systems several times, and the problem was never fixed. At that point, Bob knew that this couldn’t be a coincidence. They were either running drugs or human trafficking out of the hidden floors, and I was tasked with going undercover to figure it out.” Her eyes met mine as she added, “It was a rabbit hole of fuckery.”

The guys were studying Abby, and I studied them. I noticed a twinkle in Yates’ eye; he liked Abby. I was going to have to put the fear of God in the little asshole. I wouldn’t put it past him to hit on Abby just to fuck with me. After all, he tried that with both Christine and Jasmine. It was like a funny rite of passage for him. I’d show him how funny it would be when he needed a prosthetic hand to match his leg.

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