AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You always knew I was going to leave. It’s better this way.” She turned and started tossing clothing into her bag.
“Better for who?” I challenged. My heart beat hard in my chest, demonstrating just how much power she had over it.
“For all of us.” Her tone was flat. Distant. Emotionless. The exact opposite of how I felt.
“Oh, forgive me. I didn’t realize you were kind enough to save my friends from the heartbreak too?” I scoffed.
“Our friends,” she corrected. Her lips were in a firm line. I knew that my jab hurt her. Good. It was only a fraction of the hurt I felt.
Only silence fell between us. The air felt heavy, like a horse was sitting on my chest. It was suffocating and intense. I wanted to look away. I was uncomfortable with letting her see how much she hurt me, but I didn’t want to be the coward in this situation—that was all her.
“Look, I know you want me to stay. I hear you loud and clear, but can you try to understand that I am doing what’s best for me?” Her voice was softer than before but filled with more quiet passion and determination.
“I understand that. You have the best intentions, but I think you are running from what’s best for you.” I softened my tone too. I wasn’t going to get through to her by shouting. No one ever saw reason when they were being screamed at. It was in the moments of quiet sincerity that the truth sank in.
“Why would I be running?” Her eyes brimmed with tears and implored me to understand her choice.
I was going to hit her with her truth, whether she was ready to hear it or not. “Because you’re terrified that you’ll get hurt. You’re scared that our relationship will be just like your time in the Navy, nothing but a huge disappointment. I wouldn’t do that to you, Abby. You’re beating me to a punch I never intend to throw.”
She sucked in a shocked gasp. “You don’t hold back, do you?”
“No, but neither do you,” I answered. “That’s why I’m surprised you’re doing that right now. Holding back, preventing something that could be the best thing to ever happen to you. I wouldn’t hold you back. I’d only push you forward in the direction you want to go.” Those words were my truth. I know she felt it, because her lip trembled slightly. She sucked it between her teeth to keep me from noticing. Then she let out a huff as she pushed her hair back off her forehead. She winced when she moved the injured shoulder.
Her voice was a sad whisper. “Adam, we’ve been through this over and over. Why don’t we make the most of this time instead of arguing?” Her lip trembled again, and I wanted to press it against mine. But I didn’t know if she’d let me, since she was trying to put distance between us. “I’d rather our last hour be spent fucking instead of arguing.” She gave me the saddest smile. I didn’t realize that sentence could break my heart and make it soar at the same time. I was never going to recover from that, but I’d give it to her anyway.
Her shoulders slumped—she let her guard down.
“I’ll fuck you into oblivion, but don’t think this is it for us. I’m not going to let you fly away into the sunset and disappear forever. It’s not going to be like that,” I told her.
“Of course not,” she said with another sad smile. I quickly put my lips on hers to erase the sadness from her face. “You want to try to fuck in that huge-ass tub?” she asked, breaking our kiss.
“Whatever you want.” She always got what she wanted—and that worried me. If she really didn’t want a relationship with me, there was no way for me to win here—to be happy. I would have followed her anywhere if she asked, but that wasn’t the problem. I wasn’t asking her to give up her career; all I asked was for her to love me back, accept me by her side. In her head, it was an either/or situation—she couldn’t possibly have both. It was a fucking shame because she deserved both; she deserved to have everything she’d ever wanted. I deserved it too.
She grabbed my hand and tugged me into the bathroom. She quickly stripped out of her clothes, and I practically tore mine off my body. If this was going to be our last time, I was going to make it count.
She turned on the hot water and then stepped into the tub. She grabbed my hands and tugged on them, wanting me to join her. I stepped over the edge, and we both stood there looking at each other. Her lips landed on my pectoral muscle, and her teeth lightly grazed my skin. Her hand reached out and grabbed my shaft. That was all it took and I was hard as a rock, sadness be damned.
I gently grabbed her arms and guided her to the edge of the tub where she could sit. She was injured, and no matter how rough she liked things, there had to be a limit. I spread her legs wide, kneeled down, and put my tongue on her clit. I felt her legs shake. I placed my hands on the top of her thighs and held them firm to keep them in place. I moved my tongue in circles, and she shook. Her head tipped backward, and she said, “Don’t stop,” with a moan.
I pulled my right hand away from her leg and began to finger her, and the tub filled. She fisted her hands into my hair as her body shook. She let out a scream, and I felt her clench around my fingers. Then her upper body leaned over mine as she caught her breath. She winced as the movement hurt her shoulder.
“Are you sure that this is a good idea with your shoulder?”
She nodded. “Yes, the painkillers help. I just moved too fast and stretched the stitches.” She slowly righted herself, and I turned off the water. If it got too high, she’d get her stitches wet, which she was supposed to avoid.
“Get in,” I ordered. I helped her swivel her legs around so that they were in the water. She eased herself in. I stepped into the tub, and she reached for me, grabbing me and bringing me to her. She took me into her mouth. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as she pleasured me. Our argument was forgotten. All I could focus on was the feel of her lips wrapped around me and the way she used her tongue.
All too soon I had to stop her. I was afraid that the moment we stopped what we were doing, making love, that she’d leave. She could lie to herself all she wanted—I loved her, and she loved me. I just needed her to feel that; I needed it to be so great that she realized she couldn’t live without it.
I sat down in the tub and pulled her on top of me, so that she straddled my lap. I lowered her onto my dick and fought the urge to groan. I felt her lips latch onto my neck as she roughly kissed the skin. She lightly bit me, and then her tongue soothed the area. I used my hands on her waist to guide her up and down at a steady rhythm. Her hands trailed over my pecs, occasionally pinching my nipple.
I did my best to live in this moment, to savor the pleasure that Abby caused. It was better than thinking of the heartbreak that would be coming in only a few hours.
I raised Abby off my lap slightly and thrusted upward with my hips to meet her halfway. It didn’t take much more than that for Abby to find her release or me to find mine. She let out a cry at the same time I saw stars, my balls tightened, and a deep growl ripped from my throat. Abby sank her nails into my chest, leaving angry red marks. She even drew blood. The woman understood me, and my need for pain didn’t bother her. She willingly gave me what I needed, except for her heart.
We sat there for a few minutes, soaking each other in. So many emotions flickered across her face before they disappeared. I saw how scared she was. Scared that she was going to make the wrong choice. Any choice where I wasn’t in her life was the wrong one, and I hoped to God that she knew that. Or that eventually she’d realize it. I loved her, and I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t have what it took to let her go.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-SEVEN
