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Nodding rapidly, she grabs me by the hand and we walk into her home office. She’s barely pulled out a seat when I burst into tears, my body shaking vigorously as the sobs tear through my heart.
Why am I this unlucky?
Tess doesn’t say a word but she hugs me, soothing me, cooing and rocking gently. Leading me to the sofa, she makes me sit and turn to her. There are tears in her eyes, too. Tess has no idea why I’m crying but when I’m hurt, she’s also hurt by default. What a friend.
“Charlee, I’m getting worried, dear. What’s going on?”
She hands me a tissue from the center table, and when I’m done cleaning my eyes and nose, I pull out a copy of the sonogram.
Tess takes her time to absorb the details, but I can see the shock blazing through her eyes. She keeps staring at it, and I know that’s her way of taking the time to figure out what on earth she should say.
Finally, she looks up at me and envelopes me in another bear hug. My tears start flowing again.
“Harrison’s?” she asks, even though she already knows the answer.
Nodding rapidly, I wring my hands together to stop the shaking.
“Tess, I’ve finally messed up my own life. What am I gonna do? Am I even ready to have a baby? This baby is definitely Harrison’s, but how can I face him and tell him? I’m sure it’ll look like I intentionally allowed this to happen to trap a rich guy with a pregnancy. Girl, I feel so ashamed…”
I shut my eyes so the waterworks don’t start again. Tess scoots forward and cradles me by the shoulders.
“Charlee, first of all, I’m gonna start by saying that getting pregnant doesn’t mean your life has been ruined. If I ever knew anyone who would make the most capable and amazing mom, it has to be you. Whether you decide to keep it or not, I got you, always.”
She pauses and I can almost hear her thinking.
“It’s going to be hard, but don’t you think you should talk to Harrison about this before making any decisions?” Tess asks, a concerned look on her face.
My head starts shaking even before she’s finished.
“Tess! I can’t! How could I? With everything Harrison’s going through right now, how can I add this to his already heavy load? And honestly, even if things were great, I’m not sure he would want to have a baby with me. He probably wouldn’t want his first child coming from someone like me. Maybe Victoria Mendoza and her likes, but not me.”
Tess’s eyes go wide in her head.
“Charlee! How can you keep saying stuff like that? I can’t believe that you’re still hung up on all that bullshit. You’re straight-up one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. Why do you think Harrison is so crazy about you?”
A dry, mirthless laugh escapes my throat.
“Girl, come off it. Harrison is not that into me. He likes me as a friend but I’m not sure in that way, at least not anymore. And you know what hurts the most? It’s the fact that I’ve fallen hard for him and I can’t get over it. And now I’m pregnant with his baby. Oh God…”
Tess cradles me tighter, kissing my forehead and rocking gently.
In my next life, I hope I’ll be lucky to have a friend as wonderful as her. I don’t know how I could have gotten through half of life’s relentless woes without this amazing woman by my side. I hope Roscoe knows how remarkably blessed he is.
Lifting my head from Tess’s shoulder, I wipe at my eyes again. I’m not sure if it’s the crying or the talking, because I suddenly have a humongous appetite.
Taking me to the kitchen, Tess makes me a full chicken salad sandwich and pours some orange juice. Surprisingly, I wolf down the food. This is my first healthy meal in a while.
“Tess, I know I’m probably going to keep this baby, but this is not what I wanted for myself,” I say, dusting my hands off bread dust. “I wanted a happy, quiet, and normal life, you know? Loving someone that loves me, getting married on the beach, having a beautiful honeymoon on some island, and making lovely babies. I don’t want to be a baby mama with a guy who probably doesn’t want my baby.”
Tess exhales and cradles her head in her hand for a moment.
“Charlee, you’re going to make an amazing mommy. I know that. You’re one of the most independent and powerful women I know, even if you don’t realize it yourself. I love you so much and I’m going to support you every step of the way. I’ll be here. I’ll help you nurture that little baby when it comes. It’s Harrison’s loss if he doesn’t realize how wonderful you are. Girl, you got this.”
Tess squeezes my hand, and for the first time that day, a genuine smile spreads across my face.
Maybe I can actually do this.
Just maybe.
