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“Charlee. I don’t think you should…”
The door opens just then, saving me from having to hear about how I should share the news with Harrison. I’m thinking it’s Janice or Tyler coming over to relay some information about their tasks.
But it’s neither of them.
It’s Harrison.
Oh God.
He’s been grooming really nicely for the series of interviews lined up for him, rocking his hair in subtle waves and wearing suits more often. Wow. He should wear suits forever, because my heart does a happy double take when he walks into the room.
“Hey Harrison,” Victoria says, suddenly staring awkwardly at her hands.
“May I have a word with Charlee, please? Alone?” Harrison says, wasting no time with pleasantries. Victoria looks from him to me and back again and then picks up her phone and flounces out of the room.
I don’t know what to do with myself. Do I keep sitting or do I stand? Do I type on my laptop or pay him attention?
“Charlee… Please come here,” Harrison says, standing in front me with hands clasped behind his back. It takes me a moment, but then I shut my eyes and exhale, rising to face him.
There’s this look in his eyes. A gentle, sad warmth I’ve never seen before. It almost makes me want to cry.
Taking both my hands in his, Harrison squeezes softly. “Why have you been so afraid to tell me Charlee? Why keep something so big and special from me?”
My mind goes blank for a second.
What’s he talking about?
Noticing my confusion, he lifts a gentle thumb to my jawline. “I know you’re pregnant, Charlee. I know you’re carrying my baby. Roscoe told me. I know it’s mine.”
Oh God.
Too many emotions are barraging through my head at the same time as my hands go still.
I don’t know which train of thought to process. Joy? Anger? Resignation? Excitement? Guilt? I settle for mental exhaustion. The fatigue spreads through my veins nicely and evenly.
“I’m sorry, Harrison,” I say, my shoulders dropping. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how you were going to take it, considering everything that’s currently going on in your life. I also should have been more careful. Getting pregnant was my mistake. I didn’t want to hoist all of that on you. I’m sorry. I had no bad intention by keeping it from you…”
The tears start running down my face. I can no longer speak as the soft sobs stifle my speech.
Taking me in his arms, Harrison kisses my forehead and rocks gently, rubbing my back. An avalanche of pent-up worry is finally pouring away from me. I never realized how terrified I was of his reaction to the news until now.
When my sobbing lets up, Harrison lets me go, grabbing my hands again. He smells so good and feels so strong that I want to go back into his arms and remain there forever.
He looks at me. “I’ll admit, I was a little upset. I didn’t know what to feel. I thought perhaps, you didn’t want to tell me because it wasn’t mine. But then, I know better. I know your integrity. Don’t put all the blame on yourself, Charlee. We were both responsible for this. And this pregnancy is not a mistake. It was unplanned, but our baby is not a mistake.”
My heart catches in my throat. He said “our baby.” I’m about to start sobbing again when he cups my face.
“Charlee. I want to be a part of this baby’s life. I want to be there every step of the way. I want to be a father to this kid, to love him or her unconditionally. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve been inconsistent and nonchalant. I’m going to be a better man for you and for this kid. Please give me a chance to do this with you.”
I’ve never seen such raw emotion pour out of Harrison. His hands are shaking, and so are mine.
“It’s okay, Harrison,” I say, grabbing onto his wrists as he’s still holding my face, tears streaming down my cheeks. “We’ll make it work. I want to do this with you.”
My heart is bursting.
My chest is squeezing.
My belly is fluttering.
