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She’s still pissed about something and her shoulders are stiff. She’s walking at least ten inches away from me at any time. When we get to the gym room, it’s empty and quiet. It’s just an office gym but Roscoe installed literally every standard gym equipment required from beginner to advanced levels. The colors are still bright and welcoming, but there’s some major workout power in here.
“This is amazing,” Charlee says, genuinely impressed.
My one chance to get things out of the way turns up.
“Charlee, hey. I’m sorry for disappearing so suddenly this morning. I didn’t mean to leave without letting you know. I’m sorry.” This apology sounds weak and stupid, and of course, it elicits the exact opposite effect from her.
“You’re sorry? Really, Harrison? You’re just… sorry? I opened up to you about my vulnerabilities and you still chose to walk out on me. Why am I surprised? That’s the kind of stuff you’re known for anyway. Ravish and vanish.”
Her words fly at me like a sharp dagger.
Is this how lowly Charlee thinks of me, too? It shatters my heart and breaks my spirit, but I maintain my cool. I know I have a poor reputation with women but it’s not in the way she imagines. Is there not even one person in my life who thinks highly of me? I saw her this morning and left the way I did, not because she isn’t the most gorgeous woman on earth, but because, I’ll probably disappoint her. I can never be what she needs.
Since the truth will fail me again, I settle for a lie. “Charlee, I’m really, genuinely sorry. I have no excuse for what I did, but Roscoe sent me a message pretty early to be in the office two hours before work starts. I had to leave and I didn’t want to wake you. You were sleeping so peacefully.”
It sounds lame and just as silly as the first attempt, and Charlee probably knows I’m grasping at straws. She turns around, her defensive arm fold turning to a full-on self-hug. Shy and embarrassed but she still has a lot to say.
“You can just say you hate virgins…” Charlee mutters and I’m not sure if she said virgin or another word.
“I’m sorry. What?” I don’t try to hide my surprise.
She spins around and stares at me, her eyes shooting bullets of accusation at my face.
“Don’t act like you didn’t know. Even if I didn’t say it directly, there is no way you couldn’t tell.” Charlee’s face turns bright red with that last sentence. She ducks her head and turns to the side, shutting her eyes as the embarrassment cuts through the air.
My eyes are popping out of my head and I feel my arms stiffening.
My shock is palpable. Charlee was a virgin as of last night, and I was her first? This just makes the awkwardness between us ten times worse, but for some reason, I feel a little… happy at the notion. My male ego likes the fact that no one else had ever been with Charlee that way. I got to be her first.
“Charlee. You didn’t tell me you’re a virgin. You only said you’re not that experienced. How was I supposed to know?” I try to reach out to hold her but she backs away, rapidly, like an automatic recoil.
“Don’t lie to me, Harrison. Why else would you offer to take me home and go upstairs? It’s not like I have the perfect body like all your previous conquests. You knew. You wanted a taste of virgin meat and I was just right there.”
Charlee’s accusations are so hurtful that my hands start to vibrate. My mind has never known how to properly handle this kind of hurt. Why is she coming at me like this?
“Charlee, stop. Can you even hear yourself? First, how on earth was I supposed to know you’re a virgin? I would never have guessed it in a million years, because even though you’re a responsible and decent woman, I need you to listen to me very carefully here. You are gorgeous, smart, and the sexiest fucking thing I’ve set my eyes on this decade. And second, you’re a walking sex-appeal magnet and I know I’m not the only one who’s been drawn to you.”
I regret the confession as soon as it’s out in the open. I’ve probably said more than I need to say, because Charlee is staring at me then, her anger morphing into complete shock and then more embarrassment. She ducks her head and swallows hard, unable to look at me.
I feel like an idiot.
“I… well…” Charlee wants to say something but Luke, my executive assistant, breezes into the gym from nowhere, out of breath and in a major hurry.
“Boss, I’ve been searching all over for you. The on-boarding meeting starts in five minutes. We need to prep quickly.” He dashes out again, and before I can say a word to Charlee, she’s striding out of the gym as well.
At this point, it seems the only thing I can do perfectly, without mistakes, is fucking up my own life.
4
HARRISON
If headaches could really split heads, mine would be spattered on the floor in five different pieces right now.
The day is finally over, and while I’m happy with our set-up, I think I might have over-extended myself. Now I see why Roscoe acts like he bears the weight of the world on his shoulders. Or maybe he’s just really an awesome people person. I’ve had to smile so much today, shake hands, and wear a leader’s persona, even though my heart often pounded too fast and my legs vibrated like boiling jelly under the table.
I’ve finally been forced to step out of my shell, and I’m not feeling very ready for the harsh realities yet. I’ve always given my best effort under the umbrella of my father and brother, but now, I have to hold up the umbrella for others.
That’s a lot of pressure, and I’m fervently hoping I don’t bulk in two days.
