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"You were lucky to have him."
"Yes. But it took me about a year to realize what it was costing him. Erico was my twin."
Caitlyn gasped. "Identical?"
"Yes. And every day, Fernando would see my face. My presence was a torture for him. I would catch him looking at me with so much love and pain...I knew I had to leave."
"That's so sad." Another tear rolled down her cheek.
Carlos brushed it away. He was having a hard time keeping his own tears at bay. "I've always had this terrible fear that Fernando couldn't tell us apart when he rescued me. Then when I regained consciousness, he realized he'd saved the wrong twin."
"Oh, Carlos." Caitlyn placed her hands on his face. A tear escaped down his cheek, and she wiped it with her thumb.
"I've never told anyone this before," he whispered. "For five years I've been afraid that Fernando regrets saving me. Now he's stuck with the brother who can't love him."
"Don't say that. He went back for your brother, right? He intended all along to save you both. He never chose between the two of you. The choice was taken away."
Carlos squeezed his eyes shut. "I miss my brother so much. And I know the children are hurting, but I don't know what to say to them."
She lowered her hands. "You're doing fine."
He opened his eyes. "Do you understand why I have to find a mother for them?"
"Yes."
He touched her cheek. "I'm sorry it can't be you."
"So am I."
With a sigh, he dropped his hand. "Sometimes it hurts to do the right thing."
She nodded. "It hurt you to tell me everything, but I'm glad you did. Thank you."
He settled back in his seat. She'd misinterpreted his statement. What was hurting him the most was rejecting her. If only...but it did no good to avoid the truth. He couldn't have her.
"Let's get some rest." He closed his eyes and listened to the rustling sounds she made as she nestled underneath a flannel blanket. Eventually he heard her breathing become slow and even.
He opened his eyes to look at her while she slept. Her soft cheeks glistened from the tears she'd shed for him and his family. His chest tightened. He was awed by her determination to help him and the children. Awed by how quickly and thoroughly she could open her heart to someone. She was beautiful, clever, loyal, and brave.
He nudged her head over till she was sleeping on his shoulder. Her scent filled him with a sense of comfort and peace. As he drifted off to sleep, he realized he felt much more than desire and passion for Caitlyn.
He loved her.
Caitlyn yawned again as they walked across the campus of Chulalongkorn University. Even though she'd managed to sleep a little on the long flight, she was still exhausted.
"You don't have to do this," Carlos said. "The professor speaks English, so I don't need an interpreter. You could go back to the hotel and sleep."
"I'm fine. I'm enjoying the walk." It felt good to stretch her legs. She took a sip from her water bottle. The weather was warm, but she was glad they'd come in early April. A few months later the rains would begin.
After arriving at the Suvarnabhumi airport in Bangkok and changing some dollars into baht, they'd taken a cab to their hotel near Embassy Row. The taxi driver had jabbered nonstop in broken English while he careened down busy streets, narrowly avoiding other cars and claiming that traffic lanes and signs were merely suggestions. Caitlyn figured his hyperactive behavior was linked to the five empty energy drink bottles in the front seat. Carlos had muttered something about the jungle being safer.
They'd checked into the hotel, a very posh place that Caitlyn had used for visiting dignitaries when she'd worked at the embassy. They'd cleaned up and eaten some Pad Thai at a local restaurant. Another cab ride dropped them off at the university on Phayathai Road, near the science buildings where Carlos's contact had his office.
"He's expecting us?" Caitlyn asked as they entered the faculty building.
"Yes. I called him while you were in the shower." Carlos punched the button on the elevator. "He's on the third floor."
A few minutes later, Carlos knocked on an office door. A short man with a round smiling face answered. He wore thick round glasses that made his eyes look huge. A few strands of black hair were combed across the bald spot on top of his head.
"Ah, you must be Carlos!" He pressed his hands together close to his chest and bowed slightly. He glanced curiously at Caitlyn. "You brought a pretty lady with you."
"My wife. Caitlyn...Panterra."
Caitlyn smiled in spite of the twinge of annoyance she felt. Carlos had nearly choked saying her name.
"Your wife?" The professor blinked his big owlish eyes. "I didn't know you were married."
"He never mentioned me?" Caitlyn heaved a tragic sigh. "I'm afraid he gets so wrapped up in his work that he forgets all about me."
Carlos shot her an annoyed look. "I could never forget you." He gritted his teeth. "Darling."
"Oh, you're so sweet." She squeezed his arm, inadvertently pressing her br**sts against him.
He arched a brow at her. "Let me introduce you to Professor Supat Satapatpattana."
"Delighted to meet you, Professor Salapatty-patman." She pressed her palms together and inclined her head.
"It's Satapatpattana," Carlos murmured.
Caitlyn gave him a wide-eyed look. "Isn't that what I said?" She'd warned him ahead of time that she might act a little ditzy so no one would suspect she could understand other languages.
The professor chuckled. "Please, call me Pat. Come, sit down." He circled behind his desk and took a seat.
Caitlyn and Carlos sat in the two chairs facing him. She set her leather handbag and bottle of water on the floor by her feet.
"I have to say that I am very excited about your mission," Pat began. "If we can prove there are humans who have the ability to shift into cats - " His eyes lit up. "It would be the greatest scientific discovery of our time!"
"Indeed," Carlos murmured.
"And to be a part of this momentous discovery," Pat continued, his face beaming. "It would be a great honor for me. And the university."
Caitlyn almost felt sorry for Pat. If Carlos did find some were-panthers, he would never admit to it. The professor's hopes were doomed from the beginning.
Pat slid a map across his desk. "This is for you. I have circled in red the area where the cat shifter was killed."
"Alleged cat shifter," Carlos said as he took the map.
"Surely you must believe it is true," Pat protested. "You have come all this way. You must believe the shifters really exist."
There was a desperation in the professor's eyes that worried Caitlyn. Did he have a different motivation than his fifteen minutes of fame?
Carlos cleared his throat. "To be honest, Pat, there are rumors of strange creatures all over the world. Big Foot, Sasquatch, the Loch Ness monster. It's extremely hard to find definitive proof."
"We have proof, an eyewitness account." Pat's hands clenched into fists. "I am positive you can find these cat shifters. You must."
Definitely something fishy going on. Caitlyn kept her face blank and pretended to be engrossed in the map Carlos was holding. A red circle had been drawn around a hilly area northwest of Chiang Mai.
Pat took a deep breath and relaxed his hands. "I have arranged for a guide who will meet you in Chiang Mai. His name is Tanit, and his English is good."
"Great. Thank you." Carlos folded the map carefully. "Our plane is arriving there tomorrow at four-fifteen in the afternoon."
"I can't wait." Caitlyn grinned, feigning a bubbly excitement. "I read about it online when I booked the hotel." She avoided saying that she'd been to Chiang Mai before. "There's this old city that's surrounded by a moat. And then there's a nightly bazaar, so I can go shopping."
Carlos stiffened. "No, no shopping."
"We have to buy stuff for the children."
"Anything you buy would have to be dragged along for the entire trip. We don't have room in our backpacks."
"I'll buy little things."
The professor shook his head and muttered in Thai, "Definitely married." He switched to English. "I will call Tanit immediately to let him know when to meet you at the airport."
