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"Why? Are you afraid of being hurt?"
"I suppose. When I was young, I loved my sister more than anything, then I lost her. Then I loved Mr. Foofikins, and I lost him. I think that's why I kept so many treasures. I didn't have to worry about them leaving me."
Carlos nodded. "I understand. I lost everyone I loved."
You wouldn't lose me. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but how could she? He would just reject her again.
"Who is Mr. Foofikins?" he asked.
"My cat. He was beautiful. Solid black with gold eyes. He had feline leukemia, so it was doomed from the start." Tears crowded her eyes. "Sorta like our relationship."
"I am sorry."
There was a pause. Caitlyn blinked her eyes, determined not to cry.
"Have you had any lovers?" he asked quietly.
She sighed. "I don't know if you could call him a lover. He claimed to love me, but...I never really...I didn't love him. I think I was just lonely."
"Is that when you learned to fake orgasms?"
She snorted. "You seem to be obsessed with that."
"Your performance was...extraordinary."
"Gee, thanks. I'll have it put on my tombstone."
"I can't help but wonder how it compares to the real thing."
She glanced at him. His features were blurred on the other side of the white gauze netting, but she could see his gleaming amber eyes focused on her. A wave of longing swept over her. She would never have to fake it with Carlos. Her heart would be fully engaged up to the moment he broke it.
"In fact," he murmured, "I'm extremely curious to see how you react to the real thing."
"Curiosity killed the cat," she whispered.
"I'll risk it." He lifted the edge of the netting and slipped underneath to join her on the pallet.
Her skin tingled with anticipation, but her heart pounded with fear. "Carlos - "
"Shh." He placed a hand on her cheek. "I've never wanted a woman as much as I want you." He kissed her brow, then her nose.
Tears filled her eyes as she placed her hands on his face. She'd pursued him from the beginning, but she was not going to play the part of a pathetic, needy wimp. If she'd learned anything from all this, it was that she needed to be strong. "Carlos, if you're not going to stay with me, then don't do this."
His eyes searched hers.
It was strange, but she'd never felt closer to him than now, when she was rejecting him.
He brushed her hair back from her brow. "I want to give you pleasure."
"Why? Because I've had to fake it in the past? I won't do this because you pity me."
He sat back. "Catalina, I have many feelings for you, but never pity."
She waited to see if he'd elaborate on all those feelings, but he remained quiet. A tear rolled down her cheek.
He bowed his head. "I have pity, but for myself, that I have found the most beautiful woman in the world, and I cannot have her."
"Oh, Carlos." She reached for him.
He lay down beside her as he gathered her into his arms. She nestled her face on his shoulder, and he smoothed away the tears on her cheek.
He was warm and sweet, and she knew she loved him with all her heart. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and let herself drift into sleep.
Carlos jerked awake when sunlight suddenly burst into their room. A village woman had pulled apart the draperies to let the morning sunshine in. She saw him and Caitlyn still on the pallet and quickly averted her eyes. Another woman placed a tray of food on the floor, then the two women hurried away.
He walked to the opening to look outside. A heavy mist hung low over the nearby mountains. He spotted his and Caitlyn's backpacks at the base of the ladder, so he climbed down to fetch them.
Ajay approached him with another villager, both grinning at him.
"I am Arnush," the villager introduced himself. "I know little English. Ajay like to wish you much happiness in your marriage."
Carlos gave Ajay a wry look. He considered questioning the man's audacity at marrying him and Caitlyn, but he couldn't. She'd felt so right in his arms all night. "You can tell your leader that I'm most grateful."
Arnush passed on the message, then said, "Ajay like to see you in workshop after you eat."
"Very well." Carlos climbed back into the house. He changed into his own clothes, then awakened Caitlyn. His wife. His beautiful wife.
Once he'd recovered from the initial shock, he no longer felt angry with her. He was angry at himself because he didn't know what to do. Part of him - an overwhelming part - wanted the marriage. He was in love with her. He ached for her. But there was still a small guilt-ridden part of him that reminded him he had to do what was right. He had to protect his species.
While she was dressing, he went to relieve himself. The village women had brought them a breakfast of guava, bananas, rice, and hot tea. After eating, they proceeded to the workshop.
Ajay and Arnush were there, drinking tea. Ajay smiled and said something to Caitlyn.
She responded, pressing her hands together and inclining her head.
Carlos mimicked her act, although he had no idea what was being said. "Arnush, would you mind finding our guide, Tanit?"
"Yes, I find him." Arnush hurried from the shop.
Ajay motioned for them to sit on bamboo mats next to him. He spoke, then Caitlyn translated.
"He says I could be right in thinking our guide is not trustworthy." Caitlyn's brow furrowed with worry. "When we went into the jungle last night to relieve ourselves, Tanit also left the campfire. Ajay says he went in the same direction we did."
Carlos winced. "Then Tanit might have seen me shift."
Caitlyn nodded. "I'm afraid so."
He recalled the way Tanit had eyed his tattoo. Caitlyn had warned him about Pat's telephone conversation. If Tanit learned anything about a cat shifter, he was to call Pat so they could alert the Master, whoever that was.
"I find him," Arnush announced as entered the shop with Tanit.
The guide gave them a sheepish smile. "I'm very sorry. I overslept. That drink last night knocked me out."
"That's all right." Carlos motioned for Tanit to join them. "I want to ask Ajay if anyone in his tribe has seen panthers in the area."
"Of course." Tanit sat on a bamboo mat and posed the question to Ajay in Thai.
Ajay nodded, then responded in the same language.
Tanit grew pale as he listened. Carlos glanced at Caitlyn, knowing she could also understand what Ajay said. Her face was carefully blank, but her hands were clenched together.
"Ajay has not seen a panther for several months," Tanit reported. "But he says there is a creature to the north of here, a man-eating creature."
"How does he know it eats men?" Carlos asked.
"Because the men do not return," Tanit explained with a shaky voice. "There was a man from the village who went north, hunting for wild boar, but he never returned. A week later his cousin went looking for him, but he disappeared, too. Now, no one from the village will go north."
Ajay spoke some more, then Tanit translated. "There are rumors that the man-eating creature is a giant cat. Others say he is an evil creature of the night."
"We should check it out," Carlos said.
Tanit's eyes bulged. "We can't go into the jungle, looking for man-eating cats."
Carlos frowned at him. "I thought you understood what this mission was about."
"Yes, but - " Tanit wiped beads of sweat from his brow. "What if they're not cat shifters? What if they're not human at all, but like to eat humans?"
"Maybe we should spend a few days here," Caitlyn suggested. "The cats might come to us."
Ajay spoke some more.
Tanit jumped to his feet. "This is too dangerous. I - I can't do this." He ran from the workshop.
Ajay snorted and said something in the Akha language.
"He says our guide is too fearful," Caitlyn translated. "That he's hiding something."
Ajay talked some more while she listened. Her eyes widened and she gulped a few times.
"What did he say?" Carlos asked.
"There's a legend in these hills," she began. "All the tribes whisper the tale in the dark, but none have dared to report it to the government. Men have been disappearing for forty years. Some say it is the tigers or the panthers, but everyone agrees it is evil. The Yao say it is a supernatural creature who steals the breath of a man and leaves him as a soulless body to roam the night. They call it by its Chinese name, chiang-shih."
