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As if she knows what I’ve done, she sinks into the water, and I see her shadow push off the wall then emerge on the other side where the steps are. She doesn’t look at the camera as she gets out. Simply wraps herself back in her cover-up and heads back inside. I turn off the monitor so there’s no light whatsoever in the room and listen as she comes down the hallway. There’s a pause before I hear the closing of her door.
How in the world am I going to survive this woman?
5
AUTUMN
I bring the covers over my head as if it’s a memory eraser. Unfortunately, it doesn’t chase away the memory of touching myself in the pool last night while I stared at a camera, hoping Jackson was on the other side watching.
“Why Autumn?”
Gah, I’m so stupid. Why would I do that with the man I have a business relationship with? The same one I got pissed at for playing hot and cold then I turn around and do the same thing. What was I expecting to happen while I paraded around naked and touched myself? For him to come outside and take off those pants like he refused to do in the afternoon? To kiss me senseless again? To make me forget that my life is falling apart at the seams?
No, that wasn’t my aim, not that I would have turned any of that down. I mostly just wanted him to see me. To want me. I wanted to imagine he was seeing me, the real me.
Not that I really know who that is anymore.
But yesterday when he gave me that nickname, it lit something inside me. I felt like that girl from the voicemail. That free-spirited girl, the wildcat, who wanted to live life to the fullest. I wanted to experience that safe feeling of being in a relationship that allowed me to be myself and explore my sexual nature again.
Not that the safe feeling lasted back then.
I was only twenty when I met Ben Townsend. The wholeSunset Beachcast was a bunch of fresh-faced actors that felt lucky enough to get their own television series. We never fathomed that by the third aired episode, our fame would be launched. Suddenly, we couldn’t go anywhere without being recognized.
The chemistry between me and Ben was off the charts. We barely made it through the first month of filming before we were ripping our clothes off each other. We kept it on the down low through production, but eventually our agents learned of our relationship. They told us to keep it under wraps because it would be better for publicity and fan interest. Plus, if we broke up then it wouldn’t affect production or the fan reaction. So, that’s what we did.
And now I wish we never had. Because no one believes that the voicemail is nine years old and not from the past year when Ben and I were filming Home & Heart’s latest Christmas movie,Snowed In With You.
I wasn’t exactly looking forward to working with Ben again, but the fans drove our reunion and my hands were tied. After we broke up duringSunset Beach, Ben was always the perfect gentleman in front of everyone, but as soon as we were alone it was all insults and nasty remarks. In the final season he started dating someone else and finally he left me alone. To my complete shock, before we started filmingSnowed In,he apologized for his behavior, claiming he was sober now and had grown up a lot. Filming with him ended up being a better experience than I ever expected, almost like he was the guy I originally fell for, and we made Home & Heart’s most successful movie yet.
I should have known it was all bullshit. A leopard can’t change its spots.
I throw off the covers and grab my phone from the nightstand and run through my messages, ignoring all the social media notifications. My agent has sent several texts in all caps and considering it’s early in California that means he started working before his fourth cup of coffee. His pissyness is especially fragile first thing in the morning. He’s having a shit fit about my performance in the airport and because of it he’s getting even more calls about me starring in adult films. I focus on the last two messages of his tirade.
Ed: I’m hearing rumors from H&H and they aren’t good. WE NEED TO FIX THIS OR CONSIDER THOSE CONTRACTS CANCELLED!!
Ed: YOU NEED TO CALL ME!!
I snort at the last one. Like I’m going to talk to him right now.
Me: I’ll call Sylvia Davis and see if I can smooth some ruffled feathers. I’m absolutely not calling you when you ALL CAPS me. Drink more coffee, Ed. I’ll keep you posted.
Ed: YOU’RE A PAIN IN MY ASS!!
Me: Love you too!
I scroll through my contacts and find Sylvia’s contact. Sylvia is the CEO of the Home & Heart Channel and the few times we’ve met, we hit it off. Maybe if I talk to her, I can salvage my contracts with them. If I can’t keep them, then I don’t know what’s going to become of my career.
My contact number is a direct line to her office. Her assistant puts me through as soon as I say my name. One good thing about being a part of a scandal is apparently you get to skip the appointment line.
“Autumn, wish I could say it’s a surprise to hear from you.” Sylvia’s voice is smooth, but direct.
“Hello, Ms. Davis. Thank you so much for taking my call.”
She gives this humming sound and I’m not sure if that’s a good sign or not. “You’ve given me a hell of a week, Autumn. You’re a PR nightmare I don’t need. The easiest thing for me to do is terminate your contract.”
I swallow and close my eyes. “I’m sure it is.”
It’s true, as much as I hate it. I make family friendly Christmas movies for them and now I’m famous for an X-rated voicemail, stalking, potential cheating, and an explicit airport tirade. Not exactly Home & Heart material.
