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My heart stutters in my chest. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that being your bodyguard takes top priority over everything. Over being the fake boyfriend. Over a friendship. Over…anything. I have to stay focused.”
“Do you really think that if you weren’t kissing me at the festival things would have turned out differently? Jackson, that song would have been played even if you were standing over me like the secret service.”
“We should have never been there in the first place. I knew it. But I wanted you to drop your act so desperately I gave in. And look what happened?! You were almost trampled, and you got injured.” He jerks away from me, anger vibrating from him.
“Jackson-” I reach out to him, but he flinches and backs away until he’s fully in the hallway.
“No, Autumn. I can’t have you hurt again.I fucking can’t.”
The fierce pain in his voice takes my breath away. I can’t remember the last time I felt so…cherished.
“I want to get back to where we were before I put my foot in my mouth on that swan. Where we’re friends and the fake boyfriend role is strictly that. A role. G-rated. We can’t cross the line again.”
I don’t even understand how this man’s words can pierce my heart in one moment then crush it in the next. It should piss me off, but it only makes me realize that he cares for me. Enough that all logic has fled his brain. There’s no arguing with him now if he can’t see past his own fears.
“Okay.”
He blinks at me. His expression wary and maybe a little disappointed.
“If that’s what you want. Think about this though, Jackson. How are we going to build trust with each other if you plan to turn off our friendship the moment something goes wrong?”
He opens his mouth then shuts it without saying a word. Maybe logic will make a reappearance soon. I turn to walk away, but he grabs my elbow before I can leave.
“Nothing’s going to go wrong. Not this way.”
I wish I was naïve enough to believe that. That the worst of this scandal is behind us. That we’ll be able to be friends without wanting more – without acting on it. No, it feels like we’re on a collision course and the real question is will we be strong enough to survive it together? And with our hearts intact.
10
JACKSON
It’s been a week since the festival and Autumn’s wrist seems to have improved quite a bit. She doesn’t move it as gingerly or wince in pain anymore. If only I could rid myself of constantly thinking about her coming apart in my arms as easily.
I should have never touched her, but there was no way I could deny her request. I understood what she needed. Hell, I needed it too, but I knew if I crossed that line I’d never go back.
Autumn’s not acting around me anymore, but it feels like what happened at my apartment still hangs between us. She’s not wrong about what she said that day. How can I ask her to trust me if I throw our friendship away at the first sign of trouble? But I need her to understand that her safety must come first.
Thankfully, the media onslaught has died down since the festival. She’s garnered some sympathy though she’s still labeled a stalker. We’ve kept out of the public eye, mostly for Autumn to heal, but to also let the gossip die down. We’ve binged movies and television series. And except for the sexual tension that lights up between us every time we lock eyes, it’s been good.
My phone pings telling me that there’s someone at the gate. I open the app and see an unfamiliar vehicle. I press the button to speak through the intercom. “Yes?”
“Delivery for Maggie Caldwell.”
Maggie Caldwell is Autumn’s alias. It’s a mash-up of two of her Home & Heart characters. I wish she would give me a head’s up when she places orders. I buzz him in and tell him to leave everything at the door. The last thing I need is for him to recognize me then Autumn’s location is discovered.
I knock at her door. “Your delivery is here.”
She yells that she’ll be out in a minute. I check the app and when the delivery guy has left the property, I go to the door to see Autumn’s ordered groceries. As I pull everything out in the kitchen, Autumn comes in. “Oh, good. I hope you know how to work a grill because we’re barbequing today.”
I glance up and everything in me stills. She’s wearing a swimsuit cover-up, different than the one I’ve seen before. This one is short and black sheer, revealing hints of the red bikini she’s wearing underneath. It seems like I’ll be spending the next few hours fighting a constant boner. Fuck my life.
I ignore my lusting body and meet her gaze. “Is that right? And what are we cooking?”
She smiles and it’s a gorgeous sight to see. After all that time of getting her fake smiles, every real one feels like a gift.
“A little surf and turf. Some grilled pineapple. And yummy drinks.”
