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I exhale deeply at that. Could that be true? Do I stand a chance? I don’t know, but I’m damn sure going to try.
21
AUTUMN
“I really appreciate this, Cara.”
I pack the last of my belongings into my suitcase and zip it close.
Cara waves her hand. “Of course. You’re giving me a great way to procrastinate on writing.”
“Hmm, maybe I should have made you stay home then. You know, I have the house for another week. You’re welcome to work here if you need a change of scenery. We can do a house swap.”
Cara looks intrigued by this. “You sure you don’t want to stay and enjoy it a little longer?”
I shake my head. The house is great, but Jackson’s ghost is all over the place. I keep expecting him to walk in at any second and the fact that he hasn’t makes my heart feel like it’s on the constant plummet part of a roller coaster ride. Maren told me he was the one that sent her the podcast link, and I have a feeling Ben’s boxing accident was no accident. Yet, I haven’t heard from him at all since I released my statement.
Is he staying away because I told him I wanted space? I needed it in that moment – we both did. But now, I just want this silence between us to end. We need to clear the air, but I suppose the rom-com character in me was hoping he would make the first step. After the way all my past boyfriends have treated me – after the way the whole world has treated me – I need to be the one someone fights for.
“No,” I say to Cara. “I don’t want to stay here alone.”
“Are you going to call him?”
“I will.”
Maybe. Part of me wants him to do the calling, even if I’m the one who asked for space.
Cara cocks her head as she looks at me like she doesn’t believe me. “Please don’t be the book where the whole conflict is based on a simple miscommunication that causes the couple to miss out years of being together. Because that book deserves to be thrown against a wall.”
I smile, I do hate those books. “Maybe I’m at the part where I’m waiting for the hero to come in and sweep me off my feet with an epic apology. Of all people, you should understand that.”
She rolls her eyes. “I write fiction. Men are generally less enlightened in real life. Call him.” She grabs the bag between us. “I’ll take this to the car.”
I laugh at that. “Fair point. I’ll do a final check to make sure I got everything.”
I walk through the house, going into Jackson’s room last. His stuff is still here. I wander through the room, touching all the items spread throughout. On the bed is his T-shirt that I flung off me before we had sex for the first time. I pick it up, tempted to put it on and never take it off.
“You can have it.”
I whirl around to see Jackson leaning against the door frame. My heart takes off on the best part of the roller coaster – the pure thrill. I can’t breathe, yet I feel like I’m breathing for the first time in over a day.
“But I get your shirt in exchange,” he says with a teasing smirk on his lips.
I smile, unable not to. “I was just thinking of switching.”
“Great minds…”
I soak him in, noticing the bruising along his cheek and jaw. My smile widens. Ben’s face looked much worse. “Quite a bruiser you got there.”
That smirk remains on his lips. “You should see the other guy.”
“Oh, I have a feeling I did. I’m guessing Gage told you I was in town.”
“He did. But don’t go too hard on him, he doesn’t like seeing his friends make mistakes.”
My heart seems to stall. I nod slowly, scanning his features, desperate for what he’s thinking. “Oh?”
“Yeah, and I want to fix it. Do you?”
