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“It’s certainly possible. I don’t know if we’ll ever understand the whole story.”
“There was an old chest in the attic, left over from Annabelle’s time there. Or, I assumed so, because it had her name carved into the side. You know, one of those old steamer trunks.”
“Where is it now?”
I laughed at the glitter in his eyes. He was as into this as I was. “At the time I didn’t think it was my place to go through it. Once I realized they were things left behind by Annabelle, I took them out to Mr. Barnes—Trapper’s dad. I figured they belonged in their family. He was kind enough to bring me a few photographs that he thought I might like for the walls. I wish he hadn’t now, because they’re gone.”
“Do you think he’d let you look at what was in the trunk? If you gave him what we found?”
“I’m sure he would. He loves to talk about the history of this town.” I leaned down to pull the steak from the oven and waved away the smoke. “Don’t worry. They’re not burned.”
“I wasn’t worried.” He gazed at me for a moment, head cocked to the side. “I know I’m in good hands with you.”
We sat down to eat, enjoying the food without talking much. He scarfed his down, which meant I’d practically starved him with all the excitement over Annabelle’s things. When I was done, I pushed away my plate and told him to eat the rest of the steak.
“You sure?”
“Go for it.” I poured more wine into my glass and leaned back in the chair, crossing my jean-clad leg over the other. It felt good to be out of my work clothes, especially the shoes. “I wonder what ever happened to this Bromley guy?”
“Maybe the journal will tell us. I’m going to be itching to hear about what you find out.” Darby cut into another piece of meat and brought it to his mouth and chewed. I liked the way the muscle in his cheek moved.
“I’ll go out and see Trapper’s dad tomorrow if I have a break at work. Maybe he’ll know more.”
“Be sure to take notes.” He grinned and pointed his steak knife at me. “And now, you promised all the gory details about your talk with Arianna. I want everything.”
I laughed. “I completely forgot about her. Let’s see. Well, I wasn’t very nice. I was evil, actually.” I recounted as best I could the conversation. “I laid it on a little thick but held myself back from going on too much about how great you are.”
“I’m surprised you could think of much.” His eyes held both vulnerability and a marked lack of self-esteem. I could relate.
“Why would you say that?” I asked, curious what he would say even though I suspected I knew the stories he told himself all too well.
He lifted one shoulder. “You don’t know me that well.”
I caught his eye for a moment. “I’d like to. What do you think? About that idea,” I finished lamely. This putting oneself out there wasn’t for the faint of heart. As much as I’d told myself I wasn’t interested in opening myself up this way, here I was, compelled toward him like metal to a magnet.
His forehead wrinkled and in the hesitation that followed, I feared the worst. He was not interested in anything other than friendship. There was someone else. Another teacher maybe? He spent a lot of his life at school. Or maybe he still had feelings for Arianna. Ones that would keep him from exploring a new relationship for fear it would hurt whoever was on the hopeful end of the rope.
Finally, he spoke, taking away my fears but giving me something mysterious nonetheless. “I’d like to get to know you better too. Tonight and last night, I’ve really enjoyed myself.” A pink flush smeared his cheeks and jawline like strokes of liquid blush.
“I have too.” I braced myself for whatever was next, already sweaty and embarrassed and wishing I’d kept my big mouth shut. In my life, the “but” had often come from the man I was trying to connect with, starting with my father and continuing on with the men I’d dated.
“I’m not sure if you knew me better that you’d feel that way,” Darby said.
“Try me?” Darn, I was being brave tonight. Maybe it was the wine or being so tired or the romance of the silly metal box.
“It’s just that, well, I’m broke, and I have no intention of being anything else but a teacher. I love it. I can’t compete with guys in suits, you know.”
“Yeah? So what? I already know that anyway.”
He watched me, eyes glittering in the dim light. “Growing up, my dad was…harsh.”
“How harsh?” I held my breath, knowing that whatever he said next would change how I perceived him. He would no longer be just a hot, sweet guy I liked, but someone complicated with layers. Complexities that could lead to dysfunction and betrayal. Like my parents.
An image of my mother after my father left played before my eyes. She hadn’t come out of her bedroom for two days. Desperate and worried, I’d gone into the room to check on her. She’d been curled in the fetal position. The shades were drawn, and the room was overly warm and stuffy. When I’d yanked open the shades, she hadn’t opened her eyes. For a split second I’d been worried she was dead, but a slight moan informed me differently. I’d sat next to her, stroking her dirty hair, coaxing her eyes open. When she did open them to look up at me, the utter defeat and despair filled me with a darkness I’d never felt before. One I’d not fully shaken since then.
She was doing much better now. Life had returned to her eyes and her spirit. However, a shadow remained. One that made her cautious and guarded. I doubted she would have the courage to try love again. As for me? The same shadow lurked over me as well. I must remember what he did, I thought now, in the presence of this beautiful man before me. Men leave once the bloom of youth is gone. They find a younger version of their wives in an attempt to recapture their own youth perhaps? Or was it purely man’s instinct to seek the young, with their firm thighs and taut skin? Was it purely physical? I didn’t know and probably never would. My own father would certainly give little insight. Especially since I hadn’t spoken to him in years. I hadn’t even recognized myself in the blowout we’d had. The venom that spewed from my mouth was not only for what he’d done to our family with his desertion but the ways in which he’d undermined us all when he presented the model husband and father to the outside world. Total hypocrite.
I returned my attention to Darby and immediately melted. He had such a strong yet vulnerable presence—an openness to him that drew me to him and weakened my defenses.
