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“Seeing the kids learn and take in new ideas gives me a huge high. I cannot lie.” He glanced toward me before scanning the lot for a parking spot in front of the lodge. “I also just love to nerd out about literature.”
“I agree. That’s why I majored in English even though I wasn’t sure what good it would do me in life.”
“You’re doing fine.” He pulled perfectly straight into a parking space and shut off the car, then turned to face me. “Also, you look absolutely spectacular. That dress.”
I flushed, pleased. “Thanks. You look nice too.” He wore a light-knit black sweater with a mock turtleneck collar that accentuated his spectacular jawline and a pair of dark denim jeans that hugged his muscular thighs.
“I should have said something earlier.” He reached across to brush something from my cheek. A piece of lint or hair. I wanted to grab his hand and place it next to my heart to show him how he made it beat wildly. Of course I didn’t. Way too much. Even I knew that.
“But you took my breath away, and my speech too,” Darby said. “It won’t be hard to pretend you’re my girlfriend.”
“Darby?” My voice was uncharacteristically quiet and a little husky.
“Yeah?”
“Is it just pretend? Us, I mean.”
His eyes softened. “It’s not pretend. To me, at least. What about you?”
“Not for me either.”
“But?”
“There’s no but,” I said. “Only an uncertainty about what’s really going on here. It’s been a long time since I cared about anything besides my business. You know, I’ve had to be singularly focused, on every decision about what would get me closer to my dreams. I’m afraid to let myself get wrapped up with you. That’s the truth.”
“Why? Because it distracts you from work?”
“Not that exactly, although part of me worries I’ll lose everything if I let myself fall in love. Mostly, though, I’m afraid it will destroy me when you leave.”
He breathed in my words and seemed to pull them from the air with his hand and bring them close to his chest. “Because ultimately, men leave. Isn’t that what you think, deep down?”
“That’s what I think. And it’s not that deep down. Isn’t it only a matter of time for women? Even if they get two good decades with a man, he leaves her when she’s no longer in full bloom?”
“You’ve seen that with your parents. I lost my mom when I was young. What does that leave us with, though? A life where we don’t love because we’re afraid to be left? Is that really living?”
“Probably not, but it’s less scary than being all-in with everything.”
He lifted my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Is it so hard to believe that a man could love you forever? The right man, that is. One who will relish your aging body and graying hair, thinking good Lord, I’m a lucky bastard to grow old with the most exciting woman I’ve ever met.”
“Is that what you think? Of me?” I blushed, hot and embarrassed. Why couldn’t I keep my words inside my head instead of letting them all spill out this way?
“Yes, Jamie, I think you’re the most exciting and interesting woman I’ve ever spent time with. Is that so hard to believe?”
“It is.” Out of the corner of my eye, a pink coat caught my attention. Arianna.
Darby placed his hand over my knee. “Even so, your feelings of inadequacy have no bearing on what I really feel, what I see. Okay?”
I smiled back at him. My bottom lip trembled from the surge of emotions flooding through me.
“Will it ruin your lipstick if I kiss you?” Darby asked softly, twisting a finger into a long lock of my hair.
“I wouldn’t care if it did.” I breathed in the scent of him, shaving soap and a subtle spicy cologne. The orange light slanted through the side windows. His eyelashes, fine and stick-straight but dark, seemed to wave at me when he blinked. He’d shaven before he picked me up, I thought, noticing a small nick near his cleft chin. “Does it make it hard to shave?” I gently rubbed the indentation with my thumb.
He covered my hand with his, holding my gaze. “A little, yes. Do you hate my cleft?”
“What, no. Why would I?”
“One time when she was drunk, Arianna told me it made my chin look like a butt.” His gaze flickered toward the entrance of the lodge, where pink-coated Arianna and the man who must be Rob, dressed in a gray blazer and jeans, were walking through the double doors.
