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“You could have taken a few days to recover from your injuries. Could have explained what was going on.” She brushed a tear from her cheek. “I was frightened for you. There were things we needed to discuss, but you left!”
“I know, and I’m heartily sorry for that. For a long time, I have been on my own with only myself to worry about. I never needed to take someone else’s feelings into consideration. It’s something I’m working at changing.” A grin tugged on the corners of his mouth. “But it’s a new way of living, so please grant me latitude?” When she nodded, he continued. “I saw a surgeon while in Town.” He took her hand in his free one. Warmth tingled up to her elbow. “Since the ball went straight though, there will be no permanent damage, though healing will take some months.”
“You are incredibly fortunate infection didn’t set in.” She couldn’t have borne the news that he’d succumbed to the same beast her husband had.
“Don’t I know it?” For long moments he remained silent, doing nothing more than holding her gaze, and the play of emotions there was most spectacular. “Regardless, the removal from Ravenscroft House gave me much needed time to think.”
“What happened to the treasure?”
He shrugged and then a grimace crossed his features. “I gave it into my superior’s care. From there, they will either return the pieces to their rightful owners or no doubt auction others.” His Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow. “There were a few pieces, though, I made them promise to donate to the British Museum… in your name.”
Her heart squeezed. “That is a lovely gesture.”
“You deserve that and so much more.”
“I assume you have been cleared in killing a peer?” That would have been a sticky wicket indeed had he not.
“Of course. The Home Office tidied up the case quite properly. It’s how things are done.” His brow creased with worry. “But none of that is why I’m here now.”
“Oh?”
“No. You see, there has been a matter weighing heavily on my mind for days now, ever since the night of the Christmas Eve ball.” Before she could respond, he’d edged off the sofa and then kneeled on one knee in front of her. “This is rather awkward with using only one arm.”
Despite the butterflies in her lower belly, concern for him came to the forefront. “Your wound isn’t critical, is it?”
“No, no, nothing like that. The bleeding has stopped. Dressing only needs changing twice a day now. Once it’s completely scarred over, I can begin to exercise it.” He took possession of her hand again. “Please, don’t distract me from my purpose.”
“I apologize for caring about your well-being.” If the response was sharper than intended, she couldn’t help it. She would always worry over him.
“Ah, how could I ever be parted so long from my tart-mouthed widow?” Amusement wove through his baritone. “Fuss all you want, sweeting, for it is my hope we will never be parted again.”
Did that mean…? Was he truly doing this? Her pulse raced in her veins as she waited for his next words.
“I’m not a man of flowery prose or poetry, and I have never been one to let something drag on with hints and innuendo.” Then he sighed. “Of course, I’m making a muck of this.” He kissed her hand as he held her gaze. “I love you, Belle. How it happened or when is anyone’s guess, but I knew it beyond all doubt during that Christmas Eve ball, and I knew it once more when I saw you beating the carriage driver senseless with his own boot.”
She giggled. “I had no weapon so needed to improvise.”
“Thank the gods you did.” When he grinned, her world titled. “Regardless, we have this pretend engagement, put forth because I wanted to protect you from Ravenscroft—”
“—as well as to have greater access to all areas of the house,” she interrupted with an arched eyebrow.
“There is that.” Delight twinkled in his eyes. “Now, I would like to experience a real engagement with you. Hell, I believe I’m done with the preliminaries and want to marry you. As soon as it’s decent to do so because I cannot bear to pass another day outside of your company.”
“Oh, Hawk.” Her hand trembled in his. This was exactly what she’d hoped for when she’d been that silly widgeon and had fallen for him, but now that she could look at the situation clearly, doubts had cropped up. “Please know that I love you too.” When he would have pressed for a kiss, she held her hand to his chest. “However, I don’t want to be hurt again, to have a broken heart if something were to happen to you. I couldn’t bear to know you perished during a mission for the Home Office.”
“I understand.” Those intense ice blue eyes of his darkened, and she nearly drowned in those stormy seas. “Life is messy no matter where we find ourselves.Loveis messy. It hurts, it heals, it brings joy and sorrow, but at least you are using your heart. That is the point of trulyliving, sweeting. The not knowing makes everything that much more poignant.”
Drat him, he presented a valid point. “You live in London.”
“I do, and I would be overjoyed if you would consent to come with me. Though I currently have rooms at the Albany, I make a decent enough income that I can rent a modest townhouse in an unassuming part of Mayfair.”
If there was one thing this Christmastide had taught her, it was she had everything within her to start over again in a new life—one of her choosing. But perhaps he needed further teasing. After all, where was the fun if she made winning her too easy? “I’ll wager you got a cut of the treasure, so that doesn’t hurt your coffers either.”
His laughter warmed her from head to toe. “It does not.”
Moving away from Ravenscroft House and everything she’d grown accustomed to was a big leap. “But thetonis so…”
As she searched for words, Hawk leapt into the silence. “Don’t look at it as an evil entity. Perceive it as a challenge, and if you cannot, put thetonand its people from your mind.” He shifted his stance and kneeled on both knees. “Those judgments don’t matter. You donotneed their validation; neither do I. We shall make the life we want because you and I are good together.”
