AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I pull into the docks. I want to see the boat. The one we were on when I gave Josh my virginity and, apparently, my heart and sanity, too.
I don’t remember the name of it. You’d think I would. But I do remember that it had red paint stripes along the side. The other boat had blue ones. Josh would go out in the one with the red stripes. His older brother Isaiah would take the one with blue stripes.
I pull up to the parking lot across from the docks, because I don’t want anyone to see my car right in front of his boat. I park and get out. I walk to the end of the pier. That’s where I remember their boats being docked. Sure enough, two boats, right next to each other. The blue-striped one, and there, next to it, the red-striped one.
I go a little further so I can read the name of the boat.Like it matters now, right?But I guess it does. I gasp when I see the boat’s name.
Trash.
I may not remember what the name used to be, but it wasn’t calledTrash.I take a seat on the wooden pylon that’s next to the end of the dock. It’s like a perfect stool, and stare at the name. Why that name, of all names? How does he know my mother calls him that? I don’t remember telling him. Did I? Who told him? Is that why? Wait. What if it’s not Josh’s boat? What if it’s not the same vessel that we—
I fight the urge to go on board.It’s trespassing, I tell myself. It’s futile.What are you gonna do when you go on the boat? What are you looking for?Josh. That’s what I’m looking for. And answers, now, since I’m wondering what that afternoon over Thanksgiving was all about. Maybe I’m pissed, thinking that he led me on.
I can’t come up with an answer that makes sense, but I can’t resist it. I have to see if this really is the same boat. There’s only one way to know.
There are no signs of life on board. I’m pretty sure it’s empty. After a quick glance to verify that the docks are really empty on this Christmas Eve, I jump up, sprint toward the boat, and jump on board. Nobody opens the cabin door to find out who came on deck. I breathe a sigh of relief and hope that the door to the cabin isn’t locked. I mean, here at Boar Creek, things are pretty safe, but still, you never know.
Turning on the handle, I push my shoulder against the door, praying it opens. Eureka! It does. I slip inside, and close it behind me
There’s plenty of light coming in from the windows. It’s only early afternoon still. It looks a little different inside. Like it’s been redone some. Is that a woman’s touch that did it? I get jealous, then pull myself up short. I better make sure before I start getting too jealous. Not that I have a right to be...
There it is. The bunk we had sex for the first time ever. Bottom bunk. And if it is the right one, I should be able to see...
I lean down, practically getting into the bed, and click my phone’s flashlight feature on. There it is.
A carved large heart. In the middle of it two sets of initials.JT. And CR.Josh Tamez and Cassie Ransom.
Josh carved it out with his pocketknife the same night I gave him my virginity.
Then I see something that wasn’t there. And it looks newer than the original one.
4-ever.
I freeze, staring at that roughhewn, crude carving. A warmth flows over my body that I can’t identify as any one specific emotion. It’s a flood of emotions. I bite on my lower lip, chewing on it, worrying it.
4-ever.
Touching the wood, I trace it and wonder when he put that there. He never showed it to me. And I’d been in this boat plenty of times before we split up.
I can’t help myself. I lay on the bunk and stare at the carving. Our names. The word 4-ever. Tears rush forward, and they fall. Unimpeded. Unwitnessed.
I cry myself out, until it feels like if I cry anymore, I’ll be dehydrated.
16
PORT HOLES AND MOON BEAMS
CASSIE
A low hum and a vibration against my leg wakes me up. My eyes fly open. Darkness all around. It’s dark, and it feels like I’m in a coffin. The hum and vibration start again. I jerk upward—
And meet the crashing resistance of wood against my forehead. Damn. That hurt. I see little dots in the darkness, and I know those are the dots from smacking my head.
“Fuck.” That really did hurt.
In the quiet of the darkness, my voice sounds loud. I close my mouth. The vibrating hum goes away, and all I hear is the sound of water lapping against the side of the shrimp boat. The shrimp boat he renamedTrash.
The vibrating starts again. And that’s when I get a little more oriented. It’s my phone, for fuck’s sake. My heart rate refuses to go down. Dammit, that scared me. I retrieve my phone. Somehow, it’s underneath me, under my thigh. The glow it emits shows me a couple of things.
