AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I have no clue what that means, but what it does is make me burst into tears. Second choice? Is that something my dad lives with? Who’s the first choice? Jeremy? What’s that even mean? The tears, silent and hot, pour down my cheeks.
My dad gets up and wraps his arms around me. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, baby girl. I’m so sorry. That— I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
Thing is. I’ve known my dad all my life. I know he meant it. I simply don’t know what it means. And beats the hell out of me why it makes me lose control and sob. I chance a glance at Liam. He’s sitting on the couch, and he looks like he knows. See, I know my brother like I know my father. He knows what Dad means. I’m the one in the dark. What dark? Hell if I know. And I don’t know if I want to ask. Do I need another burden on my soul? Another albatross to pull me below water? Something else to give me sorrows to drown in?
“Give me a chance to work on your mother,” Dad says, chucking my chin as though I’m a little child who’s skinned her knee and just needs a little bit of TLC and a bandage to make me better.
39
BETWEEN NEW YEAR’S AND VALENTINE’S
JOSH
Cassie and I had a few good weeks after New Year’s. Then Valentine’s weekend happened. Totally fucked things up. Inexplicably and uncontrollably.
Then things were hectic as hell. With Isaiah and Billie busy taking care of Jericho, someone had to manage the opening of Trashed and the day-to-day operations of Wasted.
I text her, and she doesn’t respond.
Hell, I’d like to say I understand, but I don’t. Why the silence? Liam came by Wasted one day. Okay, actually, it was nighttime. I was tending bar, and like it always seemed, I was shorthanded again.
He stopped in to say she wasn’t doing so hot. That their dad came into town to talk to her and that she’d been more isolated than ever since. He said he stopped by to talk to her but nada. She was like a shadow of her former self. That her eyes were empty and void of emotion.
I’ve texted her, but she doesn’t answer. I’ve called. Same result. Hell, I’ve dropped by her place a couple of times, but she never answers the door. Short of breaking and entering, I don’t know what the fuck I should do. Why’s she shutting me out like this? Why did her mother’s response matter as it has? Enough to lock me out. What the hell?
And I still haven’t been able to share what I need to with her.
I’ve made a decision. Tomorrow morning I’m getting up early and going to see her. I’ve asked Liam to tell her roommates to leave me a key somewhere that I could find it. Supposedly, Riley agreed.
We’ll see.
40
SAWDUST AND PLAYGROUNDS
CASSIE
I hear my roomies taking off for the day and bury my head deeper under the covers. Another day to spend dwelling on the failure that I am. I’m a total let-down to my family. To Josh. And I can’t even respond to him. I’m still dealing with so much internal backlash. Guilt over having a stillborn baby. Guilt about not telling Josh about the baby. Guilt that I wasn’t there for him when his dad took his own life. Guilt that my mother hates me and I’m a disappointment to her. Guilt that my dad—
The sound of a footfall in the hallway catches my attention.
Kara or Cherise must have returned for… something. Nothing for me to concern myself with until—
The door to my room creaks open.
“Hey.”
My heart freezes. Total lockdown while I stop breathing and can’t believe my lying ears.
Except my ears aren’t lying. Neither are my eyes when I peek out from beneath my pillow.
Josh.
What are you doing here?
God, I missed you.
I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring your calls.
