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“I was eighteen. I was a rebel back then. Tough life, hard parents, no siblings. Anyway, I got into some trouble with a bunch of men at a bar one night. Jagger and Ace were there, both sitting and drinking. Four men jumped me, and I had no hope. The two boys jumped in and beat the shit out of them. They helped me, they didn’t even know me, but they helped me. Jagger took me outside and, when I thanked him, you know what he said?”
I shake my head.
“He said, boy, don’t thank me. You change, you hear? You get one chance at life and if you want to pick on people three times the size of you and have your ass kicked, then you go right ahead. But that’s wasting your chance, and you don’t waste your chance on shit like that. You make a choice, and you stick with it. You want me to give you a choice?”
I smile because I could hear Jagger saying something like that. “So, what did you say?” I can’t help but ask.
Bull grins. “I said okay, tell me what you’ve got.”
“What did he say?”
Bull throws his head back and laughs, and then he tilts his head to the side and shows me a faint scar on his jaw. “He hit me so hard my jaw split. Then he took me in, and I’ve been with him since. He gave me a chance, Willow. He gave me a chance when I had nothing else. He believed in me.”
Pride swells in my chest. Jagger manages to find the good in absolutely everyone. Bull pats my hand, the only type of comfort I think he knows how to give.
“Don’t give up, not yet. If he doesn’t want you when all this is done, then there’s just nothing you can do about it. But right now, you have to make your choice, and only you know what’s right.”
I know he’s right. I know only I can make this choice, and I know deep down in my heart I’ve already made it. I want to help Jagger, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out of that place.
Even if it means heartbreak for me.
“RING THIS NUMBER,” Angel says, a few days later, handing me a slip of paper. “I got it from Huck. You can reach Jagger. Tell him to meet us tomorrow night at the wharf.”
He wants me to call Jagger?
Just like that?
As if nothing has happened.
“Huck? Why does his name keep coming up?” I say, instead.
“Jagger and Huck go way back when he was involved with your father. While Huck was a cop, Jagger and he had a deal. I don’t quite know what it was, but he trusts Huck and Huck has helped him out of a few situations. He’s got information and he can get access to some serious shit that we could never imagine. He’s of good use to us, when we need.”
“I don’t know, Angel ...”
“Trust me on this. Don’t back down this time. Stand your ground and tell him you have something to tell him and it’s urgent. Will you do it?”
I hesitate. I can do this. I have to do this. Right? I have been telling myself for the last few days that Bull is right and Jagger didn’t mean what he said. I have been assuring myself that I’m doing this for Jagger, not for me. It’s not about me. So, I dial the number and hold the phone to my ear. My hand trembles. It answers on the first ring, and when Jagger’s voice comes across the speaker, I feel my heart break a little more.
“Sharleen, if you don’t stop fuckin’ ringing me on a private number, I’m goin’ to lose my shit. We fucked. It was once. Mick doesn’t need to now, so get the fuck over it.”
I pull the phone away from my ear quickly, ending the call. Pain slams into my chest and my fingers shake as the words on the other line repeat over and over in my head. He’s with Sharleen again? How could I be so stupid? He said he moved on and it’s clear that wasn’t a lie. All along, he wasn’t protecting me. He got over me. The pain in my stomach is so intense I struggle to stop myself from doubling over. Angel asks me something, but it doesn’t register. All I can hear is Jagger’s voice. His words.
“Willow?”
I snap my head up and meet Angel’s eyes.
“What happened?”
“Disconnected. Sorry,” I manage.
I can’t tell them. I can’t.
“Fuck it, we’re going to have to go in. Are you with me?”
I meet his gaze, and part of me wants to scream no, that I can’t do it. I want to run from my pain, I want to curl up into a ball and hide from the world, but I can’t do that. It’s not about me now, it’s about my son. It doesn’t matter whether Jagger and I are together or not, I have to do this for Cody. He needs to know about Cody, and if he chooses her so be it, but I owe him enough to get him out of that place. So, for now, I have to pull on my big girl panties—yet again—and suck it up. I look Angel square in the eyes even though I feel like my soul has been ripped from my very body.
