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Everyone is staring at me, quietly shocked. I know I haven’t told anyone about what Mick did on that island, and I probably should have, but when Jagger left I wasn’t thinking about it. I was heartbroken, pregnant, and alone. I haven’t thought about it since, to be honest.
“What else?” Jagger murmurs, but his voice is icy and low.
I had better just get this over and done with.
“He took me to his room and he wanted to sleep with me. I lied and said I had my period. He made me prove it so I used my fingernail to slice my flesh so it looked like I was bleeding. He let me off for the night but he made me get into the bed with him, and ...”
“And what?”
“Jagger, boss, take a breath,” Angel says carefully. “This ain’t her fault.”
“He kissed me, and it was the worst fucking moment of my life.”
“You let him kiss you?”
I swallow and glance at Ava, who is glaring at Jagger.
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t fight him?”
“No, because I was afraid he would let all those men have sex with me. It was a choice, your dad or those men. I would rather kiss Mick a thousand times over then to let multiple men have sex with me. You would have chosen the same, if you were me, and I know it.”
“What else?” Jagger grinds out.
He’s starting to scare me.
I meet his eyes and rattle off everything else that happened. From Sharleen’s confessions to sleeping in that horrid cell. When I’m done, Jagger looks up at me, and his eyes meet mine for long moments. I don’t know how he’s going to react. He swings his eyes toward Ace and grinds out, “Sharleen goes free, but then she answers to me. Make sure of it.”
“Yes, boss.”
Jagger turns back to me. “Stay away from Mick, no matter what happens.”
“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere near him again in my lifetime.”
Jagger nods, and then turns without another word and walks out the front door, slamming it. I sigh and close my eyes. It’s not my fault, and I refuse to take it on as being my fault, but I do feel bad for Jagger, too. He lost his first wife to his father, and hearing about him kissing me, even if it was forced, would be a bitter pill to swallow.
“What just went on?” Ace asks.
I stare over at him, confused. “He’s just hurt ...”
“It was more than that. He is agitated and wound up. His whole body was tense. Is he doing drugs?”
I peer out the window, but I can’t see him. Is he doing drugs? That could explain the mood swings. “I don’t know.”
Then, I walk over to the door and pull on a light coat and walk out. I end up more than halfway down the beach when I find Jagger sitting on some rocks, just staring out at the ocean. I climb over the slippery mounds until I am perched beside him. I stare out at the ocean for long moments too, just enjoying the crystal-blue water crashing against the shoreline. Jagger reaches across and takes my hand.
“I would have done the same thing. You’re right,” he says, “it’s not your fault that you got caught up in that, it’s mine. Don’t ever think I’m blaming you.”
“Are you taking drugs, Jagger?”
He stiffens and his hand clenches around mine. “Not intentionally, but ...”
“But?”
“Mick has me take steroids to bulk up.”
I close my eyes. This is bad. Steroids can be dangerous, but mostly, they can affect someone’s mood to extreme levels. Jagger nearly lost it in there, and that kind of rage is scary, especially with a baby around.
“I know you can’t help what happens while you’re there, but can you try and stop? You’re scaring me, and Cody can’t be around that ...”
“I’ll do my best, you know I’d do anything for you and Cody.”
“I know,” I say softly.
“I can’t fuckin’ lose him, Willow. I’ve lost you so many times, if I lose him, too ...”
I grip his jaw and turn him to face me, his blue eyes scan my face. “Don’t you think like that. We’re going to be okay. I promise you.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
I narrow my eyes. “We can’t think like that.”
“If anything happens to me, promise you’ll ...”
“Stop,” I say, putting my hand up. “Don’t do that. We’re going to be fine.”
I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince. Me or him. He grips my chin and pulls my lips up to his. When they press together, I groan and take hold of his neck, pulling him forward. He growls and snakes his tongue out, tangling it with mine until our lips are moving in that perfect, sexual dance. He pulls back panting and runs a thumb over my swollen lips.
