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“I know.”
Angel takes my hand, and stares down at me. I close my eyes, trying to squash the pain down. Cody can’t see me like this, he can’t.
“He was beside himself worryin’ about how you were. Mick came and he had to go.”
“He didn’t even say goodbye ...”
“I’m sorry.”
I have no doubt he’s sorry.
They’re all sorry.
I’m sorry.
None of that changes anything.
“I just want to be alone? Can I please be alone?”
Angel stares at me for long moments. “I’ll get him back, Willow. I swear it.”
“I hope so,” I whisper, “because my soul can’t take much more of this.”
Slowly, little by little, I’m running out of air.
12
JAGGER
“You need more stitches,” Sharleen says, pressing a cloth to my lip.
I grumble. That bastard could hit. Split my lip three different ways. I won all the same. Winning doesn’t feel good anymore. It feels blank. Empty. Sharleen removes the cloth and grimaces.
“Want me to do it?” I mutter. “If you can’t handle it, pass it over.”
She glares at me, and I return it with full force.
“Don’t be a damned asshole.”
I don’t answer her. She prepares the needle and thread and then leans in. I hate when she’s this close to me. Once I loved it. I couldn’t get enough of her but now ... She makes me sick, angry even. Her eyes scan my face, but I refuse to meet them. When she pulls the needle through my lip, I tense. Fuck, I am used to this but it still burns. It burns more than just my lip.
It burns my fucking soul.
“All done,” she says as she ties off after the last thread.
I move out of her way and stand, cracking my knuckles. My shoulders ache, and my head isn’t in the game tonight. All I can think about is Willow and how she begged me the other night not to go. I hung up on her, just hung up as though her call meant nothing to me. I’ll fucking end this. I have to end this.
I need to go home to my family.
“What’s the fucking problem, Jagger?”
I spin to see Mick storming in, shaking his head. His fists are clenched by his sides, and he’s red in the face. He’s pissed that I didn’t put my all in, and I wished I cared about that little fact, but I don’t. He can drop dead for all I care.
“What?” I mutter, strapping my hands for the next fight.
“Your head ain’t in the game. Get it back in.”
“I’m winning, aren’t I?”
“You’ve taken more hits tonight than any other night, winning is hardly the point. Your reputation, our reputation, is sinking.”
“It’s one fucking fight, Mick. Settle down.”
He storms over, his blue eyes pierce mine. “It’s not one fucking fight, it’s everything. I won’t tell you again, son, get your head in the game or I’ll fucking make you.”
I can’t wait to make him pay. His day is coming, oh yeah, it’s coming. I spin around and head back out to the screaming crowd, sweat dripping down my face as soon as I step into the ring.
Here I go ... again.
WILLOW
I’m just coming back from the store. The sun is setting, and I’m alone. Jenny has Cody at the apartment; she took him so I could go and fetch something for dinner. Ace said it’s safe enough for me to go, as long as I’m not at their apartment complex. Of course, it’s to be expected that one day I might come and visit them, but mostly, we don’t want Mick to know about Cody so it’s safer that I stay away. There is a store right near the little house we’re in, and I’ve been assured that I should have no problem going into it.
Still, I can’t help but worry.
Mick is likely only watching the guys, he has no reason to look anywhere else. He simply wants to make sure Jagger isn’t doing anything he shouldn’t be.
I stare at the sunset and sigh, trying to take my mind off the worry. Something so beautiful just isn’t special to me anymore. Nothing is, and I hate that. I hate what I’ve become. I’m just waiting for some cars to pass, so I can cross the street, when suddenly a hand is curling around my arm and pulling me backward. I yelp, but a hand goes over my mouth to prevent me screaming.
“It’s me.”
Jagger. Oh god. I spin around, dropping the groceries, and I leap on him. I wrap my legs around his waist and bury my head into his shoulder. I breathe him in, inhaling deeply. He holds me tight, wrapping his arms around me and pressing me up against a nearby wall. He buries his nose into my hair and breathes me in, just like I’m doing.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you.”
“You came.”
I pull back and look at him. He has a black eye and three lots of stitches in his lip. God damn, it’s getting worse. One day, he won’t make it out of one of those fights, I know it, and he knows it. We have to finish this.
