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“Maybe,” I say, with new determination. A new desire to end this. “But we can put one big explosive down in the right place, finish as many of them as we can.”
“How? He’ll have the place monitored.”
“Easy. I’ll plant it. I’ll build it while I’m there and plant it.”
“Dude, that’s risky.”
“I need to fix this. I need her to know it wasn’t me. Trust me, the plan still goes ahead. I won’t let him fuck with my life any longer.”
“Fine, but she needs out of it. Her life is in danger, Jagger, she can’t be involved. We need to keep her clear of it.”
“I have to tell her I didn’t do it.”
“No, it’s too risky. Let her hurt, it’s more realistic that way. We’ll make sure she doesn’t run, but if she knows it wasn’t you then she’s back in a dangerous situation. Trust me, let her believe it for now.”
“It’ll break her,” I growl.
“No, she’s strong. Stronger now than she’s ever been. We’ll get the plan moving and finish this so you can come back to her. You can fix it then. Let us keep her safe until you can.”
“I’m going to the island tomorrow. I’ll have the bomb done in two days. We blow next Thursday.”
“That’s soon.”
“I’m done waiting. I’ll organize a boat to get the girls out on. You guys just need to get here. I’ll tell you how to do that soon, right now I have to go.”
“Fine, we’ll be in touch.”
“Ace?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t let her run.”
“Yeah, man, I won’t.”
Fuck, I hope we’re doing the right thing.
WILLOW
It burns.
My heart burns. I can’t stop the image from swirling around in my brain. I can’t move it from my mind. It’s there, day in, day out, haunting me. I have cried so much there’s nothing left. I can’t get the pain to leave my heart, it hurts every damn day. Every single agonizing second. It has been three days since Jagger called, and the guys have gone off to help him. They told me they were going ahead with the plan, because they owed him that, but after they assured me that I would have their support until I knew what I wanted to do.
Ava and Jenny are with me, both have been made to ensure I don’t run while they’re gone. Where would I run to? Right now, I’ve got nothing to run with. Cody is restless and cries every night, I know he’s picking it up from me and I hate that I’m doing that to him. I hate that I let myself slip and fall for Jagger’s charms. I should have known. I should have always known that Sharleen would be a problem. He loved her. That doesn’t just fade.
Part of me tries to justify his actions. He’s alone, he’s unhappy, he’s numb. She’s there when I’m not. She helps him and has helped him with all his fights. I try to justify it, but it makes me feel no better. Part of me wonders if all along he’s been seeing her. The phone call a few weeks ago, seeing her at the fight with him. He told me he did that on purpose to scare me off, but did he? I don’t know what to believe anymore.
Everything is a mess.
Ava walks into the living room where I’m standing, staring out the window. I stand here a lot, just staring into nothingness. Everything feels like it’s moving around me, but my world has just stopped. Nothing is moving forward, it feels as though I’m living the same day over and over again. I know I need to do something, because if I don’t, I’m going to keep going around and around in this circle and I can’t move on if I stay here, living like this.
Putting a hand to my shoulder, Ava’s voice comes out whispered. “How are you feeling today, honey?”
I shrug, not looking at her. “Same as yesterday, but I’ve decided today I’m going to do something about it.”
“Willow, you know they don’t want you involved.”
I put my hand up, slowly turning to face her. “I’m not getting involved, but I need to find out something. I need to know how Mick found out about our plans and I know exactly where to start.”
“Mary.”
I nod. “I’m going to talk to her. I have to confront her. She could have killed her own nephew. She needs to know that.”
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Ava asks, narrowing her eyes.
“Nothing you say can change my mind. I want to go home, but before I can do that, I need answers. I need to know I wasn’t crazy for not trusting her. Can you watch Cody for an hour? It won’t take long.”
“Willow...”
I reach out, placing my hands on her shoulders. “I have to do this.”
“Ok,” she sighs, “I’ll watch him, but you need to be careful. Please.”
