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So even though my heart is aching, and I would rather do anything else than face the world today, I follow her down the stairs, where sure enough, an entire team of hair and makeup artists waits for us. Now she’s every bit the happy, blushing bride, accepting a mimosa that one of the makeup people offers.
They offer me one as well, but I shake my head. “No, thank you. I had a little too much at the rehearsal dinner.”
I wish more than anything I could blink and magically be transported to tonight after all this is over.
Instead, I take a seat and let the professionals get to work on me. With Mom chattering on and on in her excited way, at least nobody will expect me to join in the conversation. I can sit here and be miserable alone—which in the end, is not so different from my normal life, anyway.
CHAPTER 14
“Can you believe I’m nervous?” My mother laughs softly while checking herself out in her compact, adding a little more powder to her nose as she talks. “James is the one thing in life I’ve ever been completely sure of, but I’m still jittery.”
I’ll try not to take that personally. “You look beautiful. And you know he loves you. You have nothing to be nervous about.”
“I just want everything to go off without a hitch. For once, I need everything to be perfect.”
“It will be.” I’m not even thinking about what I’m saying anymore. The words flow out of me like I’m a robot. I feel numb more than anything else. I’m still angry, but it’s cooled to a simmer. It has to since I can’t spend the entire day full of fiery, murderous rage. I’m still going to have to play nice and pretend to be part of a happy family today.
“This is it. This is the start of our new life. Finally, I’m going to get what I deserve.” I turn away from her, looking out the car window as the driver takes us the rest of the way to the venue. I know better than to correct her. Besides, she didn’t make a mistake. She’s only thinking about herself, as usual. She doesn’t care about what I deserve.
At least I have an excuse to separate from her once we get inside, where guests are already filing in through the front door while we sneak in through the side. “You’ll sit up front,” she tells me before pausing so the photographer can get a shot of her—without me in it, of course.
“I’m not walking down the aisle in front of you?”
“No,” she says with a laugh, looking at me like I’m out of my mind. There I was, thinking I was her bridesmaid or something. There I go again, assuming the best from her. “You’ll sit in the front row, but you’re not going to stand up with me. Nobody is going to steal the focus from me today.” If anything, this is preferable to standing up in front of everybody so they can see me, the girl who got raped by her stepbrother last night.
And here he is, taking a seat in the front row across the aisle separating us. He and Nix both look impressive in their fancy tuxedos. They might even be able to fool people into thinking they’re decent. I won’t let myself look at them. I won’t give them the satisfaction.
As usual, I have no choice in the situation. “Ew. Look at her. She’s barely wearing anything.”
My body goes stiff, my blood turns to ice, and my skin pebbles with goose bumps. I would know Deborah’s voice anywhere. “She can’t even help but be trashy today of all days. I can’t believe you were ever friends with her. I swear, sometimes I still wonder about you, Piper.”
She’s here, too? I slide a look to my right from the corner of my eye, and my stomach drops. Deborah and Piper are my stepbrothers’ dates. Unbelievable. It’s like every aspect of their lives has to ruin mine somehow. The girls are wearing beautiful dresses, both of which are a normal length compared to mine. When Piper winds her arm through Colt’s, I know she’s his date. If I thought it would make a difference, I’d tell her what he did to me last night, but she would only find it funny.
Again, I have to call upon the part of my mind I toughened up for competition. They can’t get to me. They’re nothing, people with no lives at all. I would like to think if I was popular and came from a wealthy family, I would be a little nicer to people.
Today is about Mom and James, anyway. When the music begins, and we all rise, it gives me an excuse to turn my attention in that direction.
