Page 82 of Lock Me Inside


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All I have to do is make it up the stairs when it feels like this damn plug is going to fall out of my ass at any time. But it doesn’t, staying firmly in place as I crawl back into bed and curl into a ball, wishing I could go to sleep and wake up and have it be tomorrow already. That the whole nightmare in front of me would already be over, and I could move on.

It’s only a few hours before my door unlocks again. Instead of barging straight in, Colt eases the door open, peering at the bed like he’s expecting me to be asleep. As it turns out, I did drift off in the middle of the book I was reading, but I got up to use the bathroom.

And the moment I got out of bed, I remembered the plug in my ass. I actually managed to forget about it for a little bit. It was nice.

I did something else, too, and the effect is just starting to kick in. “I’m awake,” I tell him, and he opens the door wider before stepping inside.

Immediately, my gaze is drawn to what he’s holding in his hand. “You can’t be serious,” I whisper, my eyes bulging at yet another plug, this one thicker and longer than the one I’m wearing now.

“It’s for your own good. Just to make sure you’re ready.”

“That thing looks like it’s going to tear me apart,” I whisper, revolted at the sight of it.

He looks down at it, tilting his head to the side. “This thing is like half the size of my cock.”

And he’s right. “Please, don’t remind me,” I mutter in absolute misery. But even the misery isn’t as bad as it was before, thanks to that double dose of pills I took around twenty minutes ago. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. Nix keeps talking about wine to take the edge off, but I would much rather take my pills. At least I know nobody tampered with those.

“I can help you if you want.” Clearly, he’s not going to back down on this. I guess in the end, he’s trying to do it for me, so I can’t be mad. Instead, I roll to my side, facing away from him, then work my pants down all over my hips while he squirts lube on the new plug. This cannot be over quickly enough.

“Breathe out,” he tells me, and a moment later, I feel his fingers back there. He gently but firmly pulls the plug free, and I gasp in surprise as my nerve endings fire all at once. It’s not an unpleasant sensation, but there’s no way I could possibly enjoy it under the circumstances. Now that the plug is out, I feel… open. It’s so weird.

I flinch at the sensation of the cool lube touching my asshole. “I want to make sure this goes in easily,” he murmurs in explanation. “Now, just like before. Breathe out and relax.”

I close my eyes and do what he says, gripping a pillow tight. To my relief, it doesn’t hurt. The pills were a great idea.

“See? Nothing to it. And now you’ll be in better shape for tonight.” He goes into the bathroom and washes his hands, but to my surprise, he comes back to the bed rather than leaving me alone. Honestly, I’m not sure which I’d rather have him do right now. It isn’t exactly that I want to be alone all the time, but if the alternative is talking to him?

He doesn’t stop at sitting with me, either. No, he stretches out across the bed, lying beside me. “Do you want me to do it now?”

“Huh?”

“Fuck your ass?”

“Why in the world would I want you to do it now?”

“I’d be gentle. It would be just the two of us. It’s your first time, so I thought it might help.”

I’m still on my side, facing him. He is on his back, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. From this angle, I get a perfect shot of his profile. Strong jaw, soft lips, a smooth-shaved face, and eyes that hide so many dark thoughts.

I take a few deep breaths, taking in the fresh scent of his shampoo and aftershave while trying my best to figure him out. What could possibly be going on in his head?

And then it clicks.

It’s your first time, so I thought it might help. He’s referring to my first time with anal today, but what about my actual first time?

“The night of the rehearsal dinner. Did you have sex with me because you thought it would be easier on me?”

“Yes,” he flat-out admits. “We knew you were a virgin, and we figured it would be better for you this way.”

“We?”

“Nix and I.”

I take a minute to let that sink in. My whole perception shifts, and I remember what happened that night in a different way. I don’t know what to think. I didn’t want it to happen like it did, but thinking about how my first time would have been downstairs with James watching has bile rising in my throat.

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