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She doesn’t know it, but she’s saying exactly the kind of thing I need to hear right now. All of a sudden, my legs are too weak to hold me up, so I plop down beside her on the bed. “I don’t know if I should tell you or not.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable talking about, but I’m here for you. So whenever you feel comfortable, just let me know. The least I can do is listen. And I’ll tell you something else,” she adds in a softer voice. “I noticed when we were at the gym together that you didn’t look very good. I’m not trying to insult you, I swear. You looked kind of pale and extra tired, run down. I was already worried about you, but I knew you wouldn’t want to hear me talk about it. Nobody wants to be told they’re not looking good, but especially not when it’s somebody who hurt them.”
“I have really missed having you to talk to,” I admit in a whisper. “I have really needed you the past few weeks.”
“Leni, please tell me. What’s happening?”
I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but I have to. I’ll die if I don’t get it out. It will eat a hole through me just like if I swallowed acid. This isn’t the kind of thing I can carry around for the rest of my life. “You have to promise this stays between us. At least until I figure out what I want to do about it. Swear it.”
“I swear. I won’t say a word to anybody.”
I’ll test her a little bit first. Just to see how she reacts. “You know, now that I think about it, you didn’t go back to the house after Mom’s wedding. It was just Deborah.”
“Yeah.” Her teeth sink into her lip. “They were being weird. They all had way too much to drink, and nobody wants to be the sober person around a bunch of drunks. But I don’t know, Deborah kept talking about you, too. And she kept saying things like how she was going to take both of them on that night. I didn’t want to be any part of it. Really, I haven’t talked to her since that night. I don’t know why I ever… forget it.” Her cheeks are red now, and her lips pursed tight.
I believe her because that’s exactly what Deborah would say—she probably did screw them both that night, come to think of it. “Did either of the guys ever tell you why they hate me like they do?”
“Honestly, they never really got into specifics. But they did say that you were kind of obsessed with them.”
“Like how I had to go to that party? Where I ended up in the pool?”
“Yeah, honestly. They sort of made it sound like you forced your way into it.”
“Do you seriously think I would force my way into that party? Nobody even wanted me there. You know me better than that.”
“I do. I sort of thought they were full of shit.”
“And that so-called job at the gym. I bet they made it seem like I was just tagging along with them, following them around.” Her head bobs up and down. “Does that make any sense, either?”
“No, I thought it was really weird.”
“What if I told you they’ve been setting me up all this time? They wanted to make it look like I was obsessed with them. Do you want to see what else they did? Honestly, this might be the most disgustingly brilliant part about the whole thing.” I stand up and lower my pants just enough for her to see the tattoo. “Now you tell me. Would I ever, ever get anything like this on my own?”
“What? No way!” She leans in, eyes going wide, her nose wrinkling. “You’re saying they gave you this? How?”
“They drugged me. Put it in my food and told me it was because they were having a party and didn’t want me getting in the way. But I got this, too. To make it look like I was totally obsessed with them.”
“I don’t get it, though. Why? Why go to all that trouble?”
This is it. This is where she either believes me or calls me a liar, and I know this was all a waste of time. I have to tell myself I can trust her. I need to.
“Remember, you don’t tell anybody about this.”
She gulps but nods, looking me straight in the eye.
So I tell her. I tell her all of it, even the parts I’m too ashamed to admit. All about James, all the awful things he made me do. From the hand around my throat in the hallway to that last night when he turned everything around on me.
And by the time I’m finished, we’re both crying. “I haven’t left this room except to get something to eat since I got here. You are the first person I’ve spoken to since that night. I can’t sleep. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I keep thinking they’re going to come back for me. I can’t believe it’s all over, even though I want it to be, so much. I want to go to the police, but I’m so fucking scared that no one will believe me.”
