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I kept my eyes on the floor as Mrs. Purdy opened the office door and led us back out to the reception area.
“Joan,” I heard her saying, her voice sounding distant, thanks to how wrapped up in my thoughts I had involuntarily become, “will you be able to come to the club tomorrow to have lunch with Mrs. Williams? Amanda, Joan’s a newlywed, too—she and her husband just moved to Rocky Falls a few months ago. I think she’ll have some good advice for you.”
I looked at the pretty young woman, who smiled up at me a little shyly.
“Definitely, Mrs. Purdy,” she said, glancing over at her boss before returning her attention to me. “Amanda, I’m sure you’re nervous—I was too. But I’m guessing you’ll love Rocky Falls.”
CHAPTER14
Mandy
The house they had given us was at least twice as big as my childhood home, where my parents had raised three children. I had shared a bedroom with my sister, but this house had four bedrooms; room for as many kids as I had ever imagined having. I stood in the kitchen, looking at the fridge, remembering what Mrs. Purdy said about the New Modesty stocking it for us. I couldn’t even summon up the courage to open it, afraid of what I would find, and how it would affect me.
Rick had wandered off—this beautiful modern colonial had enough space for your husband towander off, I realized with another little turn of my belly. I thought I could hear him in what I supposed we would call the den, if we actually lived here. Surely, if we did move to this town, they wouldn’t give us a house like this one, though? This was just to make sure we were impressed, right?
But Rick had an opportunity to become an executive… and this house represented the kind of mini mansion that I associated with words likeexecutiveandbusinessman.
I couldn’t stop looking at the gleaming refrigerator, with its double doors. I had my right hand on the smooth, cool handle of the freezer. For the first time I glanced out the huge picture window of the great room, visible over the enormous marble-topped island, to see in the setting sun that the house had a pool, too. The time on the microwave said 6:43.
What had Mrs. Purdy said?
Amanda will be able to get something ready for you quickly.At 6:43 a good wife would almost have dinner on the table at the very least, wouldn’t she? In my house growing up, dinner would already be over by that time, but I took some comfort in knowing Rick liked to eat later.
But, my brain put in,that wasn’t the way you pictured it, was it?
I had pictured us cooking together, when we cooked, and, frankly, having takeout a lot of the time. I didn’t hate cooking, but I definitely didn’t have any skill at it, and I hadn’t planned to acquire any. I had babysat a good deal, and I could defrost a mean kids’ meal. I had assumed Rick and I would have frozen food and takeout until the children arrived, at which point we would all be eating mac and cheese for the next twenty years or so.
Really,a slightly different part of my brain said,you didn’t think this through, did you?
I looked back at the refrigerator, thinking again of Mrs. Purdy’s little speech. She hadn’t actually saidcook, had she? As if she knew I couldn’t. And the freezer, she had told us, would be stocked, too.
I opened it, fighting the suction that held the door tightly closed and blinking at the wave of cold that swept outward and the mist that cleared to reveal an array of frozen food so complete and luxurious that it brought a little sob up from my chest. I could get Rick and me by for a week just on the stuff in here.
See,said a more forgiving voice inside my head,you can feed your husband the way he deserves.
Deserves.The sob became tears at the corners of my eyes.No, Rick deserves more, doesn’t he. Yes, I could feed him deluxe frozen dinners for the rest of his life, but that’s not how I want to live, or how I want my husband to live.
I closed the freezer and opened the refrigerator. I frowned at the intimidating sight of the contents…ingredients, all of them. Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I closed that compartment and let my hand fall to my side as I gazed blankly at the gleaming surface of the closed doors.
You didn’t think this through, did you?
Well… I had thought through a very different kind of marriage, hadn’t I? One with much more fast food and many fewer ingredients.
No, the voice insisted,you didn’t even thinkthatthrough, did you? You didn’t really think about…
I heard Rick’s step behind me just as my face puckered at the memory of all the distressing things Mrs. Purdy had said about… I swallowed hard, forcing the word into my mind… intimacy.
Rick came close. I felt his arms go around me from behind. I tensed for a moment against his embrace, expecting that he would get the signal and step away, but to my surprise he kept holding me, until with a sob I yielded, relaxing and moving my own arms up to hold his—no, really, to cling to his strong upper arms, as if their strength could reach into my heart and mind and sort them out.
He nuzzled my ear, kissed my neck. To my dismay, my body responded without any conscious intention on my part. I felt myself practically jerk into him, rub my back and even my rear end against his muscular front.
“Let’s order pizza,” Rick said in my ear. “There’s a place that delivers.”
I gave a little sob, feeling utterly unable to express the many, many emotions his words stirred—far too many, I thought, for so very simple a thing.
“Okay,” was all I could say.
“Hey,” Rick said, holding me more tightly against him. “I know it’s a lot, and it’s happening fast, but… I mean… the house is pretty great, right?”
