“Gerard!” Ellen called out fearfully. “Please come down this instant.”
Gerard laughed instead and began to walk back and forth. “There was a time I could not do any of this. Run in the wind, roam the night.” He smiled faintly. “I was a sickly child. I had a rulebook too. When boys my age dueled and rode horses, I was locked in the Manor. Perhaps, my loathing for the Manor stems from the days I spent looking out with desire for the open.”
Ellen could not imagine Gerard ever being weak. He was too vibrant, too full of life. But Gerard continued, “My father, I believe, was ashamed of me. While others spoke highly of their heirs, he maintained silence. He would not call me his heir until he could sire another he was proud of. He despised my illness…he despised me,” he paused.
“Surely, your father did not despise you,” Ellen replied sadly. She could see the hurt in his eyes no matter how hard he tried to mask it behind his wolfish grin.
“Oh, but he did,” said the Earl. “One night, I was of the poorest health. The servants thought I had met my end. The medicines did no good. I cried for my father, but he did not come until dawn. He came in and pulled me out of the bed. My legs were too weak, and I fell as they hit the ground. He raised me up by the hands. My mother pleaded that he let me go, but he declined. He took me to the open field and asked me to walk on my own. I fell flat the moment he let go.”
“Oh Gerard,” Ellen whispered softly, not knowing how to offer him some comfort.
Gerard continued, “When he saw I would not get up, what he did next hurt worse than anything. He looked down at me with such…such disappointment. I died a little on the inside that day. Fortunately for me, luck was on my side because the Dowager Countess, my grandmother as you know, was in Ridlington, and she was making her rounds to check in on my state. She had witnessed what happened and scolded my father. It was my grandmother who decided to take me with her to Bath. We consulted many doctors and went from one healing house to another in search of a cure. She was adamant that I would get better, so she dragged me out of the house as much as she could, and I did get better. Everything I am, I owe to her.”
Ellen felt her heart swell with more respect for the Dowager Countess. Ellen had known already that she was a formidable woman, but hearing what she did for her grandson now caused Ellen’s respect for the woman to triple.
“I have lived a life of restrictions, and I know that you do not want that,” Gerard said and finally came off the railings. “You do not want to spend your days in misery, do you?” he asked.
“No. No, I do not,” Ellen replied. She knew that she had reached a point of no return. As they crossed the bridge, it was symbolic for her that she had broken free of her shyness and constant need to prove her worth to her mother and the rest of theton. A fire was growing within her, and she would by no means quench it.
“Aha, the right choice,” Gerard beamed. He suddenly leaned into her, his warm breath fanning the right side of her face. “For life bears many pleasures, My Lady,” he whispered, grazing her ear with his lips.
Ellen drew closer to him, instinctively wanting more. More of what, she could not tell, but she knew she did not want the evening to end.
Gerard stepped back. “The hour is late. Did you not wish to head back?”
Ellen glanced up at him, disappointed. Gerard’s earlier vulnerable expression was now replaced by an unreadable expression. They waited until the carriage got closer, and Gerard helped Ellen inside before climbing in after her.
“Tell me, My Lady, did London by night satisfy you?” Gerard asked once the carriage began to move.
“Fairly so, My Lord,” Ellen replied.
Gerard smiled. “Do you crave other satisfaction?”
“What further satisfaction can one crave after a night like this?” she wondered aloud.
“Oh, sweet Diamond. You truly know nothing,” Gerard said, his eyes darkening.
Moving closer, Gerard brought his lips to Ellen’s ear and planted a small kiss there. He kept an arm across her waist to keep her from bolting out of her seat as he planted small kisses on the sides of her face and on her neck. Ellen, gasping, trembled slightly at the assault. “My Lord,” she whispered.
“Do you want me to stop?” asked Gerard.
It took a moment before Ellen replied. The Earl’s touch was awakening a fire in her that she did not want to be quenched. “No,” she said finally, and Gerard continued to nip at her shoulder. His hand found the edge of her gown and gathered up her skirts, running his fingers across her long stockings and moving upward to her thighs.
Ellen gasped loudly as Gerard touched the sensitive skin that lay underneath all those layers of clothing. She instinctively widened her legs to accommodate his intrusion and began to feel some wetness pooling between her legs. She moaned as his fingers traveled higher and higher, but just as he was about to touch her core, he immediately withdrew.
Ellen’s eyes snapped open. “Have I done something to displease you, My Lord?” she whimpered.
“Not at all, sweet one,” replied Gerard, amused. “But I will not ruin you for your husband. I may be a rake, but I am an honorable one.”
Ellen whimpered softly as Gerard’s hands caressed her face. She had felt nothing like this before. All the Mamas of theton, including her own mother, had said the bedding was painful, but this was pleasure enough for her.
“Easy now, My Lady,” Gerard said when he noticed Ellen’s downcast expression. “You can explore this pleasure later tonight, if you want.”
“How?” asked Ellen.
“Oh, you are as innocent as a dove,” Gerard chuckled. “I do not want to ruin this innocence for you.”
“Oh, please tell me,” Ellen pleaded. “I surely cannot ruin myself, can I?”
