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She seemed stunned. “I didn’t expect you to feel that way.”
“And I probably wouldn’t if my brother hadn’t gotten married.”
“You have a brother?”
I nodded. “He’s my predecessor, strongest guy I know, and he gave up everything when he met his woman. He married her, knocked her up, and that’s his story. Watching him love someone and her love him back changed my opinion about the whole thing. I’m not saying that will happen to me or that I want it to happen to me, but I’m not gonna sit here and say it will never happen to me.” I watched her reaction, watched her hang on every word I said.
She stared at me a bit longer, like she needed extra seconds to process what I said. “Well, that woman you can’t live without will never be me because that’s what you promised.”
My lips rose slightly when I stared at her. “And you think I’m egotistical…”
She released a faint chuckle and covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. “Oh, I know I must sound crazy… I don’t blame you for thinking that. I just have to cross my T’s and dot my I’s.” She stared down at her hands. “I feel better now, but there is one more thing…”
“I’m listening.”
“We have our own allegiances. Mine will never change, and if I ever knew Damien would hurt you, set you up in some way, I would never tell you. If I knew he was going to bomb your entire home and kill you, I still wouldn’t tell you. Just because we’re sleeping together doesn’t change the way I feel about our predicament. I will never have any loyalty to you, and if there’s anything I can do to help my brother, I will.”
Her coldness actually turned me on, because she had the hardness of a man, the pragmatism of a devoted soldier. We were on two sides of a war, and when we met in the middle, it was for one purpose—that was it. The rest of the time, it was just business. “That’s fine with me.”
“I mean it. I’m close with Anna, and she tells me stuff…”
I gave a slight smile. “Baby, I don’t need your help. I’m a grown-ass man.”
“So, if he has plans to kill you, I could be fucking you the night before and still not say a word. I just want to be clear.” She was the woman in my bed, but she was my enemy. She would betray me first chance she got and not feel remorseful about it.
Fuck, that was hot. “You’re absolutely clear.”
When she had nothing more to say, she turned quiet, still tense after that long conversation.
“We don’t fuck other people. That’s my one stipulation.” My tone was firm.
“You don’t seem like the jealous type.”
“Because I’m not. You’re the jealous one.”
Her anger started to rise. “I am not.”
I grinned at the memory of our conversation in the doorway. “You said my dick is yours. If that’s not jealousy, I don’t know what it is. And don’t apologize for it because it’s fucking hot.”
Her anger evaporated.
“I just don’t want to wear a condom.” I didn’t want to go through her drawer where other men had dug their hands in the past. I didn’t want to take the time to roll the piece of latex over my dick before I could finally get inside her. I didn’t want some rubber shit separating our bodies, numbing the amazing sensations between our bodies. I wanted to come inside her over and over, night after night.
“Then I expect you to get checked out.”
“Fine with me.”
She turned her gaze back to me, studying my expression. “And what about me?”
“I assumed you would get tested or have already been tested.” I knew she slept around based on what I’d witnessed at the bar, but I also knew she was smart and would protect herself at all times.
“That’s not what I mean…” She turned away and looked at her sink, as if this new topic made her more uncomfortable than all the rest.
“Then what do you mean, baby?” I called her baby because she was mine. For however long this lasted, she belonged to me; she was my woman. I wanted to savor every aspect of ownership, to enjoy all the passion we could find.
She couldn’t look at me as she spoke. “You never asked if I was raped…”
The thought had crossed my mind, but I didn’t want to know. The bruises on her face were enough to make me hurl into my toilet when I got home. I did my best to disassociate from that reality, not to let my nightmares go that far. “It’s none of my business. And even if you were, doesn’t change how I feel about you…which I’ve already proven.” My attraction to her was still enormous, regardless of where she’d been before me. Maybe other men would be uncomfortable by the fact, but not me. I wanted her as she came, scars, bruises, and all.
