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Nik ran his thumb over her chin and across her bottom lip, staring into her eyes. “Don’t write me off yet.”
***
Chapter Nineteen
The last thing Nik wanted to do right now was leave town. Not while Ali was still upset with him. He needed to make things right, and leaving town now would only give her time to solidify her decision.
This isn't over. She can’t just decide it’s over.
He didn’t really have a choice, though. He had missed the mission to conquer Andus; he couldn’t miss another one. They needed to return to Andus to go through the damage. It’s what they did after every town they decimated. It was the reason their town flourished while so many others failed. They could scrap valuable materials and goods in addition to the labor.
Most of the time Nik didn’t give it much thought, but knowing that he was returning to Ali’s home was unsettling. It felt like an invasion of her privacy, especially now when she wasn’t speaking to him. She had seen him play the role of a dutiful guard. He knew that by traveling to her hometown, he’d be forced to face certain demons. Demons that he wasn’t ready to face.
They left early in the morning, before the sun had risen, in a small group that included Nik and a dozen other guardsmen who looked equally dispirited to be heading out in the freezing cold. It had taken almost two days for them to trek from Andus to Rysburg with the prisoners, but their group was determined to do it one day. No one wanted to sleep out in the open in the middle of winter. They all would rather be tucked in bed right now with a warm blanket, protected from the wind and the snow that had begun to fall. It was a lot easier to accomplish when they weren’t dragging prisoners along for the ride, although the large horse and wagon slowed them down a bit. They had to stick to main trails instead of a more direct route through the woods.
For the first few hours of their journey, everyone was too tired to carry on much conversation. They were all still half asleep, and their feet trudged along purely out of muscle memory. Nik preferred the silence. There were very few people he actually enjoyed conversing with. He just wanted to get this done and over with so he could return and convince Ali that he was sorry and worthy of her forgiveness.
Lunch was a quick stop, merely fifteen minutes. It was long enough to rehydrate, pass out sandwiches, and eat them on the go. Snow turned to sleet and then back to snow an hour later. His clothes were soaked and they’d only been traveling for a few hours. He was thankful to be moving constantly because it meant keeping warm.
It was late in the evening when they finally arrived at Andus. Nik surveyed the destruction as they walked through the entrance of the town. It was dark and hard to make out a lot of details, but he could see crumbled stone and charred walls. It was more demolished than he had expected.
“What happened here?” He turned to the guardsman next to him. “Were you here?”
“Yeah, I was here.” He looked around, surveying the destruction. “Just the usual. Came in, rounded them up, and left. It wasn’t a very exciting trip, to be honest. They didn’t put up much of a fight. I mean, they tried, but it was clear from the start they weren’t prepared to handle a threat like us.”
“Why does it all look so…” He searched for the right word. “Dilapidated?”
“It was like this before we got here. Looks like they built their houses right into the rubble. Pretty interesting design, actually. Haven’t seen anything like it before.”
The man turned and went through the singed door of a concrete building. Their shelter for the night.
Nik took one more moment to take in his surroundings and kicked at some loose rubble.
Clever, disguising their homes like that. Too bad it didn’t work.
Nik tossed and turned most of the night, kept up by thoughts of Ali and the cold air. He shivered and clenched the thin blanket around his body. His muscles ached terribly from the trip, but it was impossible to rest. He listened irritably to the snoring of his comrades. It must be nice to sleep so peacefully.
When at last he fell asleep, nightmares of Ali haunted him. He dreamt she was still here, with the village burning around her. Her feet were stuck to the ground and she couldn’t move. Flames swallowed her and he screamed, trying to reach her, but every step he took forward sent him three steps back. He couldn’t get closer. He couldn’t save her.
Then Colin appeared and Nik fell to his knees. He easily surpassed Nik, who crawled on all fours, desperate to get to Ali. Colin walked up to her, circled behind her back and then drew his sword. Through the flames and smoke, Nik watched as he slowly slit her throat. She grasped at her neck, drawing in her own blood. His own fingernails bled as he clawed at the ground, but he couldn’t save her. He had promised to kill anyone who harmed her, but he was incapable of keeping her safe.
He shuddered awake and felt tears pouring down his face. The sun peeked through the dirty windows of their shelter while he wiped under his eyes. He prayed no one would stir for a little while longer, but his hopes were dashed when the first person stood and stretched. Once one person woke, they would all follow, and it was best not to be the last one to be ready.
They were each assigned different sections of the town to salvage. In the daylight, Nik could see the center of town had been burned beyond recognition. He swallowed bile as he recalled his nightmare.
He was assigned to the northeast corner and set off, hoping the day wouldn’t take long. He was thankful that Andus was so small. Between the dozen of them, they could easily get it done in a day.
The sun gleamed through the feathery clouds and it offered Nik some warmth and the slightest hint of optimism, chasing his nightmares away. The snow from the prior evening had already started to melt and splashed beneath his boots. The first door he stumbled upon appeared to be a home. A sign hanging next to the door was scorched from fire, but he could make out just a few letters that appeared to be a surname.
Shit. I don’t even know Ali’s last name. How would I know if this is her home?
It was probably for the best that he didn’t know her full name. That way, he wouldn’t be tempted to pry into her old life. He opened the door that hung flimsily on its hinges and entered a family room. It smelled like dust and decay, like it had been abandoned for far more than just a couple months.
He noticed some sturdy furniture, a bookcase and end tables. They could save the lumber from that and repurpose it, but he’d need help carrying it out. The couch and chairs were too shoddy to save. He pulled a mirror and some iron-wrought decor off the walls and slipped it into the large bag he’d brought. Not much else was worth saving. There was a rug with so many holes in it, he wondered how they didn’t trip on the frayed edges.
The kitchen had a few utensils and accessories they could use. No food or spices. It looked like everything they had was spoiled. Nik wondered if it was actually for the best that they’d been captured. It didn’t look like they would’ve made it through the winter on their own. He’d have to come back for the table and chairs as well.
This home only had two bedrooms. Much like the couch in the living room, the furniture in both was too worn out to take back. The wood was cracked and wouldn’t hold up if they tried to use it for anything else. There were tattered blankets and clothing as well. He only managed to pull out a few shirts and pants that were in decent shape.
