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“Ali.” He stopped her. “I’m trying my best to be okay with this, but I really would rather not hear his name.”
“Sorry.” She stared at the ground again, and Eli sighed. How would they ever get past this?
“You don’t need to apologize.” If anyone should apologize, it was him, but he was too stubborn. The best he could do was bite his tongue.
“What do you think it’ll be like? Working as a guard?” she asked, effectively changing the topic.
“Boring,” he joked. “How badly does this gate need protecting? I imagine I’ll just be sitting around all day.”
“Sounds riveting.” She smiled, and he returned the gesture. It was nice to see her smiling again. Could they find a new normal between them? One where she was happy and he was content?
“Might not be the most exciting job, but I think it’ll be for the best.”
It would be. He was sure of it. But as the rest of the day passed, he couldn’t help but second guess his decision. He watched from a distance as Nik flirted with Ali and she smiled even larger than she had during their lunch break. He felt like his heart was ripping into pieces, knowing he didn’t evoke that level of happiness in her anymore.
If he left, he wouldn’t be able to intervene. He wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on her and prevent her from making mistakes.
But they’re her mistakes to make.
If he stayed, he’d be subjected to their banter and stolen glances. It was excruciating. Of all the things he’d been through, letting go of Ali was one of the hardest. Other things had been done to him. This was a pain he willingly inflicted upon himself. A blade that cut to his core and bled him dry, but he held the knife.
Eli covered the last row of crops with topsoil and wiped a dirty hand across his forehead. He might miss Ali, but he wouldn’t miss this work.
“You’re lucky I didn’t have you spreading manure today. Thought it would’ve made a good going-away present, but unfortunately, we didn’t need to fertilize today.”
Eli caught a sight of Nik out of the corner of his eye and grimaced. “I’m so disappointed,” he said sarcastically.
“You’re doing the right thing,” Nik said, reading Eli’s body language. It was clear he was struggling with the decision. “Hell, maybe you’ll even manage to escape.”
Eli raised his brows in shock. He couldn’t tell if Nik was serious. Had Ali filled him in? How much did he know? He played coy. “Highly doubt it.”
“Not with that attitude,” Nik mocked.
Eli grew nervous. What had Ali told him? Were they working together?
“I’m trying to help you,” Nik said.
“Yes, you’ve helped so much already. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Eli could’ve smacked the grin right off of his face, but they’d been there before and it hadn’t worked out well. He hated seeing Nik’s smug face. It aggravated him more than anything else.
Nik started to walk away, but Eli stopped him. “Why? Why are you helping me?”
Nik thought for a moment. “I’m not the villain you think I am. And despite how I feel about you, I know you mean a lot to Ali. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for her.”
His answer gutted Eli, but he knew it was true. “I figured you just wanted to get rid of me.”
“That’s a bonus.” He grinned and turned on his heel, leaving Eli to clean up his area. Eli chuckled as he picked up his tools. If Nik wasn’t such a pain in his ass, they might have been friends.
***
Chapter Twenty-Six
Nik sat against the trunk of a tree as Marcus pulled out his canteen. Water spilled from the top as he sloppily brought it down from his face. Their reconnaissance mission had been unsuccessful so far. After they told Jameson about their first mission and the missing goods, he had hastily thrown together a second mission to scout the surrounding area. The commander was determined to squash any potential foes before anything bad happened. They were assigned partners and designated areas to search, and Nik had been fortunate enough to be stuck with Marcus.
So far, the only adversary they had come across was a rabbit that spooked both of them when it sprang out of the bushes and a rogue tree trunk that tripped Marcus and nearly made him face plant into the ground. They hadn’t come across a single clue as to who might’ve ransacked Andus, and Marcus started grumbling. If they didn’t find anything today, they’d be out here day in and day out until they did. Jameson would not let this go. He was a ferocious leader and a big reason Rysburg had lasted this long and had so much to be thankful for.
Nik was just as cranky. He missed Ali. Marcus wasn’t thinking of his wife, though. It was the conditions that bothered him the most. It was still winter, and Nik’s thick coat did little to prevent the cold from reaching his bones. His fingers were purple and they matched his lips, both of which were numb. He cupped his hands and filled them with his warm breath.
